Not sure where to post this

and though i am posting, I'm wondering if I should; perhaps I am losing "it" - whatever "it" may be. Something has me puzzled, and this something started quite a while back; problem is, it's not going away, if anything it's becoming more frequent.
There are times when I see flitting images/shadows; there are times when I feel as if something is touching my arm or hand. Usually I look right away, afraid that it may be a bug, but I look and look (hey, it could be tiny, lol) and nothing I can see has landed. This is not a pilomotor reflex, of that I am sure.
Thing is, the shadows/figures that I notice occur here only, not outdoors or at someone else's home. I cannot say it's because I am still mourning the loss of my two friends who recently passed because this started way before, years ago, in fact.
Someone told me that my fear is preventing me from seeing these spirits completely, clearly, and perhaps it's true. But then how can I explain seeing my daughter's ex-boyfriend, or hearing him chuckle, hearing him call my dog (the rottweiler he owned - and she heard him too!), how can I explain seeing my beloved GSD.... pardon the naive question, but shouldn't I be able to see the "shadows" just as well? Frankly, I'd rather not.
Oh, and after so many, many years without a dream about my parents, I had one yesterday, an odd one, I must say.
In the dream I heard my mother's voice; it was a telephone call, but there was some static on the line; anyway, she said to be careful about the weather and keep safe if we see bad weather approaching. I looked outside and it sure was tornado weather!
I'm just one weird duck, huh?
I don't know, I don't even know if I am confused, but I sense that what someone told me last year may be true after all. I was told that I am the one who shut the door on the spiritual world, and though I try to play ostrich, I will not be able to stop the communication.

And this brings me to another little "interesting" event that I shared with one forum member only. Several months ago the name Rita would keep popping in my head several times a day, no idea why. Then I started "hearing" the name Albert; this hearing of the names became more frequent and I could not figure out why. So I told my husband, asked him if he knew anyone by the name of Rita and Albert - nope.

A good week, perhaps longer goes by, and now another name starts coming to me; after a few days, (much annoyed by this time) while having supper, I tell my husband that for some reason the name of the ex Premier of Canada kept coming to mind; I said something to the effect, "What in the hell does Chretien mean to me? His name just pops in my head!". Well, my husband nearly froze, lol and said that I was making the hairs on his neck stand straight. He said I was scaring the crap out of him, and I had no clue why! To make the long story a tad shorter, he said that a couple from Canada had gone missing in NW USA (forget if it was Oregon or Washington State), and their names were Rita and Albert Chretien. Ok, so WHY in the world would their names come to me?
Am I really losing it? Not comfortable with it.
TIA

P.S. I apologize for the lengthy post.

 

Dear friend, I think you are indeed receiving messages, and I wonder why you are so much resisting them? We are all different in what we can do with our minds, and you seem to have a facility for spirit communications. So, embrace it, for heaven's sake! Each time something like this happens, think, "Thank you! Please make that plainer," or "Please give me more." Why wouldn't you do that? It can't hurt you - it can immeasurably improve your life in so many ways. I think it's wonderful, frankly - I don't have the gift, but I have seen it develop in others and it's such a happy time when they finally embrace it. Big hug, dear Ravensgate, and congratulations - you are blessed!!

 

You may very well be right, Roberta; but why me? I don't know how to explain it, but there is some fear within that I believe (yet I try to suppress) stems from a long, long, long time ago, not in this life certainly. I suppose the other world is gently trying to get me to work on this fear, based on the experiences that I cannot explain "logically/rationally", no matter how hard I try.
I also believe that whatever trauma may have happened in that ancient past is somehow connected to the monk. I have walked the streets of Venice with him; every encounter with him is one of discovery, both about myself and about my past, but I am so afraid of reliving the pain, so I want that door closed and try with all my might to keep it closed.
If I knew of anyone practicing spiritual psychotherapy, I'd be the first in line to sign up!
Isn't it sort of ironic that someone who has spent most of her life in the healing professions is unable/unwilling to heal herself? Go figure...

 

Does "why me?" Ever really have an answer in this life?

I know I personally am much more comfortable with ideas about spirit than with actual experiences. Could that be a part of your fears too? In any case I agree, it seems that you have a gift, gather your courage and " lean in".

 

You're right Celera, but this may be a case of easier said than done, lol Yet, when I think of many of my dreams, I must admit that the message seems to be exactly that, to not be afraid and quit erecting road blocks for myself. For example, one dream goes like this:

I step out of a building (surroundings are not familiar to me, in this life, yet I "know" them in the dream - hope it makes sense) and to my left I see a bridge, and I know I must go over that bridge to reach my destination. But there is a male close to that bridge who kindly tells me that I must go the other way, and I argue with him(or try to). Eventually I go the other way, to the right, and find myself crossing this ancient looking, magnificent bridge with Gothic architecture.

But suddenly I see that the bridge ends, I look down and I see many people holding some sort of fabric/sheet/tarp. They appear to be my friends (though none of them resemble the friends I have on this Earth), they are all smiling and telling me to not be afraid, and then I know that my Guide is right beside me (the monk?) and he too tells me not to be afraid. Yet, I do not trust and think to myself, "Are they crazy? If I jump I'll kill myself!" But ultimately I do, and when I land, I am perfectly alright; the Guide is still by my side; he is always so very warm and kind, I have this enormous feeling he truly cares for me; anyway, he walks with me for a while until I feel really good about myself and safe; it's as if deep inside I know no permanent harm will ever strike me.

A similar dream is finding myself in an old building, I open one door and here is a rotund figure (looks like a medieval cook, lol); he is so glad to see me, and I too greet him warmly because I know him (but only in the dream); I then walk a bit further and open another door and there is the monk. He is unbelievable, with such a radiant smile and the deepest blue eyes that can see eternity, eyes that sort of sparkle (difficult to describe). Anyway, he invites me to come closer, he tells me many things but unfortunately when I wake up I remember nearly nothing; what I do remember however is that he shows me the view from that window and tells me that it can all be mine if I just quit being so afraid.
What do you make of this, Celera?

P.S. Yeah, my answer to "Why me?" is "Why not me?", lol

 

I am a christian and religion means nothing to me but i have been doing deep study in GOD and about His love for us and everything else. One thing i came to know from that study that once a soul dies its the end. That soul is never coming back. He is either being torcherd in hell or is waiting in paradise for last judgement. Cause GOD does not allow anyone after death to go back to earth. So the one that you are seeing for feel like your seeing someone is not your daughters boyfriend but evil spirit and those evil spirits are bothering you. So my advice for you will be to pray to GOD to help you in this and they will stop bugging you.

 

So, what bought you to this forum and why do you feel obligated to post here???

 

Sorry, to put it as briefly and as politely as I can, I do not share your sentiments. Peace to you.

 

Welcome, dear Suzanerosh! In joining us, you find yourself among others who also have done "deep study in GOD" - in my case, for more than half a century. And I stand now in the presence of God and of Jesus, our beloved Wayshower and Best Friend, and say that you, my dear, are absolutely, 100% WRONG! Nearly everything you say in your post (except the part about God's love) is wrong. You are preaching a religion, which is forbidden here - this website is entirely about FACTS. We are delighted to have you with us, but this is your first warning. If you ever preach an unfounded, beliefs-based negativity like this again, you will have your second warning. A third such post will see you banned, and I hate to ban people! So please stay with us, but please stay with us in the love and humility that is necessary for all of us who are striving to learn God's perfect truth. Do not ever, ever again say a word about either hell or God's judgment, because I have spent fifty years looking for evidence of both, and neither exists. God is way, way bigger and infinitely more loving than anyone reared as a Christian can possibly imagine!