Reintroduction

I really do understand, as it's much the same for me -- not the suicide part, but the rest. I also have OCD, and while it primarily exerts itself in terms of my worrying about health issues, it is expressed in multiple other ways as well. Like you, I find myself unable to believe in an afterlife unless/until my husband actually comes to me to let me know he still exists, he is happy and well, and we will be together again -- although I don't know if I've ever really viewed that as part of my OCD, but your post is making me think that it might be. I don't disbelieve in the existence of an afterlife, in the meantime -- I'm just agnostic on the matter. So please at least know that you are not alone. And welcome back!

Edit: Sorry, I just noticed that your original post in this thread was from 2018! Nonetheless, welcome back now, and what I said above still holds true.

 

Hi there, mac! I had seriously considered starting a new profile from scratch due to my absence, but since I could still access this one, I felt sticking with this profile was the most efficient thing to do.

 

Hi, bluebird! Please, you have no need to apologize, I really appreciate your post. That sucks, that you have OCD. Should you like, we can chat about it in private conversation, whenever. Feel free not to; I'll leave the door unlocked, so to speak.

Reading my old post, I'm finding it kinda funny that what I wrote those years ago is very much still the same position I hold today (although I could've lightened the tone then).

I think, in regards to personal experience, that we're not actually asking a lot of the Summerlands to send someone to us for comfort and a conversation. We would expect any child lost in a dark forest to cry out for someone to help them; and we would expect any loved one or neighbor who heard their call to respond; and if the child yells for the father and it's the mother who greets them instead, I don't think the child would be ungrateful or angered about it, although they would surely be curious as to the father's location and status.

 

TWF,

Yeah, OCD sucks. In many ways, it essentially prevents peace of mind, because there is always something to worry about -- usually multiple somethings. And if you actually spend time thinking about them, you'll never get done the day-to-day things you need to do, so the only way to get on with regular life stuff is to (try to) ignore or compartmentalize the worries. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. At least, that's how it is for me.

I agree that it is not asking for much, to ask for reassurance (and you phrased your thoughts on that matter very well). The fact that we (largely) don't get it is a big part of why I very much doubt there is any kind of god. And while a reassuring visit from an angel or the like would probably help me feel somewhat better, what I really want is for my husband to visit me (providing that doing so doesn't harm him in any way). If god/source/whatever does exist, I don't trust it -- whereas I do trust my husband. HE is the only one I would believe.

 

Yeah, I can understand what you mean. Naturally, I have my own opinions on It (god/source/etc.), but I'll save those for other posts in other forums.