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New Member

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by poppyet, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. poppyet

    poppyet New Member

    I didn't see an introduction section, so I'll post here. I'm 30 and my mom died unexpectedly 4 weeks ago at the young age of 54. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing before and it's terrible. I just cry so much and constantly talk to her. My young daughter and I lived with her and she was my best friend. God, I hate talking about her in past tense. It just doesn't seem right. I just wish she could show me any kind of sign that I'm not alone, but I don't feel anything. Maybe my extreme grief is blocking my ability to communicate or something. I still live in our house with her two cats that she adored and all of her things and I have her car and it's just so hard to live with these reminders everyday. I never wish to experience this pain ever again and I'm sure it will become easier with time, but a part of me died with her that day and I'll never get over it.

    -poppyet
     
  2. janef

    janef Moderator

    Hi poppyet,
    Welcome to the forum....So sorry for the loss and grief you are going through. I hope you can find some comfort knowing she is still with you in another dimension. Keep talking to her and asking for a sign, maybe asking for something specific. Also sorry this forum is not more active. There doesn't seem to many active members lately, but there are quite a few that are very supportive, so hope you stick around. There is great information about the afterlife here. It has been very helpful to me.

    Jane
     
  3. bluebird

    bluebird Major Contributor

    poppy,

    You have to give people time to respond -- many of us check in on this site once or more per day, but many of us also have jobs and families and other things that we have to attend to. It's not from lack of feeling that people didn't respond right away.

    I am sorry your mother died. My husband died. It all sucks. Some people do say that extreme grief can prevent dead loved ones from "coming through" to us -- I don't know if that's true, but if it is I think that's a shitty way to run a universe (if there is actually a god or whatever running it). I have had a few "signs", that may be from my husband -- i hope they are, but i don't know for sure.

    I am atheist/agnostic, and I don't know if there is an afterlife, so I can't offer you any direct comfort, but I can tell you that you aren't alone in feeling as you do. If you can, it might be helpful if you let your daughter and your cats comfort you. In any case, I hope you are able to find some peace.
     
  4. Nirvana

    Nirvana Regular Contributor

    This forum is pretty inactive.

    I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

    Would you maybe consider seeing a medium?
     
  5. marmaladecat

    marmaladecat Guest

    Hello poppyet, welcome to the forum. I am sorry for your loss of your mum. As Bluebird has mentioned, please do give members a little time to respond as we may not all be immediately active on the forum.

    The site is a great resource for information; I hope you will find some helpful info within the forum and through asking questions on threads/ topics too. :)
     
  6. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear Poppyet, we are a comforting community indeed; but unfortunately we all have rather busy lives. If I had known you were here yesterday and needing help, I would have signed in yesterday. I hope you will forgive all of us for not being online constantly.

    It is very sad for you to have lost your mother temporarily, but please understand that she is well and happy and you certainly will see her again! If you would like copies of my books, The Fun of Dying and The Fun of Staying in Touch, I will be happy to send them to you as a gift - please just send me your address at rgrimes@robertagrimes.com. Knowing what really is going on, where your mother is now, and how you can best recognize her attempts to communicate with you should help you considerably!
     
  7. poppyet

    poppyet New Member

    Thanks, guys. I deleted my frustrated post. I'm just really going through a hard time, the worst time ever, and just want to lash out at everything I see, ya know? I'm trying to get it under control and I've asked my mother to help me be calm. I've always been easy to get worked up and lash out and she always knew that. I hope she can just spiritually hold my hand right now, so that I don't hurt other's feelings with my agitation and coldness. I wish I could feel her, though. I don't even see her in my dreams, but since she died I'm always searching for her in my dreams to no avail and I awake sad and angry that she didn't visit me. Maybe she's recuperating now, as she had a very traumatic life, before she'll be able to visit me. I"m just so impatient and want her love so much. I don't have any friends and I'm not close to family. She was my everything.
     
  8. ilovelearninhg

    ilovelearninhg Regular Contributor

    Poppyet, I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you find some comfort and solace here. Please stick around hopefully you will find something that resonates for you. I believe there is great proof that there is an afterlife, and I truly believe your mother is receiving healing and joy where she is.
     
  9. bluebird

    bluebird Major Contributor

    poppy,

    Don't worry about it -- I certainly understand being filled with sadness and anger, as i'm sure many other people here do as well. If there is an afterlife, it's possible that she needs some time to recuperate -- I've read in some afterlife accounts that sometimes that is the case.

    I haven't had any dreams about my husband either, at least not good or real ones. I think I had one in which it was as if he were alive, but it didn't feel like an actual visitation dream (where my husband's soul actually comes to me), just a regular kind of dream, and it was very short. All the other dreams I've had about him since he died have to do with him cheating on my or me cheating on him, or him breaking up with & leaving me, or me breaking up with & leaving him, none of which ever did happen or ever would have happened.

    Are you thinking about going to grief counseling, or is that not for you?
     
  10. poppyet

    poppyet New Member

    I've already had a psychiatrist for years, so I don't plan to go to grief counseling. I also have a couple of friends (that I don't talk to so much because they are clear across the country from me) that have gone to school and practice holistic medicine. They've told me some amazing things that are uplifting and enlightening.

    bluebird, I hope that your husband is with you always <3
     

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