Sleep paralysis or more?

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I'd like to start off by saying I'm very new to learning about the possibilities of an afterlife so please take it easy on me! Ive gotten mixed responses and answers from people I know personally when I told them this story. My dad passed away 6 days ago, 3 nights ago I had an episode while trying to fall asleep.
I was laying on my back and all of the sudden I got feeling like someone was hugging me tightly from behind and scratching the back of my neck. I was trying to move and scream but I couldn't. Right before I jumped awake I heard an audible scream come from my mouth. I looked around and realized quickly that I hadn't made a sound because my husband was still sleeping peacefully. This happened 3-4 more times before I was able to fall asleep.
Most of my friends were saying I'm just stressed from losing my dad and so I was having sleep paralysis even though I've never experienced it before now. One of my friends told me it might be my dad trying to visit me. Which I was obviously hoping was the case because I miss him. When he was sick in the hospital he used to scratch my wrist to show me that he knew I was there and i was hoping the scratching feeling on the back on my neck was him showing me he was there. One of my friends also told me it might be a demon trying to take advantage of my weak state and pain or astral projection. I didnt think Astral projection was possible unless you were trying and focusing to do so. Is it possible this could be my dad or was it just sleep paralysis?
Also separate question, is it safe for me to talk to my dad and ask for him to show me he is still with me? My friend told me this is unsafe because you should never welcome or invite a spirit into your home?


janitor / administrator
welcome to ALF :)

It's completely safe to talk out loud to your dad and/or send him loving thoughts. He'll receive them and may respond in some way but that can't be guaranteed. It's not long since his passing and it may take him 'a little time' (although there is no actual time where he is) to adjust to his new circumstances.

I can't offer much concerning your experience other than to say you shouldn't be left feeling uneasy or suffering injury. I simply don't know what happened to you but there isn't any such thing as a demon as your friend described. Some sensitive people, however, may attract unknown and unwelcome visitors when they're experiencing deeply emotional events such as bereavement. Such visitors can be unsettling and alarming but shouldn't leave you fearful of their hurting you.

Try to focus on your dad, send him your love and tell him you know he's OK - because he WILL be. :)

As for not inviting a spirit (a discarnate) into your home then it's much the same as inviting someone (an incarnate) into your home in this world. When you are comfortable about who you're inviting in then that's the time to do it.
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It was my husband’s habit to come behind my chair and kiss the top of my head.
A few days after he left his body, I was sitting answering emails on my iPad, and It was quite unexpected.
Last week I was relaxed watching the sky and the same happened but I also felt hands on my shoulders. I just said, Oh, you’re back. Reality then hit me, I gave a sob then a laugh. I heard him chuckle back. I felt warm and blessed.
It seemed in both cases I was relaxed but absorbed.
By reality I mean my reality, what is reality?
We both shared the belief that consciousness is an energy so does not cease.
I was not thinking of him at the time, so not wishful thinking as some could suggest.
The electronics are playing up, especially email settings.
Although there are many butterflies about they seem to avoid the window in the shade, I suggested that he should get them to fly close to the window. The following day and since single ones have come in low and flown vertically up. Often just as I look up.
Once i could not turn the TV off, it came straight back on, I tried the remote and the switch. By then I was laughing but said it was my bedtime. The TV stayed off.


Major Contributor

I am sorry your father died. I don't know what your experience was -- it could have been your dad, it could have been sleep paralysis, it could have been wishful thinking or a dream. I need to say here that I do not know whether or not an afterlife exists, so that you understand where I'm coming from with my response.

I will say that one night very shortly after my husband died, I had an experience very similar to yours, in which I was laying on my back in our bed, and woke up to the feeling of him holding both of my hands, but in a way / at an angle that would mean he was occupying virtually the same space as my body. It truly felt, both physically and emotionally, like he was there with me. That was the only time this ever happened (my husband died in 2012). I still don't know if an afterlife exists, but that experience is one of the things that gives me some hope that it does. I hope your experience brings you some hope/peace.
All my life I have not accepted other people’s words until I have experienced for myself. My tutor used to call me her Doubting Thomas.
Some things chime true, then I think I have to work it through internally.
For me, I question whether things are wishful thinking. I question myself as to whether it has any helpful meaning in my present situation. Sometimes the truth clicks into place further down the line.
I mentioned the butterflies and what I thought was an unusual flight pattern. Yesterday I looked this up, it is indeed very unusual, most fly erratically to avoid predators. A few very poisonous ones do fly in straight lines. Others of the same type were fluttering around. This seems to confirm my instinct, I am open to other offers.
It seems sometimes that small things bring confirmation and comfort.
I have found that when I ask sincerely for an answer it does come.
Sometimes from an unusual source.
Is this what is meant by ‘ask and it is given’? I wonder whether people ask for worthy but material things then feel let down. sorry getting off track here.


janitor / administrator
You earlier asked what reality is and I reply that reality is what you experience, what I experience and what anyone experiences.

If you're interested in hearing others' experiences of signs and messages there's a long running conversation elsewhere on ALF. What you've described you'll see others have already described.

Carol Morgan's Q&A thread also has many examples of her son Mikey's influence in bringing her reassurance of his survival and presence.
Thank you, yes reality is very subjective. I will find the thread. I have just finished Carole's book I appreciated it very much.


janitor / administrator
All my life I have not accepted other people’s words until I have experienced for myself. My tutor used to call me her Doubting Thomas.

What I learned was 'Test the spirit.' and/or 'Spirit loves an enquiring mind'.

On a personal level I would consider myself privileged to have experienced much of what I now understand before I could accept it. Luckily for me there are more ways than one to skin a cat.
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