I knew that my Michel will pass away from very beginning of our relationship. I just saw police coming to me, knocking on the door and informing me about his death. I wasvery happy when he finally left army and we moved away to another country. Somehow i thought that it might be military police and i felt i bit relief. But about 6 months or even a bit more before Michel passed I started to feel that fear again. I felt anxious, depressed, scared all together. I started to avoid to go on internet because it was a period where all i saw was articles about death, mostly drowning. It irritated me. I never read such articles. I dont want to see the names of them even. I thought im going crazy and often told to mom on the call that i dont know what is going on but i literally "climb the walls" because of my fears and feelings inside. Some time before all happened i shared my fears with our friend we lived together. I said i cannot see me and Michel old. I just dont see us together in future. Few weeks before Michel died i started conversation with him and same friend about death. I said i want to be cremated and my ashes shall be spread. Michel spoke his own will. The evening before everything happened we were near one lake to let some fish in and i felt so strong sadness for the moment. It was early evening, sun was going down, a bit chilly and windy. Small waves on the lake. The picture almost put me into tears. But Michel took me by hand as we headed back to car and i felt much better. It was last time he took me by hand as he passed away next morning. Police came and knocked our door that evening. Because of all of this i know that i knew that he will pass away. Because we are so strongly connected with love in our hearts. We were and are one so for me it is completely common sense that i felt this.