Thanks, annabanana. I hope the reading helps. If there is an afterlife, I think you're probably right that our dead loved ones feel our pain and misery, and I feel a lot of guilt about that, but I can't be any other way. I have tried to communicate with him, and I have asked him before going to sleep to come to me either in a dream or (preferably) for real. So far it has not happened. When I try to think of happy memories, for the most part they only make me sad.