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mac

janitor / administrator
Staff member
Dear Mac,

You said in response to Rory, "I'm experiencing individuality in this physical dimension and for me it ain't something I altogether care for." To me, this is a fascinating look into the ways in which we are all different. It makes sense to me now why you would want to merge with source.
I'm glad my feeble attempts to explain my position have worked to some degree....

Are you an extrovert by any chance? I ask because as an introvert (Joe was too - we were "hermits" together, LOL) and as a person who has misophonia (noises bother me a lot) I cherish alone time, and to me that seems to go hand and hand with individuality (i.e., I'm an "individual", "one", "alone", "solitude").
extrovert? qui, moi? Oh I don't see myself as an extrovert but neither am I on the other end of the spectrum - I guess I'm somewhere along the central section between one and t'other.....

Misophonia is an interesting - yet undoubtedly distressing for the experiencer - condition. Whether it would be a particularly apt word in connection with "individuality" I'm not sure because individuality can encompass a virtually unlimited range of conditions. Maybe you'd accept it's a part of your personality rather than defining or characterising your individuality?



But I am most likely looking at this incorrectly. Why? Because extraverts are also individuals, however, they are energized by being with other people. I am exhausted by being around other people, so of course [now, while here on earth] the idea of merging with source sounds horrendous! :p
As I am reading what you're saying, that last part is not logical unless you perceive source as similar to being a person or unless you perceive merging with source as being around other people......

Consider this. Only the most spiritually advanced souls will be at a point where/when they're spiritually-ready to merge with source. If you look at 'when' that point is and why they're at it then you'll surely find that those souls have long since lost their former individuality - as will you have done or you wouldn't be in their company.

Even when you are in the ante room of source - the ante room to the Godhead if you prefer - because YOU are sufficiently spiritually-progressed and ready to merge with source (Please pick your own words if you don't care for mine) you would not be with individuals, the very thing that as an incarnate you say exhausts you.

You would be in the company of entities equally spiritually-advanced as yourself, entities whose individuality had long been lost in the "purification" of their soul they have experienced - and you would also have experienced - on your way there.

You would be surrounded by - let's call it 'love' - so profound and enveloping that any notion of you being with "people" would be wholly inappropriate and is just plain wrong.

What's more long before you were at such a point ALL of the limitations you experience as an individual in-the-body would have long vanished.
 

JJHome

Occasional Contributor
I guess a lot of this is just way beyond my understanding, because I just don't understand how individuality would be lost through "purification" and I suppose even the word "entity" would then be incorrect "a thing with distinct and independent existence."....

Misophonia is a neural wiring problem so when I detach from my physical body that malady should disappear with it. I just meant that because noises bother me a lot, that's one reason why I don't like to be around a lot of people, as I seek solace in quiet (hard to find). Right now the birds are chirping in the courtyard and to most people that would be a lovely, relaxing sound. To me, because of my sensitive hearing, coupled with the acoustic amplification of the courtyard, and because the chirping is very high-pitched and occurs every 4 seconds like clockwork, it's like Chinese water torture. Bizarre, I know. So I've shut myself in the back room to put my headphones on and listen to thunderstorm sounds.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my all-over-the-place questions.
 

mac

janitor / administrator
Staff member
I guess a lot of this is just way beyond my understanding, because I just don't understand how individuality would be lost through "purification" and I suppose even the word "entity" would then be incorrect "a thing with distinct and independent existence."....
If memory serves me well I used the word "entity" to distinguish between 'ordinary' discarnates and those whose spiritual evolvement was greatly advanced, 'entities' totally beyond any human's comprehension and maybe beyond even many highly-evolved spirits but spirits who are nowhere near being able to enter the so-called ante chamber. I don't know if my perception is anything like correct but it works for me. It works well enough for me to be able to envisage what others may see very differently and how they see things is - of course - absolutely fine. Their version for themselves is as good as mine is for me.

Misophonia is a neural wiring problem so when I detach from my physical body that malady should disappear with it.
absolutely correct

I just meant that because noises bother me a lot,
I get this. I have an acoustic neuroma, a tumour pressing on my hearing and balance nerves which has nothing in common with your condition but having my issue resulted in my studying hearing perception and associated problems. What you've described about your own problems is similar to a degree to hyperacusis which my son-in-law suffers from - and I use "suffers" deliberately. In your piece just below you describe the distress you feel from a situation many/most might find pleasurable or at least easily tolerable. There are times when I can experience what you describe but I'm blessed I am able to manage my condition virtually all the time. I totally get why yours causes you such distress and I do not find it in any sense bizarre.

that's one reason why I don't like to be around a lot of people, as I seek solace in quiet (hard to find). Right now the birds are chirping in the courtyard and to most people that would be a lovely, relaxing sound. To me, because of my sensitive hearing, coupled with the acoustic amplification of the courtyard, and because the chirping is very high-pitched and occurs every 4 seconds like clockwork, it's like Chinese water torture. Bizarre, I know. So I've shut myself in the back room to put my headphones on and listen to thunderstorm sounds.
see above

I am highly sensitive to very low frequencies which cause me extreme discomfort and I can't escape the insistent, persistent 'humming' inside my head unless I move away from the location of the low frequency sounds. Only a louder, broad-spectrum noise can 'mask' the hum in my head. I get why the shrill bird cheeping hurts you so much. My son-in-law is sensitive to both high and low frequencies and also suffers from hyperacusis as I mentioned earlier. He is comfortable only with sounds of a low amplitude which means much of this world is just too loud for him - always. So I do have a measure of understanding of your problems and huge sympathy.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my all-over-the-place questions.
Not all, my pleasure to chat with you.

It's totally understandable that such complex ideas can lead on to many questions. I suppose I've asked myself similar questions when looking for ways to get to grips with difficult topics. It's what I do when I need to sort stuff out in my thoughts. Nowadays, apart from trying to find the most appropriate words to express myself, I have reached the point where I don't have to think very hard about any of the things we've been discussing here. It's not been an easy journey. ;)
 

JJHome

Occasional Contributor
Thank you again for your kind words, means a lot to me.

My sympathies also to you, and to your son-in-law! Low frequencies also are a torture, my upstairs neighbor thumps and rumbles and drops things that roll around on the floor (is he bowling, perhaps?!) at all hours of the day and night. It causes anger and distress, but I also know he's not doing these things purposely, so it creates a variety of conflicting emotions. And then there are times at night when I hear something that sounds similar to the Taos Hum (although I'm nowhere near Taos). I wonder if misaphonia and hyperacusis go hand and hand. People joke that I am like a bat, that I hear supersonic sounds that no one else does. One good thing - if anyone is ever breaking in, I will hear it immediately!

Until I read about misophonia and saw that it is recognized as an actual condition, I thought that I was just an irritable a-hole (it's possible that's still true, lol) !!

I'm sorry to hear about your condition! Do you also experience vertigo as a result? I sincerely hope not! I've had a few idiopathic bouts of that.

And now a llttle humor is in order -- A segment of my afterlife environ will consist of beautiful scenery and lovely, blissful silence! You and son-in-law are welcome to hang out any time. :)
 
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mac

janitor / administrator
Staff member
Thank you again for your kind words, means a lot to me.
not at all :)

My sympathies also to you, and to your son-in-law! Low frequencies also are a torture, my upstairs neighbor thumps and rumbles and drops things that roll around on the floor (is he bowling, perhaps?!) at all hours of the day and night. It causes anger and distress, but I also know he's not doing these things purposely, so it creates a variety of conflicting emotions.
I sometimes experience similar if we stay in a hotel. The pre-stressed concrete floors and walls resonate at certain frequencies and the sound of heavy footsteps seemed to be magnified in those places. Same goes for elevator motor noise. Thankfully we live in a detached house.


And then there are times at night when I hear something that sounds similar to the Taos Hum (although I'm nowhere near Taos).
Or the Windsor, ON, hum??? These low frequency sounds - often seemingly generated many kilometres away - can drive one to distraction. But they may also be down to faulty body parts and tinnitus! My wife has poor hearing and tinnitus at varying levels as do I, mine being attributable to the neuroma. Sometimes in bed she'll ask me whether she is hearing an engine running. Most times she can't and most times she hears very little without her hearing aids anyway. I'm her benchmark as I have one good - fair! - ear and the other that's a problem so if I don't hear anything we agree her noise is inside her head. But sometimes we BOTH appear to hear something although often I conclude we're both just hearing it inside our heads. On some occasions I can hear our fridges compressor motors running or the central heating pump! So I do get how your own hearing issues must drive you mad at times, perhaps most times.

I wonder if misaphonia and hyperacusis go hand and hand. People joke that I am like a bat, that I hear supersonic sounds that no one else does. One good thing - if anyone is ever breaking in, I will hear it immediately!
I expect hearing issues of many kinds and hearing loss lead to many of the reported conditions. You're right about break-ins but some nights I hear pops and bangs as the house cools which are alarming because break-ins might sound similar.

Until I read about misophonia and saw that it is recognized as an actual condition, I thought that I was just an irritable a-hole (it's possible that's still true, lol) !!
Yes it must be easy to draw that conclusion!

I'm sorry to hear about your condition! Do you also experience vertigo as a result? I sincerely hope not! I've had a few idiopathic bouts of that.
It's hard for me to be certain whether vertigo is in my spectrum but certain elements likely are present. When my problem kicked off my first indicator was mild tinnitus - I noticed it one cold, still, quiet Arizona winter night as I got back in bed after a bathroom visit. I remember thinking the hissing sound must be tinnitus and thought little more of it - that was late 2008.

I had, though, on various earlier occasions thought our fifth wheel trailer must have been off-level because I felt like I was falling over. I did find that odd, however, as I was always fastidious about levelling side to side and front to back. Later that winter my symptoms changed and became more severe. My balance was all over the place, walking - and especially running - in a straight line became impossible and road noise became horrendously loud. I had no idea what was happening but as I was in Arizona and didn't want to get involved with the US healthcare system - been there, done that previously - I soldiered on.

Over the next several months I grew used to feeling the way I did and I was still able to drive and run. I was super-careful when driving but neither my wife nor our daughter had noticed anything (they told me) after I told them many months later of my issues that winter.

Running was really peculiar - I couldn't look into the distance when I ran along the block sidewalk because everything felt like it was bouncing up and down. I didn't dare turn my head by even a few degrees or I'd end up on the highway. I had to focus intently on the ground a few metres in front of me to be able to run at all and I had to stop and focus intently on any curb or crossing and especially at any intersection I needed to negotiate. It was a weird time but over the next umpteen months I acclimatised to what was happening and eventually I had adapted to my new situation and I found I could run and walk without folk appearing to notice anything was wrong. Life went on but there were aperiodic episodes of odd issues until a major one after which an MRI confirmed the tumor's presence. But here we are and 16 years later I'm still functioning pretty well.

And now a llttle humor is in order -- A segment of my afterlife environ will consist of beautiful scenery and lovely, blissful silence! You and son-in-law are welcome to hang out any time. :)
I'm totally with you about the beautiful scenery and silence although in reality you should actually enjoy hearing birds cheeping and the sound of a gentle wind blowing through the leaves on the trees because those things - found in so-called shared realities - you will not experience via the crap auditory system you are stuck with right now. Birds cheeping? yes Wind blowing? yes Rain falling......? Now let's not get carried away with all this!!! lol ;)
 

mac

janitor / administrator
Staff member
We drifted a little from Bruce's original topic but Bruce rarely engages in discussion anyway so he'll probably not notice! ;) :D

It was a pleasant change to have some challenging thoughts to get involved with - thank you.
 

JJHome

Occasional Contributor
Wowsers, you've been through a lot, and how amazing that your body was able to adapt and change to accommodate the balance issues, among other things - but that must have been fairly scary at the time! I hope things have calmed down for you in that regard.

LOL re: getting carried away! Though you're right, I won't have misophonia "over there" thank goodness, so all these things should be enjoyable.

And we certainly did go over the river and through the woods! :D But this is all good, as it's not healthy to exist in an echo chamber.

Take care,
Jennifer
 

mac

janitor / administrator
Staff member
Thanks for your thoughts, JJ.....

Yes in the early months - years after an MRI scan revealed the tumour - I didn't know if it was growing. Some unsettled years followed with the need for skull-base/brain surgery always a possibility if tumour growth were detected. That's how it remains but the longer there's no growth the less the chance it will happen at all.

The scan had been ordered 2015 after I experienced sudden, partial hearing loss after several years with nothing more than tinnitus and the initial, weird stuff 2008/2009. I didn't even report those symptoms as by the time I had returned home to the UK that spring they weren't affecting me too badly - I was coping.

As time went by I became habituated to tinnitus and I learned to deal with my poor balance. It's still far from normal. At the time I assumed - wrongly it later turned out - both were caused by the tinnitus. But after the MRI scan in 2015 I waited nervously because - my extensive research revealed - there's no knowing if a tumour will grow slowly, grow quickly or grow at all. Thankfully mine hasn't grown since 2015 and in an hour's time (as I'm writing this) I am scheduled for my next scan - fingers crossed for the outcome.
 

JJHome

Occasional Contributor
Dear Mac,

I'm not sure if by this time you have already had your MRI, but I wanted to send my best wishes to you for a good outcome! While I'm thankful for our physical bodies as they enable us to have this life experience, they certainly can give us more than our fair share of issues and complaints.

Here's to good health and happiness for all of us here!! (I wish it was that simple...)
 

mac

janitor / administrator
Staff member
Dear Mac,

I'm not sure if by this time you have already had your MRI, but I wanted to send my best wishes to you for a good outcome! While I'm thankful for our physical bodies as they enable us to have this life experience, they certainly can give us more than our fair share of issues and complaints.

Here's to good health and happiness for all of us here!! (I wish it was that simple...)
hear, hear on that last point, JJ..... I cringe when at zoom spooks sessions the medium asks for healing for everybody and for the earth, all the animals etc. If only it were that simple - everything would already be hunky dory. But they mean well.

Yes I went for the scan half an hour after I'd written my last posting to you (9.30am BST, 2.30am MST) and thank you for your good wishes. It was a doddle, no waiting around, a short, noisy time in a close-fitting tube and back home after some grocery shopping. I'm fairly confident nothing will have changed in the two years since the last one but we'll see.
 
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