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Why do some people get signs from beyond and others not?

Discussion in 'After-Death Communication' started by katarina, Jul 27, 2015.

  1. katarina

    katarina New Member

    This is something that I've often wondered about- why do some people get confirmation of someone they've lost and other people get nothing? I've read many stories about people who have had signs from beyond. The signs can come in many forms: meaningful dreams, events that happen in their home, familiar smells (eg. scent of flowers, perfume or pipe), etc. They may go to a medium and then get told info that is very meaningful, that could only be about or have come from the deceased.

    How come other people though, get nothing? Nada? My dad died over thirty years ago and I haven't gotten one sign. Nothing. Well actually, after his death I had some dreams about him, but the unfortunate thing is that a few of the dreams were actually more like nightmares, certainly none were comforting in the least. Have seen mediums (when I was younger) and no word. Same with my husband, who lost his dad to cancer many years ago also (he is not a believer in any of this, so it comes as no surprise to him). I know many people who also have had no validation.
    So, why do some people get signs, visitations, and other people nothing? I mean, it's been thirty years for me, and not one thing (and I have asked!). I am open minded about life after death- receiving some type of validation would make a world of difference.
  2. tradingdavid

    tradingdavid New Member

    I think it has to do with life plans and such and what the individual needs.
    If this is a designed reality and each individual has different needs and objectives then consistency is not necessarily expected, just like with NDE's

    It might also have to do with degree of relationship and relative pain. The most common relationship to have some sort of signs seems to be parents who lost a child.
  3. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    Hi Katarina,

    Welcome to the forums! This is a question asked often I feel. Why is it? Sometimes emotions with grieving can pull us down too far. My son passed over in a SUV accident 7 and a half years ago. He continues to send signs. My parents who have passed since then, not as much. I agree with what Tradingdavid says. Also it is about openness on our part, and ability on their part I think. The other thing I know is signs can be more subtle, and we need to think outside the box to get it sometimes. The message may be a bit hidden. Doubting what you think may be a sign can close the door a bit as well. It can be frustrating. I want to tell you about a sign a received from my grandpa 25 years after his passing as a "thinking outside the box " example.

    I was fishing in Canada with my hubby and friends on Lake of the Woods. We are in a boat with no others around, fishing for walleyes. I said out loud, "When I was young, my grandpa and I always fished with corn. I know if he sent me some corn, I would catch some major fish, maybe the biggest fish! Gramp I need corn!" I said this more than once. Well, everyone laughed . About a half hour later, this boat shows up trolling by us slowly and it was a yellow - orange color. As it passed us, my friend says, "Check out the name of the boat. It's the Corncob!!!!!" Sure enough, on the back of the boat was the name Corncob! Then my friend said, "Your Gramp not only sent you corn, he sent the whole darn cob!!" We all laughed. That day I caught the biggest fish! How crazy is that! My point with sharing this is that we need to be aware of other ways they can get the job done. It can be outside the box! :)

    Dreamsurfer likes this.
  4. katarina

    katarina New Member

    Thank you both for your replies. I take on board what you are saying. Yes, in the beginning the pain was intense but then time went on and it subsided (as mentioned, it's now been over thirty years). I can say that in the past I feel I have been open. Yes, I think that's the frustrating part - when you feel that you're open and willing but you just don't get anything! It was because of this that I turned away from spirituality and all things to do with it for a long time, becoming an atheist in fact. Now, I am back to searching and seeking again, being open minded but with a healthy skepticism.
    I do like your example above, Carol! I see what you're saying about being outside the box. I am reading through the thread with you and Mikey now (what an extraordinary relationship you have with him from beyond!).
  5. janef

    janef Moderator

    Hello Katarina,
    You have a good question, and I agree with the other responses. It seems for me it didn't happen until I was really open to believing it. (no skepticism) I had my 'encounter' with the afterlife realm so I had no doubts. Have you tried a Medium reading?
  6. katarina

    katarina New Member

    Hi janef- Back in the day, the first ten years after my dad died, I did go to mediums (and psychics) now and then. But no, nothing really came through that was affirming. It's been a long time now since I've been to one. I would definitely go if I could find one around where I live or through the internet that I thought was legit. One thing that put me off some of the ones I've researched online were the prices they charged- I have no problem with someone charging for their services but I thought some of the fees too high. I'm still not completely convinced that the after life and things related (god/reincarnation) are true; my beliefs have changed a lot throughout the years, from complete believer to atheist believing in nada. Now, I would say I am open minded and lean towards believing. You are fortunate then to have had an 'encounter'!
  7. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I've wondered about this issue for many years....

    I haven't had personal, definitive evidence yet after what I have experienced I'm not a skeptic or a disbeliever. Thankfully I found many of my answers 30 years ago yet I encounter folk who have desperately looked for their own and not found them. Mine worked OK for me but others are often in different situations. Maybe sometimes we simply don't need what we're looking for but somehow can't see that?

    After thirty years I am certain only about the situation for me and certain that I know only a smidgin about anything. :)
  8. janef

    janef Moderator

    Sorry, I thought I answered this... but it somehow dissapeared. (?) I have had validations with one medium. The first time over 15 years ago one said my father was near death and he lived another 15 years! I agree that most of the fees are quite expensive, especially if there is no guarantee you will make a connection. I have a medium that I have used who only charges $90 hr. and 1/2 hr. for $45. She has been 100% validating for me. (with accurate names 3 times) If interested you can check out her website: terrijay.com

    * Terri thinks it's unconscionable when people are given gifts and then charge outrageous fees when others are in need of healing. And, her readings are not by the minute. Terri feels it's important to relay whatever messages are coming through and there is no "time" on the other side.

    She discovered her gift when she was able to communicate with horses.. Alzheimers patients and disabled children.
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2015
  9. frith

    frith Member

    I wish I knew myself.

    My mother claims to have seen her father (my maternal grandfather) at the moment of his death standing in a black void. She says he looked as he normally did in life and was dressed in the same clothes. She said he told her to take care of her mother and then disappeared.

    I didn't experience what she did. Much like you, Katarina, I had a dream or two about my grandfather, but nothing that felt like some type of actual communication to me. I was only 13 at time, but I don't think that should make a difference. 25 years later I still haven't had such an experience and I've had many other relatives and friends who were close to me and would want to talk to me die.

    If these communications are real I imagine it has to do with the person on the other side deciding to make contact, or maybe some break some type of afterlife rule to make such contacts. In any case its too rare and random to know.

    I am not one to subscribe to the reality of psychics either.
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2015
  10. katarina

    katarina New Member

    Thanks Janef- I'll look into Terri (I live in the UK and work evenings at times so phoning can be difficult but thanks for passing that on).

    Mac- you're fortunate then that you've found your answers. In regards to needing/not needing an answer, who decides that? What criteria would you have to fall under to need/ not need an answer? I think this is what is frustrating- if we are all souls having this spiritual experience and there is an after life, it just would be reassuring and helpful to know that; it could help a lot of us greatly in our spiritual journeys, make a difference how we view and live life.

    Frith- have you ever been to a medium(s) yourself? Not a psychic, but a medium?
  11. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Only we individually get to decide what's right for us individually and it's solely for us individually to decide what criteria we apply to our personal situations. I understand your frustration. There are many issues that can be frustrating as we struggle to understand what's going on. There doesn't seem to be a 'best way' of resolving those frustrations. I can't disagree with your sentiments and can only assume that the way things are for us is the way they're intended to be as we make our spiritual odyssey. If we knew what you've very reasonably suggested it might make a very significant difference to the way we would behave but in turn that might significantly diminish whatever value life here may have.

    Perhaps, though - just perhaps - we experience fewer frustrations on subsequent returns to this world as we become more experienced and familiar with life in-the-body, always assuming one accepts the premise of multiple lives (reincarnation)
  12. frith

    frith Member

    No. I consider psychics the same things as mediums in any case. If there is a difference one claims to talk to the dead and one does not, but both allege to use some type of supernatural psychic power to achieve their claims.

    That's not to say I'm a total skeptic. Some people have reported knowing when a friend or family member dies right at the moment of death. I think if psychic power is real its rare, random, and relegated mostly to people who actually know each other. I just don't think you can just pay somebody and have them do something like this that otherwise seems like it requires a more intimate bond to experience.
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2015
  13. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    If you haven't already done this may I suggest you consider making a few visits to local Spiritualist churches or centres to see their regular visiting mediums? There is, of course, no certainty that any of them would be able to bring you the evidence of survival you've been seeking but it's a comparatively inexpensive route to try and in the process you may find information that's of interest and/or help.

    Here in the UK there's a widespread network of churches so there may be a number within easy driving distance. (dependent on where you live, of course) It's worth trying a couple to see if one appeals over another and you may also find out about mediums who offer individual sittings for a moderate charge. On a personal level I'm unpersuaded of the value of psychics in terms of evidence - and I do differentiate between psychics and mediums. ;)
  14. jfleegs

    jfleegs New Member

    It is interesting, When you beg and plead for something it doesn't seem to happen, but out of no where you will get something. I heard somwhere about a random thought or memory of that person is them sending you signs. I completely believe that, so much so that I laugh out loud when I get a thought or memory from my girlfriend, because its mostly a joke, just like we always did when she was alive.

    I think you have to be completely open to it. For example I've had clear dreams instantly after the loss of my grandma and one of my good friends. But my girlfriend who I spent every day talking to, I wasnt getting any dreams like that. I first had bad dreams with her in them and mostly part of my crazy madness dreams, not clear at all. But over time I got closer and closer to having a dream with her that was good and clear. It was almost like I couldn't see her without myself freaking out and changing the dream to something terrifying because it was so traumatic to me. But just last night I had a dream Ive been waiting for. We were sitting on a couch and talking then i remembered she was dead so I asked and she goes I'm completely fine. And then I checked her head and she was as beautiful as I remembered and I started to cry with happiness. We hugged and we laughed and she told me she didn't remember any of it she just woke up and she was fine. It felt like it was real and she was sitting right next to me, and her dying was just a horrible dream, and I was awake now in this dream.
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2015
    milahanna likes this.
  15. janef

    janef Moderator

    That is a beautiful experience you had jfleegs, thanks for sharing it. And I agree with you about being open to it and belieiving.... it has worked for me! :)
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2015
  16. jfleegs

    jfleegs New Member

    Thank you Janef, it took awhile for my doubts to fade. But I know now that she is here with me when I need her, and its just something i dont fight with doubt anymore. You can feel it in your heart.
  17. amina89

    amina89 Member

    My grandma died 12 years ago,just recently she contacted me

    My other grandma died 6 years ago,i had a few dreams but i am not sure it was contact since i thought about her around the period i had the dreams
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2015
  18. Flossie

    Flossie Member

    I too have found that I have contacts or evidences when I am not expecting or thinking about the person/animal. I wonder why it is that when we ask and are desperate to see or hear from loved ones that we often don't receive it at that time. Though I suppose I have had feelings of comfort I can't really explain at those times. Maybe it is like I have often read, that when we are so upset spirit find it difficult to penetrate our negative energies?

    I am still having trouble within myself since my mum died as I didn't expect it to be like this and was not prepared for the physical loss. I do find it hard to accept that her presence now will be in dreams/sensing/coincidences. Maybe it's because throughout those 56 years I saw her just about every day and she was a major part of my daily life. It wasn't like we lived away from each other and I had a career which took up a lot of my life. I do accept it was her time and she was more than ready to be away from here. That part is a relief for both of us as she suffered so much. But accepting her physical being is difficult to get my head around and unless I think deeply it is quite easy to feel that when you're gone you're gone. I just wish I had that total certainty that some of you do in here. Though I am grateful for the amount of belief I do have, that's for sure.
  19. poeticblue

    poeticblue Moderator

    Hello Flossie. Nice to see you posting :eek:

    Often grief which is of a physical nature, may block spiritual energy from coming through. Our guides and deceased loved ones are constantly trying to reach out to us on a daily basis. However earths vibration frequency is extremely low in comparison to the spirit realm. So spirits residing on the 'other side' have to lower their vibration level on a constant basis in order to give us guidance. The more we grieve and become negative, the harder it is for the spirits to come through. But please know our spiritual loved ones are always making a constant effort to reach out to us, and really it is us as humans that need to try to elevate back to the spiritual level in which we came from. However, being in a human body makes this task extremely difficult.

    Knowing this information, I always recommend people to research dreams, astral traveling, and/or OBE's. You see when it comes to the astral realm (where our dreams, NDE's, and OBE's take place) the vibration level is substantially higher than where we are on earth because it is a step below the afterlife. It makes it easier for the spirits to communicate with us.

    Never second guess yourself Flossie and always keep the door open. Otherwise, how can any spirit or sign come through to you if the door is closed? They are constantly knocking everyday. We are here for you both on earth and in spirit. Again, glad to see you :p
  20. Flossie

    Flossie Member

    Hi PB - it is good to see you here too! And thank you for your, as always, cheery information. You explain it very well and it does me good to be reminded of how this all works. I have thought about getting a nice pendulum just to see if I can communicate with mum. I am not totally sure yet though. I was all geared up to go to a medium demo night this evening but it was cancelled at the last minute, so it's disappointing. Maybe mum will come see me in a dream:)

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