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How do we know if we are holding a loved one back from progressing in the afterlife?

Discussion in 'After-Death Communication' started by Linda, May 10, 2012.

  1. Linda

    Linda New Member

    I always hope that Tom is happy in the Summerland despite my grief. My grief is like a pendulum, sometimes I feel lost, depressed, alone; other times I can be cheerful, laughing and feel positive. Coming to this forum has been so helpful with my grief and gives me warmth and a renewed optimism.

    How do we know if we are not letting go of our loved ones? Can my grief hold Tom back from progressing in to the afterlife? If I am feeling depressed, having a bad day, does this affect him? Does he usually know how I am feeling and what kinds of days I have?

    I do talk to him; sometimes I feel I don’t do this enough. I just don’t want to bore him on about mundane daily life. I wish I knew what is he up to, what is he doing, how is he feeling, what are his plans, what is he experiencing on a personal level. I wish we could have a two way communication, but then, would I hold him back if we did?

    I hate it when people tell me to move on, that I should forget about the past! I do not want to ever say goodbye to Tom, no way. Some people around me think I obsess too much about the afterlife and that I read too many ‘weird books’! I want to learn and know what sort of things Tom might be experiencing.
  2. Hi Linda

    I can feel your frustration and your heartache coming through your post and let me firstly say, although I'm no expert and there are far better researched members here, I don't believe that you are holding Tom back. If anything, he can now feel the love you have for him on a far greater, far deeper level - soul to soul so to speak, which in my opinion can only accellerate his spiritual growth.

    Your grief is like everything else on all planes, like a pedulum, subject to the Laws of Rhythm. For ever swing one way there has to be a corresponding swing the oposite way, the effects of this principle can be minimised through "Mental Transmutation", limiting the backswing so to speak. This is done by focussing on the positives, feed your mind with happy thoughts, hard at first I know but will get easier. It needs to be done consciously and constantly at first and then will gradually become part of your subconscious "self talk". Feeding your mind this way alters your Vibrations and will manifest in a real physical sense of well being.

    This principle unfortunately works both ways, and we know too many people out there that only focus on the negatives, and what you say is what you get.

    An oldie but a goodie
    " Whatever the Mind of Man can conceive, and believe, it can achieve!"
  3. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    Three months after Mikey's accident I had someone tell me that asking Mikey for signs was holding him back from what he was suppose to be doing in Heaven. I needed to "move on, remember the good times, and get over it". This individual almost killed me mentally! I cried terribly after this conversation. Absolute gut wrenching pain this individual gave me from this comment. I asked her if she ever lost a child (I knew she had her spouse) , and she said no. My point is this, no one knows truly how you feel. I feel the grief one has after the passing of a loved one, is directly related to how much you loved the person who has passed. The more you love, the more you hurt! I will never let go of my son! Never! How can you let go of someone you love beyond love? I have let go of him "physically" , because we have to. But never any other way! Mikey wants everyone to know that when a loved one passes, the love is still as strong as ever! They care about us and want to help us. They guide us along the way. Talk to them and they will hear you! Mikey says "for sure" know that in Heaven, there is always "time" to help and guide a loved one on earth!
    Carol and Mikey "in Spirit"
  4. Andrew

    Andrew Guest

    You cannot really hold him back, per se, but it is possible to make him feel somewhat sad. The dead can easily feel our emotions so, if you grief over him, he can feel that grief. Our loved ones just want us to be happy, so sometimes our grief can be tough on them. Everyone grieves - that's normal - but unnaturally long/strong grief can certainly have a saddening effect on our loved ones. Does this make sense?

    Remember though, Tom is entirely in Spirit - he knows no time. Even if you were holding him back, there is no rush! You will be young, happy, and with him in the blink of an eye from his perspective. It's not as though he has to put his after-life on hold while you grief - he has all the time in the world.

    As for having a two-way conversation, the worry is not so much that you will hold him back. As I said, he has all the time in the world. It is true that it is best for our loved ones to communicate when they first die, and then begin to sever earthly ties (only until you return to Spirit) so that they can progress. But, he has plenty of time to do that. The problem with constant after-death communication is that it will hold you back. This is why some mediums will only give a reading every six months. You are only here for a fixed amount of time and have a lot to do. It is important that you not become addicted to communications. It's fine to do it, but you prevent you from progressing in life.

    I hope this helps!
    Last edited by a moderator: May 11, 2012
  5. I think you meant to say that it's important that she NOT become addicted to communications.

    That said, I have to agree with Andrew. You're not holding him back, and he will do what he has to accomplish up in Heaven.

    Like you, I don't get to experience two-way communication either with deceased loved ones. I wish I could, not just to see how they are doing, but also for my own spiritual curiosity as I don't feel "blessed with gifts" like some people are on this site.
  6. Andrew

    Andrew Guest

    Yup - I just changed it! Thanks!

    Don't worry, WWE LOVER, I don't have any particular communication abilities either. Of course, you could try to develop yours. Everyone can become a proficient medium, and most people can be a good one. I am working on this right now (I just saw my first aura today!).
  7. Maybe you can coach me. You have to remember that I am a cantekerous, middle-aged man so maybe that affects things for me in this regard.

    Anyhoo, how did you progress your ability? What techniques did you use, and what aura did you see?

    I thought about sending you a PM for this, but I figure it's better to post it in public as there will be others who will be curious.
  8. Linda

    Linda New Member

    Hi Fasaga
    You are right, that have we to keep positive, and keep looking for the positives whilst in grief, though without avoiding it!
  9. Linda

    Linda New Member

    Hi Carol and Mikey

    I know Tom will always be around me in some form. I have known him for half of my life and he is apart of me as I apart of him. He is my rock, my oak tree. Our love will always remain warm and strong. When I talk to him, I feel sensations around me, particularly my forehead, top of my heard – lots of cobwebs feeling, tingling. The strangest thing, when I talk to Tom, my right ear has a tendency to click as I speak, this does not normally occur, only when I sense him and speak to him. Once I sang in a spiritualist church and I my right ear clicked a few times and I silently giggled. This is usually one of the signs a spirit is around me.
  10. Linda

    Linda New Member

    Hi Andrew

    Yes what you say does make a lot a sense to me. I do not believe my grief for Tom is neither unnaturally strong nor complicated. Our love is strong and consistent I don’t ever wish to hold him back. I think its about striking a balance whilst grieving. Knowing that he continues to exist has helped me greatly, as well as this forum.

    I can see where two way communications could become addictive and even hold me back from progressing in my own life. I would not abuse this. I know I have to live my own life with positive intensions and with a sense of duty. Even though Tom and I have began our own new chapters, as it where, I like think we are still sharing, still connected even though now it’s on a spiritual level.

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