vic, I agree that if there's a god, s/he should not punish us for grieving when our loved ones die, no matter how we express that grief, and especially if s/he made us this way. I used to believe that if there's a god, that god would love us unconditionally. I don't know if I believe that anymore, though. It would be good if it's true, but then again in my opinion if there were a god who loved me, s/he wouldn't have allowed my husband to die when he did. So intellectually I agree with what you've said, and in the past I would have completely agreed with you emotionally as well. But now I have no faith in anything, particularly god.