I feel like I have lost my way lately in trying to get through to him directly. I feel like whatever connection was there in the first year after his passing has disappeared. It is probably me, you know, life getting in the way and all, dealing with everyday life matters that sap my energy. Couple that with the feeling that "he hasnt been around lately" has made me wander. I have made a pact with myself however to start the process all over again and use Dr. Hogan and Julia's recommendations to connect personally again. I feel like I am in a different mindset, where last year was desperation to find him and make sure he is OK, confirm he goes on, confirm he is with me, now.. it has settled more into trying to develop and cultivate the new relationship. I hope that makes sense.