Fourth Medium Reading Today

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mac

Administrator
I'll leave the members named to decide whether I've tried to be helpful and supportive towards them in the past.

My view is that self-praise is no recommendation. My way is to address points directly, rather than rambling and blustering, believing that to be potentially more helpful. Where I write a lot it's generally in response to points made by others and rarely about me personally. Members may not, of course, think this is of any importance.

What notice we choose to take of the words of others here on ALF is a personal choice but you won't find mac promoting himself with pages of text and/or old screen-captures. Members may not think this is of any importance of course.
 

mac

Administrator
I apologise for having taken the thread off-topic but I was so appalled at what I was seeing and I allowed myself to react to it.

I wouldn't change my response but I acknowledge it wasn't the right place to make it. Sometimes in life, though, we react spontaneously to situations we find unacceptable when good counsel would tell us to hold our tongue 'til another time and another place.

Again I'm sorry I derailed the subject of the thread.
 

DenverGuy

Active Member
This is all I ask for... I wish a medium had just said this to me:

"Mila says to do what you have to do to go through life. I will be here for you. I will love you as before, I will always be with you, I will know that you will love me, and I will see to it that we will be together forever when the time comes. Please know that, don't worry, believe it, and take comfort in that."

I have mentioned that to the psychologist who I see twice per month. Her answer sent a good chill through me: "How do you know that you're not acting as your own medium?" Wow! Does that make sense?
 

mac

Administrator
This is all I ask for... I wish a medium had just said this to me:

"Mila says to do what you have to do to go through life. I will be here for you. I will love you as before, I will always be with you, I will know that you will love me, and I will see to it that we will be together forever when the time comes. Please know that, don't worry, believe it, and take comfort in that."

I have mentioned that to the psychologist who I see twice per month. Her answer sent a good chill through me: "How do you know that you're not acting as your own medium?" Wow! Does that make sense?

It's certainly possible. There's a great interest in self-initiated contact rather than via a traditional practitioner.
 

milahanna

Occasional Contributor
This is all I ask for... I wish a medium had just said this to me:

"Mila says to do what you have to do to go through life. I will be here for you. I will love you as before, I will always be with you, I will know that you will love me, and I will see to it that we will be together forever when the time comes. Please know that, don't worry, believe it, and take comfort in that."

I have mentioned that to the psychologist who I see twice per month. Her answer sent a good chill through me: "How do you know that you're not acting as your own medium?" Wow! Does that make sense?

I long to hear this from him as well. The silence is crippling me and as hard as I try to remain positive and lean on the love we shared, I can't keep the fears away. I'm quickly reaching the point where I might give up. Not because I don't love him because I do, more than anything, but because I feel forgotten by him. I know that we are told that isn't the case but actions speak louder than words and so many people around me are receiving signs. If I'm truly honest with myself, I will admit that something is obviously wrong.

What your psychologist said is very interesting though. Definitely something to think about.
 

ShingingLight1967

Occasional Contributor
First off... DenverGuy, Milihanna and bluebird... I apologize for overstepping and speaking for you with my assumptions. I assumed, that being new to this world as I still am, that the infighting is distracting to the answers that you seek. It's hard enough to find answers that resonate with you and the excess noise I believe distracts from that.

Second.. mac, I respect you more than you know. I believe you provide much wisdom and a different voice for consideration. Thank you. I didnt mean to pop off, and it seemed that you were trying to corral the situation, unfortunately there were too many postings that seemed combative, which I, in my humble opinion, takes can put off people who are here desperately looking for answers.

DenverGuy.. This is what I say to you in my experience. After my sittings with the mediums, readings and research, I have been working on trying to understand better what is my voice and what could be either my husband's or guides. I frequently have conversations with either my husband or guides and from what I have understand there is a distinct difference between "talking to yourself" and the voice of others. I believe, that when you hear the voice of others, you just know. My problem is that I interrupt the voice and we never finish the conversation.

I agree with mac which is why I continue to tell you to do more research on self communication. I believe it will help you immensely.
 

ShingingLight1967

Occasional Contributor
Didn't someone here suggest using a 'self-guided course'?

Yup.. Craig Hogan's self guided contact, which is free. There are others as well. Julia Assante has self guided advice in her book, James Van Praughn has a course on self guided contact. There are probably several others that I dont know about, free or not.

From the ones I have read/heard about, they all take work on our part. It's not a passive exercise, it is something that you must be actively involved with. Maybe that is my problem, that I dont really set apart the time nor the effort to communicate with him.
 

mac

Administrator
That's the one I'd been thinking about but wasn't sure I remembered correctly....

As with most new learning, much time and effort probably need to be given and many don't have much time and may also not have the emotional and physical stamina.

Additionally, and I am speaking totally in ignorance of how the course pans out, I'd imagine that working by yourself, presumably with no-one to help and support and no-one to corroborate/check your results, could be tough going - especially so when you're still grieving.

But I emphasise those are purely my thoughts and I have no knowledge or experience of the course.
 
U

Unexpected

I haven't tried the other self-guided connections mentioned, but Craig will help you. You provide him feedback and he works with you to let you know what you need to adjust to allow the unfoldments to occur. Timewise, in the beginning, I would spend about 2 hours total. This is from beginning to end - getting relaxed, starting the meditation, and completing the journal. Now I spend a little over 1 hour. Finding time to work on it can be challenging because of my very busy and active life but, it's worth it to me. Best wishes to anyone who heads in that direction.
 

ShingingLight1967

Occasional Contributor
Additionally, and I am speaking totally in ignorance of how the course pans out, I'd imagine that working by yourself, presumably with no-one to help and support and no-one to corroborate/check your results, could be tough going - especially so when you're still grieving.

mac this is SPOT ON! and the best way to describe it. I can only speak for myself, but I think that is why I have expressed doubt about my experiences and why I have been to 3 different mediums, for validation of what I have been experiencing have been real.

And for me, I know that I felt that even after having such experiences either signs or a reading, it would lift me for a day and then I would come crashing back down hard with grief. It made me feel like I was just moving backwards and starting all over again with the acceptance that my husband is no longer here in body. I think where my brain was/is at that it gave me too much hope that I would see him-soon, and when that didnt happen, it would throw me into dark pit that I struggled to get out of for weeks.

I know that these experiences are to be comforting, but in all reality for me, they pushed me deeper into despair and grief. (I dont know if that makes total sense)

I literally had to put it away for awhile. I literally had to put any attempts at reaching him on the back burner until I can come to terms that he is not going to walk back through my front door. For me, I think I needed to work on the first reality before I could attempt to work on assimilating anything new with this subject.
 

DenverGuy

Active Member
I long to hear this from him as well. The silence is crippling me and as hard as I try to remain positive and lean on the love we shared, I can't keep the fears away. I'm quickly reaching the point where I might give up. Not because I don't love him because I do, more than anything, but because I feel forgotten by him. I know that we are told that isn't the case but actions speak louder than words and so many people around me are receiving signs. If I'm truly honest with myself, I will admit that something is obviously wrong.

What your psychologist said is very interesting though. Definitely something to think about.

I kind of believe that the thoughts were (are) mine, but I sometimes wonder. Maybe I'm just being overly optimistic when I think that they are from her.

I know what you mean about the silence, and I feel for you. Same here. From what I understand, the silence doesn't mean that they don't want to communicate with you, but they can't for some reason. I seriously doubt that you are forgotten about by him, but I understand your concern, and I feel your anguish from your words. From what I understand he loves you the same as before and is aware of your pain.

I wonder if anyone here can shed some light on this.
 

bluebird

Major Contributor
First off... DenverGuy, Milihanna and bluebird... I apologize for overstepping and speaking for you with my assumptions. I assumed, that being new to this world as I still am, that the infighting is distracting to the answers that you seek. It's hard enough to find answers that resonate with you and the excess noise I believe distracts from that.

Second.. mac, I respect you more than you know. I believe you provide much wisdom and a different voice for consideration. Thank you. I didnt mean to pop off, and it seemed that you were trying to corral the situation, unfortunately there were too many postings that seemed combative, which I, in my humble opinion, takes can put off people who are here desperately looking for answers.

DenverGuy.. This is what I say to you in my experience. After my sittings with the mediums, readings and research, I have been working on trying to understand better what is my voice and what could be either my husband's or guides. I frequently have conversations with either my husband or guides and from what I have understand there is a distinct difference between "talking to yourself" and the voice of others. I believe, that when you hear the voice of others, you just know. My problem is that I interrupt the voice and we never finish the conversation.

I agree with mac which is why I continue to tell you to do more research on self communication. I believe it will help you immensely.

No need to apologize to me. :) The infighting doesn't bother me as much as it does you -- in this case, I really don't even understand what the argument is about -- but you are correct when you say that I am "....looking and continue to look for evidence... concrete evidence that our loved ones survive death. We are broken and hurting and on a new path trying to find some absolute scrap of evidence that WE can trust and believe in that yes.. our loved ones survived".
 

DenverGuy

Active Member
No need to apologize to me. :) The infighting doesn't bother me as much as it does you -- in this case, I really don't even understand what the argument is about -- but you are correct when you say that I am "....looking and continue to look for evidence... concrete evidence that our loved ones survive death. We are broken and hurting and on a new path trying to find some absolute scrap of evidence that WE can trust and believe in that yes.. our loved ones survived".
Nailed it!
 

milahanna

Occasional Contributor
No need to apologize to me. :) The infighting doesn't bother me as much as it does you -- in this case, I really don't even understand what the argument is about -- but you are correct when you say that I am "....looking and continue to look for evidence... concrete evidence that our loved ones survive death. We are broken and hurting and on a new path trying to find some absolute scrap of evidence that WE can trust and believe in that yes.. our loved ones survived".

This!
 

milahanna

Occasional Contributor
I kind of believe that the thoughts were (are) mine, but I sometimes wonder. Maybe I'm just being overly optimistic when I think that they are from her.

I know what you mean about the silence, and I feel for you. Same here. From what I understand, the silence doesn't mean that they don't want to communicate with you, but they can't for some reason. I seriously doubt that you are forgotten about by him, but I understand your concern, and I feel your anguish from your words. From what I understand he loves you the same as before and is aware of your pain.

I wonder if anyone here can shed some light on this.

Regarding the silence, I think what makes it difficult for me, and I know that I shouldn't do this, is the fact that others get signs and some get them so quickly and easily. I read a lot of testimonies because right now it's all I care about and it helps me to believe that maybe we do live on. However, I often get sad now. I want what they have. I was reading a conversation between a few ladies the other day where their husbands/ex-boyfriends were showing them incredible signs. One felt him kiss her lips. It was all very sweet and I was happy for them, but here's the kicker...they had abusive relationships. The one with the boyfriend had broken up with him over abuse. The other one was being abused and both relationships involved a lot of anger, drugs etc. In both cases, the guys came through fairly soon after passing.

Now, I must say that I do believe that's beautiful. I was happy for them. Love and healing are what it's all about and these guys helped these women heal. I see that. However, I then sit back and wonder what's wrong with me and Thai then. We have been best friends for over 25 years. We didn't fight once. Crazy but true...not once. We cared about each other and loved each other. Why isn't he coming through? Why do I hear stories of people being visited by their boss or neighbor yet the love of my life can't get through? IDK but it just doesn't sound right.
 

bluebird

Major Contributor
milahanna,

I have the same sorts of concerns. I have had possible signs, but for me, without essentially constant reassurance, I cannot help but doubt. That is in part the result of the fact that my husband's continued existence and my desire/intent to join him are the most important thing in the universe to me, and probably also partly the result of my panic and OCD disorders, but in any case that is how it is. So you are not alone in wondering why you are not receiving signs. The things you wonder about those other women who have received signs are the same sorts of things I wonder about in terms of who has died -- that is, there are couples who didn't love each other, or who were abusive to each other, and yet they continue to live and be together, whereas my husband is a wonderful person (albeit imperfect, as we all are), he and I were and are deeply and completely in love, we had just gotten married when he died, and we wanted & planned to spend the rest of our lives together, and yet he is the one who has a massive fucking heart attack and dies, while those other people continue to live. There is no justice there.
 

DenverGuy

Active Member
I heard back from the medium I talked to a week ago. We have exchanged several e-mails. She is a good person, and wants to talk with me today. I don't like the "ALL of the relationships you’ve had over your lives together" part or anything that sounds like reincarnation. I wonder if she means that my girlfriend and I have had many relationships with each other. I would prefer that interpretation, if any.

The last sentence got my attention!

Any thoughts on this? She just sent it:

"In the meantime, – trust that she loves you very much. But try to understand that love for you or me is a human experience – with emotional and physical components. It’s is also tied in with ego and other aspects of self. For her, love is actually the energy she lives within – it’s much more profound. Deeper and broader, if you will. She sees you and experiences love for you through a lens that encompasses ALL of the relationships you’ve had over your lives together, and I don’t doubt there have been many. The way in which I experienced her energy is something I want to describe to you again on the phone—her peace, her compassion, her love is very light, pure, genuine. It’s different from the heart gripping emotion that we as humans feel. Let me be really clear here: that the nature of her love feels different doesn’t mean she loves you Iess; but rather MORE. She loves you soul to soul (ooh – just got full body tingles on that; she’s here with me (!) and just corrected what I was about to write, which was “loves you as a soul. ” She prefers “soul to soul.”)"
 
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Widdershins3

Active Member
Re: the very different experiences people have when consulting mediums--my tentative theory is that it may have a lot to do with the person being read for and/or for the medium's ability that day. 50 years ago in rural Western PA, I went to see a well-regarded local psychic medium and got an astoundingly evidential reading without a single fact being wrong. As a result of that, my mother and sister went to her and neither one had a good experience at all (no evidential information and predictions of the near future were way off). But in my case, every psychic prediction she made happened within the 2 years she'd specified.

And a year ago or so, at the Spiritualist Church I sometimes attend in San Francisco, I got a stunning reading from a British platform medium, a man, who got my deceased parents names (their nicknames, actually) precisely correct and described a new house in the family (my sister had just bought one) in detail. He said it was our parents showing it to him and added that they had resolved their differences and were now spending time together on the other side. Since they'd been bitterly separated for many years when they each died, that was pretty evidential too. (I'd never discussed my parents or their marital woes with anyone at the church, either, and that information isn't online anywhere)

But a year later the medium returned and I got a vague reading that I was unable to verify at all. My disappointment was immense.

So, I know for a fact that this guy is "for real" but his ability doesn't seem to be consistent, just like that first medium I saw so many years ago. I would love an explanation for this and also I wish there was a way for us to know in advance if a professional we're about to pay serious money to will actually be able to connect with our loved ones on the Other Side. Is their ability to connect partially dependent on the sitter's mental/emotional state? Does it just vary with their own mindset that particular day/hour? Does anyone with more experience of mediums have their own theory on what's going on...or NOT going on when we sit for a reading?
 

DenverGuy

Active Member
Widdershins3, those are really good questions. I have asked the same thing. A few months ago I paid for a one-hour session with a medium but the results were bizarre and distressing. We stayed on the phone for a good hour and a half. She then refunded my money. I have had this happen several times. I don't know why they don't just say that they're not getting anywhere and just end the session for now.

I am asking a good medium about that right now and will report back tonight.
 

milahanna

Occasional Contributor
It's so frustrating. I get something different every time. They all pick up on how he died but then the rest varies so much. I have been told that he is in paradise, at a healing facility, and yesterday that he's earthbound. So, I really don't have a clue where he is.
 

milahanna

Occasional Contributor
milahanna,

I have the same sorts of concerns. I have had possible signs, but for me, without essentially constant reassurance, I cannot help but doubt. That is in part the result of the fact that my husband's continued existence and my desire/intent to join him are the most important thing in the universe to me, and probably also partly the result of my panic and OCD disorders, but in any case that is how it is. So you are not alone in wondering why you are not receiving signs. The things you wonder about those other women who have received signs are the same sorts of things I wonder about in terms of who has died -- that is, there are couples who didn't love each other, or who were abusive to each other, and yet they continue to live and be together, whereas my husband is a wonderful person (albeit imperfect, as we all are), he and I were and are deeply and completely in love, we had just gotten married when he died, and we wanted & planned to spend the rest of our lives together, and yet he is the one who has a massive fucking heart attack and dies, while those other people continue to live. There is no justice there.

It doesn't make any sense, Bluebird. I may be sounding selfish or even childish but why do they get to experience that connection through the veil and those of us who had a good loving relationship can't?
 

bluebird

Major Contributor
It doesn't make any sense, Bluebird. I may be sounding selfish or even childish but why do they get to experience that connection through the veil and those of us who had a good loving relationship can't?

You don't sound selfish or childish to me. The death of my husband, and the resulting separation of he and I (even if there is an afterlife which would mean it's a temporary separation) is the worst anguish of my soul and my life, and it's probably like that for you as well. It's not that I wish those other couples weren't still together -- I really don't care if they are or not -- it's that I wish that my husband were still here in this life, as he should be, so that he and I could be together. To me, the way things have turned out makes it very clear to me that there cannot be a loving god. If there were, at the very least that god would make it so that there would be no doubt, in the mind of anyone who has had her/his soulmate die, that there is an afterlife where our soulmates are happy, are still themselves, and are waiting for us, where we will be together again.
 

DenverGuy

Active Member
Widdersshins3, I heard back from the medium, and here's what she said: (The "train" reference was for the Royal Gorge Train - a tourist train in Colorado that she had taken me on).

As for on/off days for mediums – that is absolutely true. And it’s possible it could have been such for me, but I was rested, not stressed, feeling very up when we began and the beginning of the reading was unfolding fairly typically. The pattern I find, when things go awry, is often tied to the emotional state and/or expectations of the client that the interpretations be exact to the reality. When so much information comes in visually, and Spirit uses a lot of symbols and the knowledge in my own head, it’s not always exact. They try to get me to say something by showing me a specific image. For example, the train. What I actually saw was a train with an open top. That tells me it’s either in an amusement park, like a ride, or for sightseeing like in a zoo, because that’s my experience, and therefore how I interpret it. That the real train was a sightseeing train that may have been enclosed on a mountain side – makes no real difference. It was a pleasure ride, and not a travel/business ride. I’ve never been on such a train, so had they shown me the real train, I might not have understood to be a sightseeing train. Make sense? So – my words and interpretation were somewhat off, but Mila was getting the intent across. We need a bit of flexibility in the interpretation, so I hope that’s helpful. Try to stay open to variations that basically have the same intent of communication. Ask yourself, “what could she mean by that?”
 

ShingingLight1967

Occasional Contributor
I'm going to chime in here, and tell you about my experiences with the mediums.

The three readings I have had, the information that came through did not vary widely. They were fairly accurate and they all got his personality accurately, two brought through some of the issues we were having prior to his passing, two came through and knew exactly what his passions were in life, etc.

But what every medium told me was that they were given images from their life experiences that convey what spirit is trying to get across. It probably wont be a direct hit on what we are looking for, but spirit is trying to get an overall picture to the medium to give to us. Just what the medium was telling you with the train DenverGuy.

I think we go in at times expecting almost a verbal communication between our loved ones and the medium and so why wouldnt the medium be getting the information correct? I mean, they are in direct communication.. they should know?!

But I have discovered it doesnt work that way.. they werent in our lives, they dont know our experiences, and what it actually is, is a big game of telephone and they are trying their best to get it right.

I found that if I just let go of expectations, understand that whoever comes through comes through, and just be good with it, it seems to work better. I also think asking for clarity, for more information helps. I have had to do that, and the information became clearer.

This is just my experience.
 
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