I've been reading this thread to see if I ever posted the following extraordinary story.
It was told on the Lincoln ghost walk. Stories told on these tours are not usually of this nature. The tour leader said that a middle-aged man had approached her as she was leading a tour group and said that he had been driving his car along a quiet country road when he looked in the rear view mirror and for a second or two saw sitting in the back seat a school friend who had died as a child. The shock caused him to pull to a stop which probably saved his life, as a lorry had swerved across the road in front of him out of sight around the next bend.
A friend gave me a book called "Raising Faith" by Claire Waters which I found a worthwhile read. The writer's daughter Faith reported seeing apparitions in the house from the age of four and her younger brother was discovered to have the same ability. It seems to have been the matter of fact manner the daughter spoke about what she was seeing that made her mother pay attention. Parents know that when young children play their games are always changing, but the child was consistent in her reporting and she hasn't grown out of it now at the age of twelve. The writer accepted her daughter was experiencing visits from dead grandparents and sometimes strangers and she then delved straight into studying and developing her own psychic ability, and learning everything she could about the spirit world, which she readily accepts exists. Her husband thinks there must be a more ordinary explanation for what's going on. The writer was concerned and frightened for her children at the beginning but accepted that since Faith sleeps through the night despite saying spirit people are in her bedroom, there didn't seem to be any reason for immediate concern. It's a short read at about a hundred pages and I'd have been happy to read a lot more from this author. She came across as a really wonderful mother, and she writes well. One little fun story:- the family are at the fun fair, sitting waiting for a rollercoaster to start. The writer asks her daughter if any spirit people are sitting in the carriages alongside them. The daughter replies there aren't, but as the ride starts she says they have jumped onboard. "They wait for the empty seats!" I probably over think these things I know, but I'd have thought with the seeming ability to zip about and materialise and disappear at will, a fairground ride wouldn't really do a lot for a spirit person!
"Nearing the End of Life. A Guide for Relatives and Friends of the Dying" by Sue Brayne and Dr Peter Fenwick.
This short publication has been distributed to hospices here in the UK. It can be downloaded from the internet and has helpful advice for those in this situation. It is interesting that it has information on near-death experiences which can include seeing apparitions, and it states that they are far from rare, and this information is out there in the mainstream. I expect a lot of people, if not most, will be startled to read this kind of thing. Many will rationalise it away as an adaptation of the mind to help the dying, but some cases of this phenomenon involve others nearby, who are able to see what the dying person can see, which is naturally difficult to explain normally. The authors don't claim any spiritual or afterlife beliefs in the booklet.
I saw Dr Fenwick on a Zoom lecture recently and his advice is that when we are in the hospice situation, we approach death with curiosity. He really stressed the curiosity. We have to let go of everything material and the whole here and now and the process will be easier.
Something occurred me after I wrote above about Dr Peter Fenwick's advice to approach death with curiosity and let go of everything material. The parapsychologist Lloyd Auerbach investigated a haunting case in the 1980's which is discussed in Lesley Kean's book, "Surviving Death", the one which became the Netflix series. There is some information online about this case, which is exceptional in that the family involved, specifically the young boy, seemed able to get verifiable information from the ghost. Lois, her name was, had always lived in the house and had a lifetime of not enough church and a lot of partying. She thought this might not bode well for her, so when she felt herself slipping away in the hospital she concentrated very hard on her home, and ended up back there, where she was content and she liked the new family who moved in. Apparently she was still there years later in the early 2000's as the owners would still get the odd glimpse of her, long after the boy had grown up and moved away. Such an interesting story. I must buy one of Lloyd Auerbach's books but I refuse to get them from Amazon. Even the sight of their vast, hideous warehouses is depressing, so I'll go to my local bookshop to order one. Anyway, it seems that the advice to approach death with curiosity if we are physically able and conscious would be worth taking, so we don't limit our horizons, whatever they might prove to be!!
I meant to read the book "Hallucinations" by Oliver Sacks and have now read the pages which deal with bereavement. From what I see, he doesn't include cases which are hard to explain, which of course is the usual criticism. Nor can I find any of these cases on a quick search through the rest of it. There is no mention of joint experiences, for example. And no mention of so-called crisis after death communications, where the ADC happened before the experient was told about the death by normal means.
This seems strange as they are not uncommon. A survey of ADC's was carried out between 2018 and 2020 by Evelyn Elsaesser and colleagues (results online under EE's name) amongst English, French and Spanish speakers and detailed accounts were obtained from a description of the participants' most important ADC and 194 questions. 1,004 completed questionnaires were received and 20.7% of these reported ADC's were the crisis sort.