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Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by dora d, Aug 27, 2011.

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  1. hi, my name is Dora, im a new member to your site and love it by the way. my son dustin age 28 took his own life on jan 16,2010. i need your help im comsumed with worry for my son, i need to know if hes ok and on the otherside? I pray for him (out loud) every day. I have had several dreams of him and seen him not long after his death but nothing of late, I sleep alot hoping to see him again. please can anyone help me?
     
  2. Andrew

    Andrew Guest

    Hi Dora! Welcome to Afterlifeforums.com! I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard to tell exactly what your son may have went through after death, but I'm sure he's fine! Here is some evidence about what happens to people who commit suicide after death:

    1. No Punishment:
    It is very important that you understand that no one is going to punish your son, except himself. I don't know if you've read about judgement here, but it is very different from what most people imagine. There is no vengeful Jehovah sitting on a throne punishing people for breaking His commandments. It is also important to mention that there is no hell, only an outer darkness area. Instead all these Christian images, we go through something a called a life review. We see everything that we did in our life and we must forgive others for what they've done to us, and then forgive ourselves for what we've done to others.

    2. Guilt:
    That being said, if someone feels so guilty about what they've done in their life, that they cannot forgive themselves, then they could actually send themselves into that outer darkness area. It's not a pleasant place by any means, but everyone gets out of it and into heaven eventually! It's hard to say whether your son is the Summerland (the part of the afterlife where you want to go after death) or not. Typically, suicide is something that people, except those who were young and/or who were terminally ill at the time, have trouble forgiving themselves for. Our life is seen as a precious gift from God, and when we kill ourselves, we're throwing that gift away. Normally younger people have an easier time with forgiving themselves though. And remember, like I said, no matter what your son will be in the Summerland eventually!


    I'm sorry that I cannot give you a definite answer as to where he is right now and what he's going through, but there are some things that you can do to help make sure that he's in the right place. First off, talk to him. You can do this just by thinking, but they seem to get the message clearer if you actually physically speak to them. Tell him that you forgive him for committing suicide and that you love. Tell him that no one blames him and that he can also try again (reincarnate) at some point. You see, if he is in the outer darkness, it is because he blames himself. To help get him out, you have to convince him that there's no reason to feel guilty. It's good that you pray for him - that will certainly help, but I would also focus on talking directly to him.

    Another thing you could do is go and talk to a medium. Hopefully the medium could either transmit a message from him, or from another deceased relative/friend who could tell you how he's doing. If you cannot find a good one near you, I would select one farther away and schedule a phone reading. Sometimes these are actually more reliable.

    I also want to mention that the fact that you saw your son in a dream could indicate that he is fine and past any guilt he may have felt. It is possible that the reason he is not contacting you is because he doesn't have anything to say. Also, if we are grieving for a deceased loved one, that grief acts as a barrier, preventing them from contacting us. Either way, don't worry because, when it's your time to pass on, you will be reunited with your son in perfect joy and harmony! Of that, I couldn't be surer!
     
  3. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Hi Dora! We are so glad you are here. Please read as many threads as interest you and ask whatever questions occur to you, since only as you come to really understand what is going on are you going to develop the firm conviction that your beloved son is fine! I just want to add to what Vita says above an emphasis on the fact that if you have had communication dreams of your son, and especially if you have seen a vision of him, then he is for certain not in the lowest (outer darkness) level and he is not earthbound. He has made it to the Summerland levels, dear friend, and you will be communicating with him as the worst of your grief begins to ease and as he becomes better acclimated to his wonderful new home. It seems generally that young people who commit suicide very seldom feel guilty about it, so please don't worry about your darling - he is fine!
     
  4. Hi and welcome Dora, I'm sorry about your son. I do think Roberta's right that if he's visiting you in dreams, he is probably in a good place now.

    It's true that sometimes, people who kill themselves feel guilty afterwards because they know how much pain they've caused their loved ones. That's why it's important for you to forgive him, and to say so out loud. I know you must be feeling sad, upset, and angry, but you have to forgive your son because it will help him forgive himself. And don't blame yourself, which I know is easier said than done, but believe me, what happened was not your fault in any way. All the evidence I've heard says that our dead loved ones do hear us when we talk to them, so keep doing what you're doing and know that he isn't as far away from you as you think.
     
  5. Thomas

    Thomas Your Friendly Neighborhood Admin

    This wound up in the Blogs section, but I suspect that it would be best to to move it here:

    thank you
    by dora d on Today at 12:07 PM
    Thank you,Vita & Roberta for your replys, your insight was just what I needed. All I have is HOPE that tommoro will be a better day for my husband and I,we have suffered so much.We will continue to talk to our son everyday, I have wanted to talk to a medium but we live in a rural area and i dont know who to trust on-line, so if you could recommend one for us it would be much apprecitated thanks again dora d
     
  6. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    Dora,
    I feel your pain and understand how difficult it is to work through the the physical loss of a precious son! My son was 20 when he passed in an accident in Colorado in 2007. Though the situation is different, the loss of a child I feel is the toughest journey for a parent. My life will never be the same in more ways then one. Through this grief journey of mine, I have come to realize that Heaven wraps around the earth. It is not far.....it is near and far...it is everywhere! Love never dies and they still care about us here. They can hear us for sure! There are many ways they can communicate with us. Not just dreams. Pay attention to things around you. Watch for unusual behavior of birds or dragonflies, or butterflies, etc. Listen to the music that is playing. My son Mikey often communicates through music. Do lights flick? We are all energy. Everything is energy. Pay attention as it is very real! They try to let us know they are fine and doing well! It is very important to completely forgive your son, yourselves, or anyone else who may have been connected with the situation. This will open you up more to these "signs" . Different emotions have different vibrations. If we are too "low" that can block are ability to open up to these signs of love from our children. My son saved us with signs. We grabbed onto this life line and it truly has saved us. I know your son is fine! He is better than ever in Heaven, wrapped in love and light. God is love and love is God. God helps everyone heal. God is all forgiving.
    Much love to you!
    Carol and Mikey "in spirit!"
     
  7. Carol and Mikey, thanks for your support and im sorry for your loss also.I know theres no greater pain than losing a child.My husband and I morned everyday and your right about that our lives will never be the same again. My son blessed us by leaving us a grandson and he has truley saved us
     
  8. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear Dora, I wish there were an easy way to recommend a good medium to you who is affordable! I will give you a couple of names below, but before you try to navigate the strange and complicated and imprecise world of psychic mediumship, please let me tell you what I have come to understand about psychic mediums:

    1) Psychic mediumship is a vague process not unlike children playing telephone. In the early part of the twentieth century there were deep-trance mediums who could withdraw from their bodies and let their dead "controls" take over and speak using their vocal cords. These controls would have your relatives right there with them, and they could therefore give you detailed and very precise answers! By contrast, a psychic medium must communicate mentally with a dead psychic who has your relatives nearby, and having a normal conversation is impossible. The living psychic gets a series of symbolic images in his mind, and over time he has learned that - for example - red roses mean love, white roses death (or maybe vice-versa), and so on. They see the face of someone they know who has the name of your relative, or they get a first letter of a name; they might see a calendar with a date circled, or a flash of a memory of some incident in their own lives that they are supposed to mention to you.

    2) For a psychic to develop into a good psychic medium requires long years of intensive practice. Each psychic medium has his own team assembled in the afterlife to help him, and each has one or two primary psychic controls whose job it is to get your dead loved ones' messages through the medium to you. I have seen John Edward four or five times in the past ten years - most recently in Boston, this past June - and I have watched him grow ever more adept at interpreting his control's symbols in more and more detail. John Edward is a naturally gifted medium, but it has taken him a couple of decades to develop into the extraordinary communicator that he is today.

    3) Even a talented and practiced medium may have trouble communicating with your particular dead relatives. Mediums typically charge between $150 and $1500 per hour of their time, so naturally you expect them to really produce for you! If they can't seem to do that, you might think they are frauds, but in fact this process is so imprecise that your particular relatives simply might not show up. The best of them will tell you if they aren't getting anything, but mediums also have to eat. Their temptation to "cold-read" and guess and offer generalities is overwhelming. Incidentally, the fact that a particular medium can't reach the person you want to hear from says nothing whatsoever negative about your loved one; it simply is testimony to how difficult and how complicated this process is.

    4) The best mediums are either very expensive or impossible to book for a reading. I have been on John Edward's waiting list for years! I don't know what he would charge, but that question is academic; he is too famous and too busy to do private readings anymore. Some good mediums who are less well known also are becoming too busy for private readings; John Holland, for example, is impossible to book now. Some good ones still will take clients for readings, but they might ration by price - if they can easily get $500 to $1000 per hour, then that is what they are going to charge.

    5) Telephone readings work as well as in-person readings, and perhaps they work better. Because space is an illusion, your relatives can be there in the room with you while they communicate through a psychic medium who is halfway around the world. Telephone readings have the advantage of being more convenient, of course, but they also let the medium concentrate on what is being received rather than being distracted by any nonverbal signals that you might give off if you are right there in the room.

    - It has been years since I was actively doing research on psychic mediums, but I am now helping dear friends to do their own research and that is getting me back into thinking about working with psychic mediums. My friends have had three readings so far, and we have three more booked over the next few months, all with highly recommended mediums. They have tried a couple of Windbridge - tested mediums and been disappointed - most recently, during an hour-long reading the medium offered only vague descriptions of people and no names at all. By contrast, the medium that John Edward highly recommended when I saw him in June - Char Margolis - gave them an absolutely extraordinary reading, full of accurate names and descriptions and details and with no mistakes at all! She was easy to book - she had an opening within a few weeks after our call; and they found her to be jaw-droppingly wonderful. And she charges $800 per hour for one person, and $1000 when there are two on the call. They considered her to be worth the price, but since there is no money-back guarantee that your particular loved ones will come through even a very gifted medium, this is a difficult investment for lots of folks to make.

    I believe that RudeAwakening recommends Willa White, and other members here might have other names to share. If my friends turn up other real gems, I will let you know who they are. Hugs, dear wonderful Dora!
     
  9. Dear Dora,

    I was so saddened to read of your tragic loss. I can’t even begin to imagine what you and your husband have been going through.

    I sought out the services of Willa White 18 months after losing my mother. I purchased a 45 minute in person reading with her. If you go to her website you can see how incredibly reasonable her prices are. I was really blown away by what this young woman was able to bring through.

    Willa is a Lily Dale medium that lives there year round. I end up travelling all the way to New York the first time in order to sit with three different mediums in Lily Dale. I had to know my mother was ok. Willa was my first reading and the only one I really needed. I now realize that a phone reading would have been just as effective. I guess I had to see it for myself the first time.

    I simply cannot over state the peace this reading brought to me. It changed my life. I came back from New York and can’t stop myself from researching the after life now. I still miss my mother terribly, but I feel her presence often and the grief has subsided substantially since my sitting with Willa.

    Before my reading with Willa I talked out loud to my deceased relatives and told them when, where and with whom. I did this several times. I also asked them to try and bring through specific symbols and names. Willa and I both agreed that this contributed greatly to the success of the reading. She was able to get the symbols clearly but the only name she could manage with some clarity was my grandmothers.

    However, the specific details about my mother and our lives in general were staggering and validating in a way I can’t even describe. I was fairly well convinced of the continuity of life prior to that reading, but that sealed the deal for me. I will do a phone reading with her in October to try and reconnect with them again. I’m going to ask for specific things that the medium is unaware of.

    I’m going to ask my mother if she can see me…… Last time she complained about my dirty house. There was no doubt it was her.

    I wish you the best possible result with whatever medium you go with. Don’t be discouraged by one bad reading, keep going. I believe there are tons of really good reasonably priced mediums out there and certainly Willa is a good place to start. Also James Praagh has a list on his website of mediums that he recommends. Willa is among them.

    Right now is the tail end of the Lily Dale tourist season and Willa’s been going full steam all summer. I would think she would be in need of a good break after, but I don’t know for sure. You can email her at her website and put “Phone Reading” in the subject line and she will get back to you fairly quickly. She’s in very high demand there. For such a young woman her talents are very well developed. Both her parents are mediums and she has been working on her skills probably all her life.

    Good luck Dora, I hope you can find some peace through one of these remarkable people. Please let us know.
     
  10. you all are so awesome ! this really means alot to me thank you, and i'll let you all know as soon as i book a reading.
     
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