• A resource for those seeking a greater understanding of survival and what follows death.

Afterlife fears


Occasional Contributor
If you're into books and if you're likely to be interested in what one of our members late son had to say about his passing, then "Flying High in Spirit" is well worth considering. I read it when first published, gave my copy away only to buy a second copy some time later so I could read it again!

His account worked for me and as you'll see if you read more of the Carol and Mikey thread I often quizzed and challenged what he had to say in reply to members' questions and also my own.
It sounds well worth a read. I'll look out for a copy on Amazon.:)

Ben’s Mum

Occasional Contributor
The Spiritual Truth Foundation organised its re-print and I believe they sell it from their address. I'm talking about the Maurice Barbanell book.
Yes, that is the only place I could purchase it. Shipping took a while as it was coming from the U.K. to Canada. Great book.
Hey all. I’m not sure if this thread is active but i’ll post anyway.
I’ve recently lost my grandfather and I was okay initially but the more it’s brewed. I have become very anxious and almost depressed about the afterlife. More specifically about reincarnation and a person’s individuality.
I’ve seen mediums do readings about how they can see a face and personality (humor, mannerisms, etc) but alot of them mention reincarnation and to me the idea of that sounds horrible and terrifying. I’m under the impression that when and if we do reincarnate, we lose all memory and connections with all the people we once loved in our lives. Frankly I don’t think we do reincarnate but a part of me is saying it’s true because of how much I see it. People seem to so casually talk about living again as if these connections meant nothing to them and it’s just another random bunch of individuals to help on their journey. One thing that keeps me positive is that many reputable/ talented Mediums always mention the afterlife and how we have roles, jobs and many things to do as well as learn whilst we are there. So what is the need to reincarnate every time? I always want to have that mother son connection with my mum, cousin to cousin connection with my family members and even my best friends. To think we would throw all that out the window just to live on this hell again is so anxiety riddling to me - Especially when I think of my grandpa but as like all these, Reincarnation is just a theory. Though Mikey (in spirit) has talked about it and how our connections remain, I want to think that we are only here) once and grow on that plane (a perspective I’d love to adopt confidently) but its hard to when so many others seems to almost guarantee reincarnation. Makes me feel like loving anyone is pointless.
I apologise for the lengthy message but I saw there are some intelligible individuals here with wisdom on the topic. I’m 24 so I’m still finding my feet but have definitely reached a low point for sure. Especially seeing the state my family is in has affected me and to see us all supporting eachother makes me love the people I was blessed with here even more.
Thank you


Significant Contributor

Welcome to ALF. The site is nowhere near as active as it once was, but there are still a few of us here who do post, read, and comment.

I'm sorry for your loss of your grandfather. I definitely understand being very anxious and depressed about the afterlife, reincarnation, maintaining individuality, etc.

So that you know where I'm coming from, I should state that I am agnostic, verging on atheist, both in terms of the existence of god and the existence of an afterlife. I don't know if either exists, though I very much hope at least an afterlife (a good one) does exist, so that my husband and I (and eventually our other loved ones) will be reunited; the possible existence of a god is somewhat less important to me. By no means am I any kind of expert on these matters, so everything I say is basically my opinion.

I saw a medium about 8 months or so after my husband died (that timing is approximate; my husband died 11.5 years ago, so I may be off by a bit regarding the visit with the medium). I'm not sure if she really communicated with my husband and relayed what he said to me, though I do think it's possible (she mentioned some very specific things, and the only information she had on me, all she asked for and all I provided, was my first name). At the very least, I don't think she was scamming me -- I do believe that she believed in the truth of what she was doing. She died a few years ago herself, but if you want to read anything about her, her name was Janet Nohavec. The reading with Janet did bring me some peace, at least for a while, because it felt real.

As far as reincarnation -- if it does exist, and I think it might, in my opinion it's something we each get to choose whether or not we want to participate in, whether once or more than once. If we do choose it and if we do lose our memory of loved ones, I think that's a temporary thing, and something to which we agree before doing it. I'm guessing that if reincarnation is really a thing, most likely some people choose to do it a lot, some people choose to do it once or twice, and some people choose to never do it.

I understand what you mean about wanting to always have the mother-son connection with your mum, etc. -- maintaining the relationship you had with each person in this life. I feel the same way, particularly when it comes to my husband -- I want us to always be husband and wife. I think we can be, if that's what we want. Regardless -- loving is never pointless, in my opinion.