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Profound Thoughts From Types With Fingers, Stickied by Acclamation!

Discussion in 'General Afterlife Discussions' started by RobertaGrimes, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Bluebird, I've been thinking of what you've said in this thread all day, because, believe it or not, I've thought many of the thoughts you shared here, and I was surprised how exact they were to my own. I know my posts may not have given that impression, but that's the beauty of the internet.

    Let me start with this: committing suicide is like dropping a black hole on everyone you know. It doesn't just rip everything that's good out of your closest friends and family, it reaches out with inky black tentacles to infect every soul connected with them; people you never knew; people you could've known, the course of whose lives are all forever and violently altered. Whatever problems you had in life, in death you shove them tenfold onto the survivors.

    Most will eventually endure this, deal with it, and adapt to a new normal, but not all. Some people become utterly destroyed, struck by constant, back-to-back nights of terror, despair, rage, dread, existential angst, and other maladies-- especially suicidal thoughts; their entire worldview obliterated, leaving them a hopelessly lost, battered, sinking lifeboat in the middle of an uncaring ocean. I'm not being poetic to be lighthearted, it's the best way to describe my own experience. I'm the survivor of a person who committed suicide. I'm destroyed and struggling to rebuild myself. So I can tell you with confidence that should you find the opportunity to kill yourself: DON'T. Would the pain you feel now pale in comparison to the pain others would feel if you end your life? Would you want others to feel the way you feel, or worse? I'm not even talking about the afterlife consequences, because I honestly don't know if there's an afterlife in which there will be consequences. I'm just talking about the consequences in this world, and, like a black hole, the true answer to those questions is that you can never know how much destruction such an action you're talking about would cause unless you let it loose. Don't.

    I know that's not what you want to hear, because it's not what I would want to hear. I know. Words like, "I'm sorry for your loss," or "it'll get better in time," or (God forbid) "tis better to have loved and lost than..." are empty cartridges. I get that you think you have nothing to live for, that you have no future, no hope. I get that, truly, because I feel like that all the time. Before my friend killed himself, I had just finished spending the previous three-plus years of my life experiencing every single friend I ever made in college and grade school, and virtually every member of my very large family, turn their backs on me and leave me, one by one, all of them, when I went to them for help. I had been rejected by dozens of companies for dozens of jobs on a weekly basis, with no help from the regular sources. I had been used, mocked, and abandoned by the very people I thought I could rely on for support and growth, when I just only wanted the happiness they had. The woman for whom I would've married in a heartbeat said I was ugly and that she never wanted me to contact her again. And of course, there were the other massive mistakes I made, which I deeply regret, and which haunt me to this day, along with my entire past. The point is, I had already watched all my hopes and dreams fade into oblivion when the storm actually hit.

    So when I found out my friend was no more, I suffered several excruciating emotional breakdowns. What he did was so... alien... to me, and he made it seem so.. easy... my mind couldn't grasp it, and it collapsed. All the bad moments of my life, all the mistakes I ever made in my life, were thrust to the front of my memory, like a mockery of a life review. They terrorized and paralyzed me. I dearly wanted to die, though I didn't have the conviction to do it myself. I was afraid to die, and terrified to live. I cried, and screamed, and thrashed, and felt chills and sweats, and suffered fiery pains inside my body, and all the while watched with great resentment as everyone around me got to move forward in their lives while I couldn't move an inch in any direction without severe punishment. I privately prayed to God for help; please, give me guidance, I asked. Why lead me to this? What was the point of it all? Is this how it was supposed to be? Am I where You want me to be? Where do You want me to go from here? So many questions.

    That was months ago... I haven't gotten anything to this day. Not a sign in the sky, not a feather on the floor, not a lucid dream, or an OBE, or anything like anything on here at all. I still feel exactly the same things I just described, and still get nothing. I wake up every day and go to work, thinking about how it's going to be a waste of life because I don't know what to do with myself, and I'm just consuming resources like a virus. I'm in torment. I know it's unsustainable, there's no way I can stay like this for the next sixty years. Some days, I wake up a devout atheist. Other days, I think, maybe there's an all-loving god, and a sensible, grand scheme, loving point to this nightmare. There are also days I wake up and think there is a god, but He doesn't like me, and that's why he hasn't helped me. Then there's my friend who died. I'm not a loved one or a close friend, so maybe it's even harder for him to give me a sign, or maybe he has less reason to be interested.

    So I'm really all alone. If I have a guardian angel, or spirit guides, or a whole platoon of spiritual agents at my side 24/7, they've done a crackerjack job at making themselves known to me. I'm tired, and angry, and afraid, and I tell this to God/myself/the air all the time, and I finish my thoughts with a little prayer of, "I'm lost, and I want to go Home. I'll go where You want me to go, even if I don't want to go there, as long as I know it's where You want me to go, and as long as it gets me Home. Please help me. Amen." Does it help? Lord knows. All I know is each day I find a little something to distract me and give me a little happiness. Food. This forum. My dog. Video games. It's slow. It's painful. It's unfair. I do it anyway.

    But I'm telling you all this, bluebird, because I think it's okay for you to feel the way you feel. You're not alone in your feelings, and that's okay, too. I don't know you well, but it doesn't matter, I don't want you to kill yourself. I've seen what happens afterwards, it's inhumane, and I beg you never to consider it as an option. Please, never, never, ever plan to actually go through with it, ever. I'm on here because if there's even the narrowest of paths possible to get me out of this nightmare without hurting anyone, I'll grab it with dear life, and I think deep down that's why you're here, too. I think you want out of this nightmare somehow, as badly as I do, and you want it without hurting anyone, as I do. But that won't happen if you kill yourself, believe me, I know. There has to be another way! There has to be a better way! Maybe we'll find it together on here?
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2015
    Widdershins3 likes this.
  2. mac

    mac really-really-old member

    SUICIDE - support agency contacts

    see

    http://afterlifeforums.com/showthread.php?1839-Resources-for-People-in-Crisis&p=37425#post37425



    In the UK

    Helplines and support groups

    Samaritans (08457 90 90 90) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
    Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won't show up on your phone bill.
    PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
    Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn't have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.
    Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
    Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.


    Agencies that provide support and information

    SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 01708 765200, email info@supportline.org.uk or write to SupportLine at PO Box 2860, Romford, Essex RM7 1JA - Provides emotional support and details of support groups, helplines, agencies and counsellors throughout the UK


    Calm: 0800 585858, www.thecalmzone.net - Campaign Against Living Miserably Help and support for young men aged 15-35 on issues which include depression and suicide.


    HopeLine UK – 0800 068 4141 – for practical advice on suicide prevention www.papyrus.org.uk


    Lifeline (N.Ireland)
    0808 808 8000 www.lifelinehelpline.info
    For anyone in N.Ireland who is in distress or despair. Immediate help on phone 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Face to face counselling can be arranged, also befriending, mentoring. Issues dealt with include suicide prevention, self harm, abuse, trauma, depression, anxiety.
    Run by Contact N.Ireland www.contactni.com independent counselling service employing professional qualified counselors who have extensive experience of working with people facing a wide range of problems, free to all users.


    Premier Lifeline
    0300 111 0101 www.premier.org.uk/lifeline
    Helpline providing a listening service, information, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective


    Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/


    In the USA


    If you're thinking of committing suicide, call these numbers immediately:

    Hopeline: 1-877-235-4525 Supports people and saves lives during times of crisis through caring, confidential conversations.

    National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline / Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

    If you want information and referrals in regards to help with mental illness:

    National Alliance on Mental Illness Information Line: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) [Call Monday to Friday, 10am-6pm Eastern Standard Time]

    National Alliance on Mental Illness website: www.nami.org
     
  3. janef

    janef Moderator

    I think I missed seeing this post from Feb. 1st, but Wow Roberta, you certainly got their attention! Congratulations! I think I was in a similar place that prompted my experience.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2015
  4. mac

    mac really-really-old member

    see

    http://afterlifeforums.com/showthread.php?1839-Resources-for-People-in-Crisis&p=37425#post37425



    In the UK

    Helplines and support groups

    Samaritans (08457 90 90 90) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
    Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won't show up on your phone bill.
    PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
    Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn't have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.
    Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
    Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.


    Agencies that provide support and information

    SupportLine Telephone Helpline: 01708 765200, email info@supportline.org.uk or write to SupportLine at PO Box 2860, Romford, Essex RM7 1JA - Provides emotional support and details of support groups, helplines, agencies and counsellors throughout the UK


    Calm: 0800 585858, www.thecalmzone.net - Campaign Against Living Miserably Help and support for young men aged 15-35 on issues which include depression and suicide.


    HopeLine UK – 0800 068 4141 – for practical advice on suicide prevention www.papyrus.org.uk


    Lifeline (N.Ireland)
    0808 808 8000 www.lifelinehelpline.info
    For anyone in N.Ireland who is in distress or despair. Immediate help on phone 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Face to face counselling can be arranged, also befriending, mentoring. Issues dealt with include suicide prevention, self harm, abuse, trauma, depression, anxiety.
    Run by Contact N.Ireland www.contactni.com independent counselling service employing professional qualified counselors who have extensive experience of working with people facing a wide range of problems, free to all users.


    Premier Lifeline
    0300 111 0101 www.premier.org.uk/lifeline
    Helpline providing a listening service, information, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective


    Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/


    In the USA


    If you're thinking of committing suicide, call these numbers immediately:

    Hopeline: 1-877-235-4525 Supports people and saves lives during times of crisis through caring, confidential conversations.

    National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline / Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

    If you want information and referrals in regards to help with mental illness:

    National Alliance on Mental Illness Information Line: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) [Call Monday to Friday, 10am-6pm Eastern Standard Time]

    National Alliance on Mental Illness website: www.nami.org
     
  5. poeticblue

    poeticblue Moderator

    Suicide is definitely not the answer and will create a horrific ripple effect for everyone that you have encountered in your life. Yes, even strangers. We all are here for a reason through the good and the bad, and have come to know one another for a good purpose. If someone ends their life on purpose, it changes everyone's chart and meaning in life because you were meant to be here for a reason. Everyone here needs everybody.
     

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