Why do you wish you hadn't? I'm still thrilled to bits a whole year later, yet live in dread of it happening again in case of seeing the face! The expression would just devastate me, and the mere idea of it has kept me awake and trembling beneath the covers each time my husband has been away for a year now. (That won't happen again as he's retiring within the month as coming up to age sixty! Yes, I do know how silly I've been!) Then again, did I somehow for that reason choose not to see the top of the body, in the same way I only saw it once, thereby keeping it special? Did I just see what I wanted to see?
I read the comments beneath an online site where people who had seen apparitions sensibly put the blame on normal explanations. Why was that not my reaction? I get occasional migraines with aura. The aura is obviously still there when you move your head. This apparition of my son: First if all I addressed it as I thought it was my husband home early, such was the strong sense of presence, turned towards it, then followed it with my vision, as it bent over me wearing chinos and a plaid shirt! Surely a grief hallucination, which is the psychiatric explanation, can't always be the answer eighteen months from the death, or even years afterwards? I know there are no answers but just in case someone out there has any ideas.
Ruby, my apology for the late response to your post. Perhaps I ought to begin by letting you know that I was raised in a family where religion was not discussed much and even less practiced. I was baptized "to keep the rest of the family quiet" - as my mother once told me. I grew up agnostic and, later, as I progressed through my medical studies, atheist. I was my belief that once you die, that's it, the camera lens closes, show is over, oblivion; nothing else. The soul leaving the body? Silly. Animals surviving their physical death? Ludicrous! At the top of my specialty (at that time it was neuropsychiatry, which eventually split into the more distinct specialties of psychiatry and neurology) I had a bit of the arrogant "expert" attitude. Today, at times I feel a bit embarrassed, but I suppose I could see it as the way things were meant to unfold. I will share with you two apparitions. I will later share a couple of veridical experiences.
One evening I was sitting in my dining room going over some papers. I was quite involved with my paperwork, but suddenly I felt as if "something" wasn't quite right. I shrugged off the feeling and continued with my work. Eventually, my attention was caught by a light between the dining room door and one of the halls. I looked straight at it and could not believe my eyes. A young man who had died a year or two before was standing there looking at me and smiling. I felt unable to speak (a rare occurrence for me!) and just looked, trying to think of some rational explanation for the vision. His entire figure looked as if covered by thousands of tiny lights. The body looked solid enough but what caught my attention in particular was that the light(s) was not static, it/they was/were energized. He said something to me (I prefer not to say), but his lips did not move. All I said during the encounter was his name, was still trying to explain to myself how I could explain it all "logically". I wasn't able to do so.
The second experience I'm sharing with you is the apparition of my German shepherd dog. Of all our dogs, I had a very special bond with her; in my eyes, in my opinion, she was the best of the best. A couple of weeks or more since her death, I was in my bedroom reading a magazine. I hear my 2 dogs (a Rottweiler and a Heinz 57) getting a bit too excited playing somewhere in the hall or foyer; so I told them to settle down. They did, but only for seconds, and then they started up again. I got annoyed, and headed to the hall to give them "a good talking to". Well, what I saw stopped me in my tracks. In the hall, facing the grandfather clock, was my beloved GSD. She was looking at me, tongue sticking out, looked like she did when in her prime, even better actually. It's as if she was showing off how wonderful she looked, finally free of her painful arthritis. I called out her name, she was wagging her tail, looking so happy, sassy, full of health (I'm getting emotional as I type this, so many years later!). I walked toward her, hoping to touch her, but she slowly vanished. I was unable to explain the apparition, I was not thinking about her, I was not reading anything even remotely associated with any of this. Her entire body was covered in what looked like brilliant frost as if thousands of tiny white lights covered her. The lights surrounding the apparition of the young man looked exactly like the lights covering my beloved GSD. Unless some yet-to-be-discovered neural circuitry was at play in both instances, I failed in my repeated attempts to explain these events.