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Signs and Messages from the other side

Discussion in 'After-Death Communication' started by Jim, Jan 28, 2013.

  1. peanutbritt

    peanutbritt New Member

    This analogy helps somewhat, but there still remains the heartbreaking notion that Albert wants to move on himself.

    Growing children (the majority) WANT the break from the parents, want to move from childhood into adulthood. Albert died suddenly and most certainly did NOT want to leave me. I, we, did not anticipate this sudden move to the next stage, so to think that after a few weeks he is letting go emotionally and not trying to contact me and wants and/or needs me to release my emotional ties (without any kind of process, explanation, or otherwise) leaves me feeling abandoned.
     
  2. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear friends, I understand that you may not like what the dead report to us, but nevertheless their reporting on this is consistent. Their perspective is very different from ours! I can't speak about your specific loved one, but in every case of communication of which I am aware that treats with these topics - and that must be at least a hundred, over perhaps a century - all the spouses who have gone ahead say some variant of the following:

    1) They might miss being able to do specific things together, but they don't miss being with us because they can be with us whenever they like and they can look in on us frequently. They don't feel our same sense of loss.

    2) They want us to be happy! They often say that they are fine with our finding someone else to spend time with here; and I know it sounds odd from our perspective, but they say that for us to find a new spouse would not lessen the love relationship that we have with them.

    Consulting a good medium might help you learn how your particular loved one feels, but don't be surprised to find that their perspective is a lot bigger there than our perspective is here!
     
  3. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    The comparison was skewed I accept but I hope it illustrated how emotions can hold people here and hold them 'over there', whoever is holding or being held. I hear your point that Albert wasn't in that situation whilst in this world and I acknowledge that your grief is too raw for you to accept what I've said.

    There is more to say about the issues you've raised in your final sentence but I'll leave that to someone else. I'm sorry I'm not able to help.
     
  4. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    It's not that we "don't like what the dead report to us", at least not in my case. It's that I don't agree with or believe that, if there is an afterlife, that what you are relaying is what our dead loved ones are reporting -- at least, not completely, and not all of them. I understand that some people believe they are, and they are free to believe that, free to believe that they are receiving and interpreting such messages correctly, but I am in no way bound to concur.

    I can believe that, if there is an afterlife, our dead loved ones don't feel the same sense of loss we do, in exactly the same way or to the same degree, since if they do exist in an afterlife they have the advantage of knowing that an afterlife still exists, that they still exist, and that they will be reunited with their currently-living loved ones again. However, if there is an afterlife then I am certain my beloved husband misses being with me, feels sad at not being with me, and feels my sadness.

    If my husband does still exist in an afterlife, I can also believe that my husband wants me to be happy; of course he does. However, because he knows me so well, he also knows that it is not possible for me to be happy while he and I are separated. In particular, while I do know that he wouldn't be upset with me if I were to date and fall in love with someone else, because he knows me so well he also knows that I will never do so.

    If there is an afterlife, I don't need a medium to help me learn how my husband feels -- I know him better than anyone else, and I already know how he feels.
     
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  5. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I agree, bb, you're under no pressure to accept what ANYBODY tells you about life in-the-beyond. That goes for discarnates often/widely seen as spiritually evolved. Silver Birch always advocated his listeners should accept only what appealed to their reason, even from him.

    The points you make are great. :) There's not the degree of separation as it's experienced in this dimension because more is known about and understood - remembered? - after we've lost the constraints we experience here on earth.

    I think you're right on all points but sadness and missing may feel very differently from how they feel in-the-body. That's because of the above but also because in important ways HOW we feel changes. There's no knowing exactly how we'll feel individually or exactly how someone else will feel.

    No one can reasonably say differently even if they have better overall understanding of the general situation. But even though you could still be mistaken on details, bb, there's no one can reasonably say that you're wrong - they don't know.

    In particular, while I do know that he wouldn't be upset with me if I were to date and fall in love with someone else, because he knows me so well he also knows that I will never do so.

    And you're totally entitled to feel that way but others, as you know, may benefit from the help of a reputable spiritual medium.
     
  6. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your understanding, mac. And I agree that others may benefit from the help of a reputable spiritual medium -- I went to one myself, and did find it somewhat helpful. I didn't mean to say or imply that people shouldn't seek out legitimate mediums, and I apologize if it came across that way. For me, I went to a medium hoping to find out that my husband still exists, but not for her help in telling me what he feels if he does exist, because that much I already intrinsically know (though I agree that once dead, feelings may be felt a bit differently than when alive).
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2017
  7. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Member

    Mac, thank you so much for writing that. ("Our loved ones are not separated from US but we are separated from THEM...").

    It helps. I appreciate your taking the time to do that.

    I will re-read it several times.
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2017
  8. Unexpected

    Unexpected Active Member

    I'm sharing this in hopes it helps in some way, another perspective. I realize all those not physically here are all different so I can only speak to what I've experienced, not for all.

    In my experiences with my love who passed, what Roberta wrote is accurate. He has stated he misses doing things with me and he has continuously reassured me that no one will ever come between our love. He doesn't urge me in anyway to be in a relationship but simply reassures me it's not an issue for us.

    He has never said he misses me. He has said before, when I asked what he was doing, "waiting for you". He is quite generous with his gestures of love though. Does that mean he doesn't miss me? I asked him while I was typing this out and he said "I don't have to". I believe that's also in line with what Roberta said but I don't know if that's for every soul? I can't speak to that as others have more experience in this than I. I also don't believe he would tell me even if he did because he doesn't want me to focus on that. He wants me to focus on being happy and on what we had not what we don't have in that way now. He's very interested in my happiness as seems to be the case in most accounts I've read about. He always tells me he loves me though and he's always quite pleased when I'm happy. Just tonight I was laughing over something and he lit me up with cold chills.

    I do want to point out that in Flying High In Spirit (page 118), Mikey Morgan was asked if he missed living a physical life? He mentions missing eating and also mentions missing the close relationships he had with his friends and relatives still on earth. Some of them are starting to be busy and memories of him are fading. He also points out that he knows they'll be together again but he wishes they knew how close to them he really is. This part caught my attention long ago and has always stuck with me.

    As usual, I'm not a medium, just have always been able to hear him. Check out the self-guided afterlife connections if you are interested in developing the connection with your loved one. It helped me get to this point where I can communicate fluidly back and forth with him. Quite amazing.

    My heart goes out to all of you. Even with what I have, sometimes it's still hard. I'm working on my grief as it comes and goes still. He tells me love heals it. I believe him but it's still hard and I'm trying.
     
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  9. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Member

    Nice post, Unexpected. One part of one sentence especially struck home: "...reassured me that no one will ever come between our love."

    That's the tough one for me. I hate being lonely and don't like the idea of never sharing fun things with anyone again. My girlfriend is the love of my life and I lost her 15 months ago. I want to be with someone - but only her. In the meantime, this loneliness and doing things and going places by myself isn't fun.

    In her final weeks she told me that she wanted me to find someone. That really bothered me, but it's hard to explain. It still feels awful to think about that. I know what she meant, but...

    The big thing is this: I couldn't imagine getting into a deep relationship with someone else. I have zero desire. But plenty of people do. But in the afterlife, what then? Who are you with? Swedenborg says that you are with your true love. Maybe it's too simplistic on my side but I would never want to muddy the water. I don't want anything to come between us. No complications. A little companionship sometimes, sure. But no love or commitment.

    I was talking to a psychologist recently (this loss has been a big problem), and I told her that I wish my girlfriend, Mila, could tell me: "Go have fun. Do whatever you need to in order to survive. It doesn't matter who you see or what you do, because I have it all arranged so that we will be together forever." Wow.

    The doctor then said, "How do you know you're not being your own medium?" In other words, Mila could have been telling me that. But of course it's impossible to tell where that thought originated.
     
  10. Unexpected

    Unexpected Active Member

    I can appreciate what you wrote. I also realize that everything I wrote can be viewed from a different angle too.

    Personally, I had to decide long ago to not focus on what I hope will happen simply because I just don't know. What I can focus on is what I know was real here and what I'm experiencing now - he's my true love, that our love is real and it will never die, he's with me all the time, and he works hard at helping me grow spiritually and to work on my healing and always show me how much he does love me. So I try to focus on that because that is a lot more helpful for me than the other.

    I'm not trying to downplay anything he's said, I just realize there may be pieces that may differ later so I'm thankful for what I have now and will deal with the other when the time comes. Doesn't mean I don't ever have wishful thoughts, just means I try to table those thoughts that don't serve me. Also, he says we will be togerther for eternity. From what I've read about the afterlife, this is true. This brings me a lot of joy when I think about that.

    As far as deciphering where thoughts come from, it's not impossible but does require some
    work. I keep a journal of everything. It has helped me to pay better attention to what I'm receiving vs what I'm creating. Might be helpful for you, I don't know.
     
  11. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I'm pleased to learn those words helped you a little, DenverGuy.
     
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  12. enby

    enby New Member

    i'm not saying it's like this for you, or will be or anything, but you can have more than one romantic love just like any platonic loves.

    obvs i'm talking polyamory, and i take issue with the idea that you can only have ~one true romantic love ever~ i think that's perfectly valid, but i def think it's not okay that certain ideas are pushed that make ppl who were with one person, who then passed on, feel like another romantic love isn't or couldn't be as true. and obvs this also applies with ppl who are with two or more ppl currently and everyone's incarnate. their love for each other is just as true and great

    again, not saying you should find another romantic person, or saying that you or anyone who does not like the idea of finding anyone else, that your feelings are wrong. i'm just adding in on this issue of a one true romantic love

    also you'd be with all/any romantic/platonic loves in the afterlife, i mean it's as simple as that, it wouldn't make sense otherwise.

    also i think the lack of exposure/good representation of polyamory makes ppl think it's this foreign complicated concept that only ppl in spirit can conceive and have the capacity for which i think is pretty silly
     
  13. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Member

    I see what you're saying, but there are those of us who realize that those who have crossed over were and are the love of our lives. We're done looking for that again here. There can be no one else. We had the best and we lost it. No one knows for sure, but I like Swedenborg's take:

    It starts at 26:28.

     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2017
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  14. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    And you also are free to believe whatever you like, dear Bluebird. Enjoy and find comfort in whatever you choose to believe! My job, however, is to try to ascertain the truth insofar as it is possible to establish that truth based upon evidence. And I do that, for those who are interested in it. Peace.
     
  15. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Yep. Each individual is free to believe whatever s/he likes, and to determine the truth for her/himself, based on what s/he considers to be valid evidence.

    As always. ;)
     
  16. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    I think it depends on the person/people. For me, my husband is my soulmate, my one and only love (in terms of romantic/sexual/partner love, that is -- of course I have family and friends that I love as well, just differently). For me, there never has been and never will be anyone else; I only want him.

    Polyamory just does not appeal to me personally, but that doesn't mean that it isn't right and natural for some other people. I do think polyamory is gaining more exposure and acceptance these days, which is a good thing, though there's definitely still a long way to go with some segments of society accepting gender and sexual minorities.
     
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  17. enby

    enby New Member

    i thought i was clear i wasn't saying or implying otherwise for you guys. i def agree with you bluebird it all depends on the person

    hell i'm open to polyamory, but will most likely find and be with one person. and if they passed over before me, i rly can't know if i would try and find another.
     
  18. enby

    enby New Member

    yeah again never was trying to say otherwise for you. i understand :)

    again tho there's this problem in the vid, and what i'm talking about. they recognize one true romantic love ppl, but they don't explore anything else which i think is problematic.

    it's erasure, and if ppl are taking everything said as true, there can be nasty implications. just an example, ppl who feel like 'hey, i am/or could be a not only one true romantic love person, but they're not talking about more than one true romantic love, so wth does that mean. if i ever have more than one romantic love, am i fooling myself somehow in thinking that they're both the ones'

    like maybe that's not what they intend, by not talking about it, which i assume is cuz they don't know of any cases?

    i'm just saying it's good we cover all bases and don't leave anything out
     
  19. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    You definitely were clear; I was basically just agreeing with you. ☺
     
  20. Zac

    Zac Member

    I don't think you're grasping for straws though it is hard to be certain whether receiving a flower or seeing a feather are definite signs. While Albert was still on earth, did you receive roses and see feathers? I consider things happening that are very rare to be more certain. Even then, it's hard to discern who is sending the message or what it means. I wrote about some of my experiences here:

    http://afterlifeforums.com/threads/signs-from-electronic-devices.2279/#post-44761

    Have you visited any mediums? I've been to a few mediums over the years. The best I've found is Tim Braun who lives in southern california and also does phone sittings, but he is now very expensive ($325 for a 50 minute sitting). But, I've had a few sittings with him over the past 7 years and I was satisfied with all of them though who shows up and what happens during each sitting was unpredictable.

    https://www.timbraunmedium.com/

    I wish there were a direct voice medium like Leslie Flint available, but he sadly passed over more than 2 decades ago. There are many recording of his sittings though:

    http://www.leslieflint.com/

    The recordings of sittings with Annie Nanji and her husband (who was still on earth) were particularly interesting as there are dozens of them spread over more than 2 decades.

    http://www.leslieflint.com/annie-nanji-1-10

    PS. What kind of bike do you ride? I have a KLR650, but haven't ridden it in a couple years. I went on some offroad camping trips back in the 1990s which I really enjoyed.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2017
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