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sleep - do you get enough?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by mac, Jan 18, 2018.

  1. genewardsmith

    genewardsmith Active Member

    ravensgate and Amore like this.
  2. ravensgate

    ravensgate Active Member

    Amore, it is the International Normalized Ratio that is used with patients who are on warfarin (Coumadin). The higher the ratio the greater the risk of bleeding. Peppermint is considered a blood thinner. Our skin is our largest organ. Peppermint is absorbed and, in theory at least, it could increase the risk of bleeding. In all honesty, that is a rare event, but I did see it with a patient who got too thrilled with peppermint! :rolleyes:
     
    Amore likes this.
  3. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    That is so true. I feel completely similar :(
     
  4. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{Monika}}}}}}}}}}}
    hugs to you.
     
    Monika likes this.
  5. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    Thank you. I take your hug and give hug back. With all my love for a person in deep sorrow
     
    bluebird likes this.
  6. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Thank you, very much.
     
  7. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    I do not remember my sleep habbits very well from before but last years the hours of sleep was becoming less and less. At it was totally enough to sleep between 3 and 5 hours (depending on work shifts). And no "power naps" during the day.
    Now over 5 months i almost do not sleep. On one hand i do not want to sleep because if i sleep it means i need to wake up. And that is a heart attack everytime. So i prefer to stay awake. Sometimes i lay, and almost drift into sleep but then just jump out of it. Feels like inner allarm goes on as i really really dont like to wake up and dont want to miss if Michel will come back home. Its like avoid of being hurt. Kind of protection. But i do sleep in sometimes when i imagine Michel laying beside and hugging me. Then i have dreams. So on other hand it would be nice to sleep more often because maybe then i could get some more dreams, maybe even messages.
    I never tried pills for sleeping before. Just the first night when he died in hospital i got 2 pills. I do not know the name because nurse handed them to my friend and he was responsible that i do not take both of them because they had to be very strong. Under my weight i supposed to get 1/2 of this pill strictly just in bed already. So i got it. It was such a horrible experience that never after i took any pill for sleeping. And im sure i never will. That night i didnt sleep. Who could sleep?? My friends were in room beside. I wished them to come but i could not move or speak. It felt like being totally paralized and left alone in pain. The only part what was in function was brain. It was such a horrible night just laying there with thousands of thoughts. Sooo now i prefer spend my nights just reading or walking or just speaking on phone with some friends. Till morning comes. Most of time during day i feel very tired and at same moment full of energy. It is hard to describe this.
    Though last month i feel that is starts to be more and more hard to concentrate at work, i do forget things very fast. If i read an email so i forget what i just read and who was sending it only while i push answer button. I am also an immigrant in this country so i try to cope with language differences which seems to get bigger and bigger problem as i do forget even most simple words. This scares me a little. And still...i better choose not to wake up
     
  8. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Monika,

    Your brain not working properly is not uncommon when you are in grief. It is sometimes called "widow's brain" (similar to "pregnancy brain"). It occurs because of grief, compounded by not sleeping well, probably not eating well, probably not getting the right amount of exercise, etc.
    I know that my brain doesn't work nearly as well as it used to; I assume my intelligence must still be in there somewhere, but I am unable to access much of it the way I once did. I have a very hard time focusing on anything, can't concentrate, and so forth. So you are not alone in this, nor am I. Your situation is further complicated by needing to deal with language differences, of course.
     
    Monika likes this.
  9. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I'm not medically qualified but from what I've read it's believed during one part of our sleep time the brain is 'flushed' to remove accumulated harmful chemicals. There's also the aspect that we're told we visit the world of the spirit during sleep so if you're sleeping badly, or very little, both these functions may not be working properly and may lead to further problems.

    I'm not criticising you but they are issues that appear important and you may wish to think about them.
     
    Monika likes this.
  10. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    Thank you bluebird very much. I was reading now about this what you mentioned and it helps me a little to understand. Most helpful it would be for my boss and colleagues i guess because sometimes i feel like they dont know how to handle me anymore. They try their best, thats no doubt but i will share this with them too.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2018
  11. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    Yes i know mac :( you are right
     
  12. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    You're very welcome. Be careful about sharing this with your boss -- I was going to mention something about that in my previous post, but didn't. If you are on good terms with them and they can already see that you aren't doing well, then maybe share it with them. I just caution you to be careful, as you don't want to make them think you can't do your job (even if you feel you can't).
     
    Monika likes this.
  13. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    Oh about this i feel totally safe. They are trying to understand me as best as they can. Last week i had a meeting with my boss and he asked how im doing and i said for him all truth that last weeks almost all time im just doing nothing at work because it is so difficult to concentrate, that i do not remember things, that to read laws and analyze them in swedish became for me almost not possible...but then he said that he gives me new permanent contract because they hope that i will stay forever with them (it is so called when you get contract in my work, its life contract because they never can end it, only i can). They often say that most important for them is to help me and support me as best as they can. And they do so so much. Because of job i can have flat so i dont need to live in caravan. In this city is not possible to rent appartment as privat person. They also payed for rent of flat for first months, i got all furniture because flat was empty.... and all this is so lovely! This is such a huge help! And i feel so bad that i can not do my job anymore as good as i could do before. It hurts, i constantly feel dissapointing myself and them. So thats why i told him all truth and was ready to face concequences. And one more time they proved for me how loving and understanding people can be
     
  14. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    That's wonderful that your bosses are so great. :) And you (and they) have already signed the contract, so they can't take it back?
     
  15. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    No, they can not. Its strictly regulated by laws and union. And im memeber in union so they protect. But...if some day they would say that they are not happy with my work i would leave by myself. I would never cause a problem for those people who helps durings hardest time :)
    And i do love my job, very much. It is just now that i struggle a lot there without understanding what is wrong, why i fail so much. But this "widow brain" thing explains a lot. And there was written how to recover from it so i will try
     
  16. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}
    It's very good that you have such good, understanding bosses. :)
    You may have mentioned this already, but may I ask what sort of work you do?
     
  17. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    Im an architect and work with spatial planning (city planning). It is very fun job for me. Especially here as the city where i live and work is moving to new place leaving space for an iron ore mine :)
     
  18. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    That sounds like a fun and challenging job. :)
     
  19. dingodile

    dingodile Member

    I've had sleep apnea for years (I'm 64), and I use a machine. The machine successfully treats the apnea but I don't always get the longest, most restful sleep. There is some evidence that these machines, while fixing one problem, cause another, by triggering "micro-arousals" during the course of the night. That is, by trying to regulate breathing, the machine may interfere with actual sleep. But this is still very controversial. For those of us with severe enough apnea, there's no question that it's better to use the machine than not. When we don't use it our blood O2 levels can really plummet, and that's just no good. But it's still worth working on improving the overall quality of sleep, and I haven't yet sussed that out.
     
  20. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    dingodile,

    Have you tried or considered meditation and/or melatonin?
     
  21. dingodile

    dingodile Member

    Yes, thanks. I think meditation helps somewhat. I haven't experienced any benefit from melatonin. Getting physical exercise is also important, as long as it's not too extreme and not too late in the day. Unfortunately it's not always practical to do this, but it definitely makes a difference to my sleep.
     
  22. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Hm. I wonder if swimming would be a good thing for you to try, if you know how to swim (and if you haven't tried it already).
     
  23. dingodile

    dingodile Member

    I do know how to swim, but I don't do much of it. It's not a bad idea, to see whether swimming might be a better sleep-promoting form of exercise. Thank you for suggesting it.
     
  24. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    You're very welcome. ;) It can be quite a soothing form of exercise, and it's easy on the body/joints. If you do start swimming, I hope it helps you.
     

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