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New here and with some questions on the afterlife

Discussion in 'General Afterlife Discussions' started by Emily E., Jan 31, 2017.

  1. G.Martin Nichols

    G.Martin Nichols New Member

    To Emily:
    You were considering whether at 19 you should be thinking about "life after death" and my advice is do that, do it a lot for none of us know when we will pass into the next life, and it could be today or tomorrow. Unfortunately, in this age of the world, little attention or credence is given to the one source that answers the important questions, yes I mean the Bible. It is largely scorned today, and that is a terrible fact of life. The Bible is the Authority that can save us from existing forever [without end] in a place we don't want to be in for an hour. But it is necessary to be a believer before studying God's Word, so here is the gospel of grace: Look in your Bible for I Corinthians chapter 15, and verses 1 through 4
    (usually designated I Cor. 15:1-4) and believe that it is Jesus Christ speaking through the writer to you.
    When you believe the Holy Spirit will change your life forever. As a believer you will be able to study the rest of Paul's epistles to build up your knowledge of your position as a citizen of Heaven, and a member of Christ's Body. After studying Paul's epistles,go on and study the other scriptures to fill out your knowledge and mature and perfect your place in Christ. I am more than glad to help you at any time with your journey.
  2. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I have to advise you that you are falling foul of the 'no religion' rule here and Roberta will have more to say on this.
  3. G.Martin Nichols

    G.Martin Nichols New Member

    If that is the case I will certainly desist. I read all of the rules etc. that I found but didn't see any such restricton. :oops:
  4. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Taken from 'Our Rules and Policies'.....

    The posting of content that does not even remotely relate to the afterlife or spirituality is considered to be spamming and is prohibited. Religious spamming, which is defined as attempting to convert forums readers to your religious views through threats or intimidation, also is prohibited."
  5. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I strongly disagree and have suggested that youngsters do very much the opposite of what you're advocating.

    It doesn't much matter whether in this life we are aware of what comes next. It may be highly interesting for some of us but whether we know or whether we don't we'll all be following a well-trod path....

    In my view young adults should get on with the things of this life. There's more-than-enough to experience and learn-from in this world without worrying about when we'll pass over to the next.

    Whenever that may be it's unlikely it was our first visit here and it's very unlikely it will be our last, should we desire that.
  6. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Oh dear. As someone who has studied the Bible extensively and throughout my life, I would be delighted to debate this with you, but this forum is a religion-free zone (as our wonderful Mac already has said). Thank you for respecting our rules, which are there for your protection, too: you would not believe the extreme religious ideas that were posted here before we put the ban into place!
  7. Emily E.

    Emily E. New Member

    Hi, it's me again. I know that it's been a month and I haven't been paying attention to this thread lately, but I just wanted to thank you all for the kind, reassuring words. While I do hate to use this place souly as an area of comfort (though I do in fact look at the materialists' arguments just for another perspective), I'm still glad I found a website where everyone is nice and accepting to each other.

    As of now I'm currently a deist (originally an agnostic at the time, though I eventually decided personally that our existence has way too small of a chance to be an accident). I do not really believe in the Bible (I do think it's possible that the stories might have been based on true events, though I believe that for the most part they are allegories), and I still consider myself culturally a Catholic and follow some of the traditions.
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2017
  8. G.Martin Nichols

    G.Martin Nichols New Member

    I was Catholic half my life and am still interested in it as a subject of discussion. My email s/b in my profile so I welcome email from you.
  9. Emily E.

    Emily E. New Member

    Update, I'm doing fine. Nowadays I'm less worried about my own death, and more worried about one of my friends, whose father died earlier this year. She's been going through a really tough time, and just earlier this morning she said something that made me a bit upset. I wish I could say something to make her feel better, but I don't really know what to say.

    Also, I recently read about Peak in Darien, and it sound really interesting.

    Also the thing about my fear of oblivion is not really so much me being afraid of dying itself. I understand that all living things must die eventually, but sometimes when I think about nothingness after death, it doesn't really make sense to me, and that's what scares me. The reason why I came her is not for comfort, but to find some good evidence and a reason to believe, so I could at least have some hope that there is something on the other side. I think Peak in Darien gives me some of that hope (though, of course like you said, at a young age it's best to focus on your current life instead of worrying about something that likely won't happen for a long time, and I understand that).

    Also, another reason why I came back here is because I have a few more questions, but I didn't want to start up a new thread. I've seen a couple of atheists who claim that the afterlife and souls are myths due to their human origins. I just want to know what any of you say about that, and if there's any argument to back that up.

    Also another thing is what about the fact that we where nothing when we were born? Or the fact that we didn't even remember anything while being a baby? That also seems to be an argument occasionally, and I just want to know what you have to say about that, about what makes before birth any different from after death.

    Thank you for your input and hope you can reply :)
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2017
    Stephaniellen likes this.
  10. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Unless you're confident in yourself about what happens after we pass over you're not really in any position to explain it to others, particularly someone bereaved. BUT even if you knew everything there were to know and could put it over really well there's no certainty your friend would be comforted by it. Sometimes the best you can do is empathise and listen. Sometimes the bereaved just want someone who they can talk to and sometimes family members aren't the best persons. Often we have to grieve by ourselves and - as the saying goes - time is a healer.

    I've no idea what Peak in Darien is but if it's helping you then go for it. You say you haven't come here for comfort but to find good evidence etc. OK, then. What have you actually done to look here for the things you want to believe in? I'm guessing you realise you're speaking to some individuals who feel almost totally opposite to how you feel about "nothingness" after death. We can't change how you feel but on this website are a huge range of conversations about all manner of subjects. Have you read 'em? What do you think of what's said there? What doesn't work for you?

    How long have you got? No, strike that. How long do you want someone else to spend on your issues? Are you minded to follow what atheists say? If so, go with it. If you aren't comfortable what have you done for yourself to find an alternative? We could provide arguments to counter anything an atheist says but why should we? We're not out to change your mind or convert you. You're on a website about afterlife issues and those comfortable with the notion of life after death will likely have found the evidence they needed to feel persuaded about survival. Would you be persuaded by their evidence? How do you know?

    really? How do you know? I say exactly the opposite - we existed before we began our present incarnation, we'll exist after it's over. We didn't blink into existence at the moment we emerged into this world.

    How do you know that you couldn't remember anything as a baby?

    I think you have enough from my reply to stimulate your thoughts. I don't know if any of it will have any appeal for you or whether you want everything handed to you on a plate but often the lessons that stick are the ones you learn for yourself. ;)
  11. Emily E.

    Emily E. New Member

    I see. I just want to look at a different perspective and see some input on certain arguments from those who firmly believe in the afterlife. I like to be open minded, so I look at a non-believer's perspective and whatever arguments they have, like the argument for the souand then go to a believer and see what they have to say about it. Those two arguments I've seen from atheists and skeptics get to me the most, and I just want to bring them up and ask you what your own personal thoughts are on them.

    About Peak in Darien, someone had mentioned it on this thread. It's basically an NDE experience where you see visions of people who are not known to have died. I found it interesting and it opened me up a bit.

    I hope don't come off as too "debating". I want to look at all possibilities and then decide what I feel is right. I'd hate to misguide myself, and lately I've simply just been stressing out about what I should believe in. I do understand this is a forum for discussion, rather than debunking or debate. That's why I try to make it clear that I just would like a bit of feedback on it, rather than a complete argument. I did look through some of the other threads here, and I do find the stories people have on here fascinating. I suppose like you said, it would be better to learn for myself instead of having someone teach me everything there is to know.

    As for my friend, I gathered a couple of my other friends to try to help her. That's what I usually do whenever she's grieving, and I do feel like I need to bring it up since it's been worrying me as well lately.
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2017
  12. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Welcome to this forum I hope many of your questions will be answered but reading what appears here.

    Rather than respond to each point in your post, I will share with you what I did and still do regarding the Afterlife and my daily living.
    I first encountered "proof" of the Afterlife at a Spiritualist church where my late grandfather appeared in a Reading, I had many such encounters over the years the folks living on after death became a fact for me. Then, I had a one to one connection with my late brother in law shortly after his death where there was no Medium involved and we had direct, telepathic or mind to mind communications. It's a very long story. My late wife was a psychic/medium and channeled many Dis-incarnates for grievers to speak with. So, the concepts of the Afterlife are valid facts for me but I could not prove that to anyone. If you want some kind of experienced proof, I'd go sit with a Medium and allow your Dis-incarnate loved ones to come talk to and be with you. They nearly always appear in our dreams, when our conscious mind is less defensive, and they come in a wide variety of ways during our waking states but we usually miss or dismiss those connections. Once you see or accept the various ways your crossed over loved ones try to communicate with you, it might become easier for you to know they are still alive and well over there because they truly ARE. Wishing you much peace and happiness on your journey of discovery that no one and no thing every actually dies. We just move into a different and usually better realm or place.
    Denise and Widdershins3 like this.
  13. Emily E.

    Emily E. New Member

    Thanks, Jimrich. Maybe I can try that out. I've also considered meditation, and I heard that also works well for stress/anxiety relief.
  14. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    I'd google: grief or grief support and learn HOW to help a griever. Basically it's about patiently letting the griever vent, weep, rage, curse, etc. WITHOUT giving them advice or silly feedback about how they'll "get over it" or "it just takes time" or "there, there...." etc. Grievers just need a sympathetic person to permit them to FEEL and EXPRESS their pain, sorrow and anger. It takes guts to let someone VENT in your presence and not rush to FIX or STOP them. Most folks are driven to shut the Griever up so the "friend" will not have to feel so uncomfortable in the Griever's presence!
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2017
  15. Emily E.

    Emily E. New Member

    Thank you. I find your advice on grief really helpful.

    Of course I'm still fairly new to this site so again, sorry if I end up sounding ignorant in some posts, but I'm sure I'll be able to see things clearer once I learn more.
  16. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Just one more thing about grief and grief-work. A griever can often trigger the unhealed, hidden and bottled up grief inside of the friendly witness so the "friend" feels uncomfortable, disturbed, hurting and sometimes RESENTFUL of what the Griever seems to be doing TO the friend when all that is happening is the friend's unhealed, inner wounds are being EXPOSED and felt. So the trick is to recognize or realize that the Griever is NOT causing or making the friendly witness have pain or feel bad and that those uncomfortable feelings are coming up from within the friend. The "friends" own unfinished business is being TRIGGERED but such an unresolved friend can still be a neutral or compassionate witness for the Griever if the friend understands where, how and why they are feeling pain or discomfort when near a Griever. Many therapists do NOT understand this and will unwittingly try to "comfort", "sooth" or shut up a Griever ASAP to avoid feeling their own hidden pains. It's very tricky to sit with or near a person in pain and NOT rush to sooth, comfort and STOP their pain (so yours will also be stopped!). I had several friends and even therapist rush to shut me up with soft tissues and stupid, unhelpful comments about my painful feelings. Fortunately for me, my 2nd wife had the GUTS to let me grieve, weep, curse and rage in her presence until most of the bottled up emotional poison was vented and released. LOL, my 1st wife could not and would not handle it. She was unwittingly carrying a huge bundle of her own unfinished business but she lived in deep denial of her own damaged and painful feelings. Oh well..............
  17. Arbutus Eric

    Arbutus Eric Member

    Hello Emily! I love seeing younger people interested in the afterlife. It just means that you have that much more time on this earth to serve spirit, may you choose to do so! Have you tried reading Roberta's books ? They aren't long or difficult to read, I think I read one of them in a day because I couldn't stop myself! They will go a long way towards dispelling any ignorance of the subject, and are a great place to start.

    First off, belief implies doubt. This is a highly evidential subject. You don't have to believe anything, nor do you have to experience it for yourself. Let's say you were a prisoner who has never seen the light of day. How many people would you need to tell you that the sky is blue on a sunny day, before you just accepted it as fact? Would thousands of cases proving the afterlife do it? Yes you will find variations as there is a subjective element to every passing, but there is enough objective consistency across the myriad accounts that some facts emerge.

    It is a fact that we are all eternal beings, spirits having a physical experience. It is a fact that we are here to grow spiritually by direct experience, kind of like a workshop in school where you get to try things on for size. Over and over again, we are told that the most important way to achieve this growth is to learn how to love and serve one another. It could be that you have to go down that dark road of selfishness to see where it goes before you are ready to accept that the only thing that matters is love. When you get this, the next step is extending that love to everyone unconditionally, and then to all life, and so on... It is your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not.

    The real challenge is this: We live in a world that has selfishness as a core value, and it looks as if this is a good thing. When it seems as if we are supposed to look out for number one, will we choose to love and serve each other instead? Many people want to make spirituality into a complex problem, and the expectation of complexity results in overlooking the simple truth: Spirituality is love. If you make love your core value, and put selfishness on your naughty list, everything will change. You will have a completely different lens on the world. I've done it, and I can only describe it as enlightenment, which is supposed to be hard to achieve but really isn't! It is right in front of you, hiding in plain sight.

    I could go on, but for me the message of the afterlife is the key. Your friend's father is alive and well, and probably more than a little distraught at the grief his daughter is feeling. But if this whole process results in her growing spiritually, then it was all worth it! If it results in her looking at the evidence and discovering the truth, then her father will be incredibly proud. They'll even throw her a huge party!

    You should be about as afraid of death as you were afraid of your high school graduation. It's just a transition like any other. Do the research, make yourself sure of it, and then put love first! If that's a little too much too soon, at least you can make progress in the right direction. Any progress towards love is good. May it be so for you and your friend, Emily!

  18. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    It's good to see you here, Emily! To answer your questions quickly:

    1) The evidence that our minds are eternal and that we cycle through repeated lives on earth is so abundant and so consistent that your friends who claim otherwise are simply ignorant. The "afterlife" is actually our genuine home, and we come here briefly to grow spiritually very much as we might go to a gym. Not sure what "human origins" means, but since we go back and forth between here and there it only makes sense that these places and our bodies in them would resemble one another!

    2) Your mind is quite literally ETERNAL. You live many lives, and because time does not objectively exist there is considerable evidence that all your lives are being lived simultaneously and they influence one another. We agree to accept amnesia for our life in the Summerland and our other earth-lives before we are born, but that amnesia is not perfect and often children in their first few years of a new lifetime will retain some memories from prior to this most recent birth. They fade as the child grows.

    I hope this helps, dear!
  19. Emily E.

    Emily E. New Member

    Thanks for the answers, it does help me a bit. I almost forgot about the reincarnation stories, which I also find interesting as well. It does make me open to the idea that we lived lives before our current ones.

    About the "human origins" thing, it's based on how a lot of people view the soul and afterlife as being a religious thing, and how religion is often claimed to be "man-made", and originating back then before people didn't have a grasp on science or knowledge, but I'm curious if there any evidence that the idea of a soul or afterlife isn't entirely of religious or "man-made" origins. Because, if I must be honest, with so many scientific breakthroughs, it's sometimes hard to not view the ideas as being "ancient myths" in this day and age. One of the reasons why I came here is to find out if they are really, truly more than that.

    As for my friend, she's doing okay. My other friends and I are giving her support, and while still sad, she's feeling a bit better.
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
  20. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member


    I don't know if you've read any of my posts or comments, but simply put, I am agnostic verging on atheist when it comes to the idea of god, and agnostic when it comes to the possibility of an afterlife.

    With that said, I would like to point out that it is possible that souls and an afterlife exist, independently of the formation and existence of various religions. That is, I tend to view religions as almost certainly based on ancient myths, ways that primitive humans (and more modern ones) created and used in an attempt to decipher and understand the world around them and the way in which that world functioned. However, that doesn't preclude the possibility of souls and an afterlife existing, it only means that if souls and an afterlife do exist, humans probably haven't discovered how all that works. Scientific proofs and breakthroughs also don't preclude that possibility, they are only able to disprove certain incorrect myths (such as the idea of the Earth being 6,000 years old, for example, as many fundamentalist Christians believe). It is quite possible for an individual to hold both spiritual views and scientific views, without internal conflict (provided that individual doesn't feel the need to adhere to any strict religious doctrine).

    Of course, I may be wrong, but I did just want to point out that it's not necessarily an "either/or" situation. ;)

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