Difficult life experiences and lessons - we absolutely can grow from them

poeticblue

member
Difficult life experiences and lessons do equal spiritual growth.. to an extent.

We've all heard the saying that it's not about what we go through. Rather, it's what we take from it. That saying holds so much truth to it that I cannot emphasize enough that what we go through in life does not define us. Its our actions in how we deal with things that define who we are.

If you are an addict. Ok. Most of us have one form of addiction or another. Food, social media, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.... the list goes on and on. But it is not these human disorders that define our souls. It's how we deal with these human disorders that define who we truly are. Who we truly are deals with soul development. It needs to be said that soul development is not a race and who gets quickest to the finish line. In fact the soul who believes that still has a lot of growing up to do.

Good news is that it may take years, decades, (or if you believe) multiple lifetimes to learn and grow from ailment. In no way shape or form do I believe that I have had only 1 life of mental ailments. That just simply wouldn't make sense at least to me. Where did it all come from? And the severity surely had nothing to to do with just my father. Even when things were good as a child, I still thought about suicide and not wanting to be here. Things just never felt right to me being here. Yes, even when I was happy I still felt displaced.

So how did I deal with all of this? The only way I knew that I could without hurting anyone else. Alcohol. I thought at first that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. I still held down a job, my daughter was happy, had our own house..no real issues with relationships. In fact, I had a lot of men in my life but was close to only two who are still my friends till this day (I had to back out of marriage which I will save for another day when its raining). But think about what I just said. In my head equating the quantity of men in my life meant no problems. Holding down a job and owning my own residency equals success right? Daughter doing very well in school. Well lets party. Fact of the matter is everything around me was great but inside I was deteriorating. I was never truly dealing with things that I knew I had to handle (which was my drinking) because I was having a lot of dreams and intuitional thoughts that soon my luck was about to run out... and it did.

I was not being a strong person with my actions of drinking and still justifying it by saying I have a job and a happy daughter. I was being an absolute coward. I was afraid to deal with the issues that I still knew I needed to face. Going through difficult experiences in life dont mean anything unless we grow from them. I was not growing at all. I'm too afraid to go back and review some threads but I did share with some that I ended up in a Dui program which was the ultimate rock bottom that I had it. I had to give up the alcohol for good which is something that I thought I could never do. I felt ashamed.. defeated... I thought all my hard work as a single mom and a spiritual adviser was down the drain. I felt like an impostor.

Getting emotional will post more soon. Need a break.
 
Hello Poetic,

Thankyou for your post. Very interesting read that I can relate to. I'm new to this forum and I realise that this reply is about 3 months after the original post date.

Firstly- let me tell you at the time of writing this I am over 4 years sober after great difficulty of putting down my last drink. It took a long battle to achieve this, over 5 years including overcoming some I call spiritual hurdles or lessins, 'overcoming denial', 'admitting a recognising powerlessness after my first drink' 'recognising that it no longer soothed the edge after a hard day (every 2nd or 3rd day minimum)' to finally recognising I was on a lonely path to insanity and poor mental health.

I'm here healthy today and will happily share with anybody my journey.

Ben
 

mac

Administrator
welcome to ALF :)

My cousin has just celebrated 10 years sober after 27 years of drinking to paralytic excess and suffering considerable physical damage to his health.

Well done you for staying the course and my very best wishes for the future. I would be interested to hear what you've battled at a spiritual level during those times.
 

bluebird

Major Contributor
Congrats to all of you in recovery -- it's not an easy path, and you should be proud of your will, fortitude, and success.
 
welcome to ALF :)

My cousin has just celebrated 10 years sober after 27 years of drinking to paralytic excess and suffering considerable physical damage to his health.

Well done you for staying the course and my very best wishes for the future. I would be interested to hear what you've battled at a spiritual level during those times.
Thanks Mac.

In terms of spiritual experiences- had the sudden loss of both parents, first when I was 8, second when I was 19. Drove into a state of uncertainty, anger, insecurity and all other negative emotions.

I found alcohol at first to be the first form of 'relief' if you like from those negative emotions. It is only a temporary self induced illusion or distraction, as most additions are. It becomes problematic when the 'vice' no longer serves to provide that 'relief' as was the case in October 2014 when I needed it after a critical incident at work.. this was the catalyst of the beginning to look within and recognise I needed help. I had to accept that I no longer had any control over my drinking no matter how hard I tried.. onceI accepted this, I was able to see ot for what it was and begin the steps to give it up.

I've had to transform my attitude in order to find more healthier measures to cope positively - meditation, eating better, exercising, gratitude, slowing down, focusing on helping myself and others.

Cheers

Ben
 
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