Kim, So sorry for your loss. Grief is a difficult process and our mind and bodies go through a tumble drier of emotions. Absolutely DO cry, it’s an essential part of the process. You will dream about her, your mind will be on her constantly because her loss is so shocking to the core and it’s a difficult adjustment. Don’t fear grief: it has to be experienced in order for YOU to move on. As for your loved one who has died, she won’t be trapped in some place between earth and the afterlife. If you feel her perhaps she’s actually just telling you she’s alright and trying to send you comfort. I personally get the sense that this is all too raw for you to see a medium. If anything consider grief therapy and then perhaps see a medium in a couple of years when you have emotionally healed. Death is as much a part of life as birth, we should celebrate it, not fear it. Just as a baby picks its moment to be born, I do truly believe we often pick our moments to exit and move on to a new adventure. You’re absolutely not going crazy - what would be crazy is no reaction to a loved one’s death and not thinking a thing of it. When my brother died, I was just 11 and spoke to him in my head for about 3 months. I asked if it was really real and he said yes, so I made him promise not to appear as a ghost! I do believe there’s a veil between the two worlds and feel that my dad, who also died, has now reincarnated as I can no longer sense him as I used to be able to do. One thing that might help is quietly talking to her in your head and sending her love, wishing her well and promising that whilst of course you are sad and will miss her that you will try hard to enjoy and savour all the pleasure in life that she can’t. I have never been to this forum before so I hope everything I have said is ok. I’m speaking from my heart and felt drawn to come here and read your message and reply. You won’t always be in so much pain: it does get better and you will heal. Sending love and healing to you and your mum. Jen UPDATE: Doh! I thought that had been posted just today for some reason! Now I can see it’s a few months old. Hope you’re feeling better now Kim, if you see this!