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Struggles- pre planned or am I off track?

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by Sarah, May 9, 2017.

  1. Sarah

    Sarah New Member

    How do I know if my life is as it should be? If we set up our life and our struggles in advance to learn a lesson from them, then I want to do that... but how do I know if it is a pre planned lesson or if my current struggle is not pre planned and I should make a radical change quick?

    I read a recent thread that mentioned a movie plot of a Dr who had been sent to a "lower level"upon his death because his lifestyle (over eating) contributed to his early death --despite him saving many people over his lifetime..

    I want to live a life of love and happiness as best as I can here- but this idea scares me a bit to think that I might be messing up something I have pre-planned...

    I am very new to this WHOLE concept... any thoughts would be appreciated - xoxo
  2. mac

    mac Staff Member

    Years ago when I was new to all this 'stuff' I asked a similar question of a medium I respected. I, too, wanted to go down the 'right' path for my life and I explained my thinking to him as best I could. His reply to me was that he just got on with his regular day-to-day life without giving any thought to whether he was doing 'what he was supposed to do'.

    I concluded what was good enough for a working medium was good enough for me too. After that I got on with things without any further concern whether I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
    isabel mcdonald, Sarah and Unexpected like this.
  3. Amore

    Amore Active Member

    Very wise words there from mac and Jim!

    Sarah, as far as I understand not everything in life is pre-planned, and what was planned can also change if you want it to. It's not set in stone. Just follow your heart and your gut, don't overthink it. Trust yourself. If you struggle with a situation, leave it, or improve it, or improve yourself. Learn from mistakes, that's why we're here. Like Jim says, it's not necessary to know. Rather, feel your way, one day at a time, and just be yourself.

    Also, not every pre-planned situation or event needs to be something big and major, like marriage or work or some such. Some souls seem to incarnate for smaller and comparatively 'minor' experiences, like holding someone's hand in a crisis.

    As for the over-indulging doctor sent to a 'lower level' - well that was a movie that oversimplified what happens after death. You will not be 'sent' anywhere. It's negative emotions such as anger, hate, regret, guilt, fear, etc that might prevent you from opening yourself to the divine love that is always available. It's often called 'lower level' as if it is something bad, or some form of punishment. I see nothing wrong with it. Nobody gets punished, it's a natural process. People did something in their earthly life and then feel regret or guilt, so naturally their energy is somewhat heavy because of these feelings. But there are teachers there and guides who will help them to understand what happened and let go of these feelings, nobody is left alone.

    I remember in one NDE I once read, the person was shown a human being, an alcoholic who was lying on the street, drunk. It was explained to the person that this soul incarnated to be a drunkard, to teach others compassion.

    It's not all black and white. Some don't come here to learn lessons, they come to teach others. Some just come to enjoy earth life, that's also a possibility.
    kim, isabel mcdonald and Sarah like this.
  4. bluebird

    bluebird Regular Contributor


    I don't believe that we choose our life and our struggles in advance, at least not for the most part. I think you should do what you think is right in your life, make choices you believe are right, and try to make your life as you want it to be. I think you should try to do as much good and as little harm as possible, to yourself and to other people. I think that's what we should all do. So your wanting to "live a life of love and happiness" as best as you can is the right way to go, in my opinion.

    I do not believe in "lower levels" of an afterlife, but if there is such a thing then the idea that a person would be sent to one for overeating even though he had saved many people is just ludicrous to me. What sort of petty god would do that? I don't think the man would do that to himself, either -- it's one mistake as compared to many good things.

    In any case, all anyone here can offer you are opinions; the above are mine. Ultimately each of us, including you, has to decide for ourselves how we want to live.
    Sarah likes this.
  5. mac

    mac Staff Member

    Most of us ordinary folk are unlikely to ever know what's planned.....

    Enjoy movies, believe the plot but only for the duration of the play acting. Beyond that exercise caution is my suggestion....

    Go for it! Live your life and enjoy as much as you can! Please try not to become occupied by thoughts about messing up some supposed life-plan about which you know nothing consciously. And if you want to try to understand more about the 'stuff' we old-folk discuss then you have plenty of time to do it. It's not mandatory, though, that you do try to understand.

    I don't know what age you are, and I try not to offer advice routinely, but to younger seekers I always suggest they get on with their incarnate lives and not spend their time agonising about issues of discarnate lives UNLESS they feel inside themselves they just have to do it.
    Sarah likes this.
  6. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    All I can add to this discussion is what I have personally concluded after a lifetime of research and seven years now of listening to many people's stories. Here, for what it may be worth, is what I have concluded:

    1) We do plan our lives, including all the trials, but we come into each life with absolutely free will and there is no penalty for choosing against some planned lesson.

    2) I do note, however, that many people seem to experience a certain edgy unease if they get too far off-track, a craving to make specific changes, without really knowing why. I'm not sure of this, but I strongly suspect that our guides will try to nudge us back into our plans. It also seems that if we miss a key meeting - with the person we had planned to marry, for example - then we will be given repeated chances to make that meeting happen (this is something that someone once mentioned to me about her own happy-ending marriage, and I have since seen other instances of it).

    3) We are here to learn to raise our personal vibration away from fear and other negative emotions and toward more perfect love. For nearly all of us, that seems to be the whole mission. So now I tell people simply to treat every adversity as another opportunity to learn how to love: whatever the question might be, love is always the answer. There seems to be little more to it than that.

    4) Life is not a pass-fail course. Life is more like a trip to the gym: just get on those machines (a serious illness; the death of a child) and try your best, and you're going to get a gold star!
    kim, Amore and Sarah like this.
  7. Sarah

    Sarah New Member

    Thank you all for your feedback! Its a wonderful thing to have a place to go where people come together and help one another on these subjects :) I am 40- and probably the happiest I've been in my life. I struggled for 10+ years with a hard core drug addiction, but have overcome and now have 8 years with an amazing company, have a wonderful boyfriend for 4 years now, recently moved my mom into my apartment with my son and I so she is not alone (and we get along spectacularly), have an 18 year old son and the most beautiful, perfect 10 month old grandson (and the best relationship we can have with the mothers side of the family, even though the kids have since split up) My finances are for once in order (mostly lol)... My only thorn is my weight and I almost feel like I've failed to get that under control for so many years maybe its meant to be (a lesson for myself or others?).. I truly feel happy and worry free, but...

    I feel like I should be doing something...more?- like I have so much that I didn't in the past, I have so much gratitude- I'm free of anxiety and depression- I feel secure in my life and I feel I should somehow be passing it along?... helping someone?, or praising?? In typical churches it seems to be said that God likes to be praised...

    Perhaps I should try meditation... I do feel like I have a very "full" life... maybe what I'm missing is some down time, inward reflection... Ive never really tried it... hmmm- If love is always the answer... maybe I feel so much love for my life and my relationships and my "place" right now- but perhaps I need to focus on loving myself a bit more- I suppose I'll start with that :)
    Amore likes this.
  8. mac

    mac Staff Member

    You seem to be gettin' on just fine in life - enjoy!

    If you feel you should be praising someone/something for whatever then do it but God doesn't need or want praise - it's churchianity and religion to thank for that misguided notion. You could just say a quiet and humble thank-you to whomever has been helping you - no need to spell it out. Genuine thanks will go to the right one. You don't actually have to do anything at all but if you feel you should then perhaps just keep it low-key and real?

    Why not just k.i.s.s. - keep it simple sweetie. :)
    kim and Sarah like this.
  9. Amore

    Amore Active Member

    Sounds like your cup is full of blessings, Sarah, and wants to overflow! Go for it! Share your love (yes, with others AND yourself!), share yourself, follow your heart.

    Regarding weight, I can share my own experience. I used to be overweight all my life. Not obese, but enough to make me feel self conscious about it. When I found my passion (when I was in my 40s) that weight dropped by itself, I guess because applying myself to my new interest became more important than eating delicious food :D I also feel there is a connection between weight and love - I had not shared all my love before, but then I let it flow, not holding it in anymore ... does that make sense?
    Sarah likes this.
  10. Sarah

    Sarah New Member

    I suppose in some areas I can consider myself as holding back- or limiting my self to what I know and am comfortable with out of some sort of fear... that makes a lot of sense actually.. I suppose I try to minimalize my weight because in the grand scheme of things it isn't (shouldn't be) that big a deal... yet perhaps it is... I recently talked with a friend who is similar to me in size and she expressed the opinion that these bodies were gifts and by keeping them in a poor state not only were we dishonoring (perhaps she used a different term) God but out spirits don't want to stay in a poisoned body, and would likely leave before were able to learn our lessons or fulfill our purpose... Perhaps I will be more successful in getting healthy if I look at it in the sense that it will help my spirit fulfill its purpose better if commit and make some changes...

    I found a quote that might help me to K.I.S.S (mac :) )

    “We are not asked to do great things; only small things with great love.”- Mother Teresa

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