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Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by RobertaGrimes, May 2, 2012.

  1. Like many suicide survivors, in the couple of weeks following my wifes death I did entertain thoughts of following her lead, to either be with her in a spiritual sense, or just to put an end to the almost insufferable grief that I felt.
    Well, due to having the immediate responsibilty of taking care of my youngest, now 15 yr old step daughter,I was able to suppress the urge to 'end it all', so I focussed my energies on researching the possibility of there being an idylic afterlife, where my wife and I would exist together in eternal happiness. Unfortunately, the more I read on this and other websites, the less convinced I am of afterlife reality, and if it does exist it seems to be much less than idylic for some.
    Of greater immediate concern to me however is that my grief is just as strong now as it was in the beginning, and lately I have once again, but this time involuntarily, began to entertain those dark thoughts. Psychological counselling doesn't work with me. There may be some hope with a medication I want to try, but if all else fails and I do in fact find myself in the afterlife, would I have freedom of choice to opt out and choose oblivian instead?

    Edit. Yes I have stated on previous post that I would not wish to put my loved ones through the same emotional turmoil that my wifes suicide has put us all through. The rational ME still feels that way, but there is now another ME who is gradually becoming more unnervingly vocal. I don't think I'm becoming schitzophrenic, but I'm a little worried about these recent changes in my emotional progress.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2012
  2. William
    I struggle with the same thoughts. My grief is unbearable. Though I'm certain something exists I'm not sure I like some of the the beliefs I have read on this forum. I want the pain to end. But I don't want to gamble on the possibility of ruining any reconciliation. What if suicide did that? I can't take that chance and neither can you.
  3. mac

    mac Staff Member

    absolute nonsense
  4. mac

    mac Staff Member

    I understand what you've found has not helped you and that's very sad. But can I ask you please to stay with us for at least a while longer? I am simply a layperson but I feel you haven't found the right grief counselling yet. Your emotions are so raw that the inevitably clinical forum discussions of the afterlife are not appropriate. My view is that you need more one-to-one help and quite likely medication that could help you in the short term. This may sound like a cop-out but forums simply aren't right place for help in your situation.

    For many reasons I urge you not to resist the temptation to end your life but as before I won't b/s you about your final question. When you eventually pass over you will find that you're still alive in a world that many call the afterlife. Your beloved wife is already there but I can't work out if you accept that.

    There is much misunderstanding about the afterlife but although it isn't always immediately the idyllic place often portrayed, eventually it will be. Those who take the heartaches of the physical with them, heartaches which have overpowered their usual emotions, may need - and will get - help to shake them off and help to settle to their new situation. This may take a little time but it will happen. Negative beliefs can delay the process but help will always be at hand.

    None of us can choose oblivion but you could choose to walk away and refuse to accept she's there and alive but it's not what I think you'd choose.
  5. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear wonderful Bill, you are still so deep in grief that it is hard for you to think beyond that. The Lord Jesus Himself could appear before you and tell you that your life is eternal, your wife is fine, and you and she will be together forever... and I doubt that you would believe even then. In my experience, deep grief like yours which is further compounded by the guilt that the loved ones of suicides generally feel is the most horrendously binding negative emotion there is. To get free of the worst of it you have to work very hard, and even then it takes the passage of time. I am so sorry, dear friend! I wish that we could take it away with a few magic words. But we can't. As our beloved Mac says, we are here to hold your hand and try to help you begin to really know for certain that you are a powerful eternal being and an afterlife awaits you that is far beyond glorious. If you will stay with us and talk with us and try to trust, I believe that we can help you get beyond this. The afterlife is wonderful, dear Bill - and she is there! True, it is possible to get off-track - I assume that is what bothers you about what you have read here? The fact that things can go wrong? But the number of the dead who have a less than idyllic afterlife experience is apparently extremely small.

    As our beloved Mac says, please stay with us and ask your questions. Please read as much afterlife evidence as you can. We are not talking about teachings and beliefs here, dear Bill - we are talking about a tremendous body of consistent evidence that is still mostly ignored. Those of us who have studied this evidence no longer actually believe in heaven. Instead, we know that we are eternal Mind, and that the Mind-created reality that we enter after earthly death is beyond-belief extraordinarily wonderful! When you have studied enough to begin to know that, too, you will be open enough to develop a new and in its way quite wonderful relationship with your wife that will make your coming reunion all the more glorious!

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