I always hope that Tom is happy in the Summerland despite my grief. My grief is like a pendulum, sometimes I feel lost, depressed, alone; other times I can be cheerful, laughing and feel positive. Coming to this forum has been so helpful with my grief and gives me warmth and a renewed optimism. How do we know if we are not letting go of our loved ones? Can my grief hold Tom back from progressing in to the afterlife? If I am feeling depressed, having a bad day, does this affect him? Does he usually know how I am feeling and what kinds of days I have? I do talk to him; sometimes I feel I don’t do this enough. I just don’t want to bore him on about mundane daily life. I wish I knew what is he up to, what is he doing, how is he feeling, what are his plans, what is he experiencing on a personal level. I wish we could have a two way communication, but then, would I hold him back if we did? I hate it when people tell me to move on, that I should forget about the past! I do not want to ever say goodbye to Tom, no way. Some people around me think I obsess too much about the afterlife and that I read too many ‘weird books’! I want to learn and know what sort of things Tom might be experiencing.