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New and Blue

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by bluejayye, Apr 25, 2019.

  1. Greetings to all on this site. I was made aware of this site in the book Flying High in Spirit which was given to my wife by a friend. On May 1st it will be 2 years since the night our lives were suddenly and forever changed. It was the night police knocked on our door to tell us our oldest son (31) had died (we found later of a drug overdose). We have struggled to receive signs from him but they have been nonexistent recently. Shortly after his death our TV set turned on by itself on 2 occasions which we took as a sign he is ok. In our grief, even though we are both Christians, my wife and I then sought readings from 2 mediums at the Lilydale community in New York. Some of the information they gave could not have been known by anyone and even we only received validation of it several months later. While that made us feel a bit better, since then however we have not received any signs from our son and have been feeling more despondent on the matter especially with the anniversary of his death upon us. We read of all these people getting all these signs from the other side … and here we sit in our empty sadness waiting. Is this normal? Are we not looking for the signs? Should we be doing something more, or is it something else…I welcome any help, advise, or reassurance from anyone at this point. Thank You
  2. Bill Z

    Bill Z Established Member

    I am sorry for your loss Bluejayye. I can only say what I've experienced and I believe that they sometimes have work to do on the other side and it's not that easy to communicate and it's also difficult for us to receive communication because of grief. My Susie first reached out to me with electrical phenomenon: radio and lights turning on or off, etc. Than She stopped doing that and reached out in other ways but there were times when there was nothing. You know from the mediums and the electrical stuff that he's ok, maybe just working on something right now. Hope that offers some reassurance.
    bluejayye likes this.
  3. mac

    mac Staff Member

    welcome to ALF :)

    I've already responded to your other posting in the C&M thread but have a few thoughts about this posting. You have had pretty good evidence of his survival I think but it's natural to want more. There is, however, no certainty that will happen or that you'll necessarily recognise if you're getting signs - there's a thread elsewhere here about signs and symbols. You ask if it's normal to be sitting in sadness waiting and my answer is absolutely yes. It's normal NOT to hear from loved ones passed over and it's perhaps more usual but I don't know of any sound statistics to prove either situation.

    Of course we home in on accounts of after-death communication because it's what we want for ourselves but it can't be guaranteed and perhaps shouldn't be expected - others here will disagree! It's possible your son is sending signs and/or symbols you're not seeing/registering but he may be doing other things more important for him right now.

    Reaching out across the divide isn't simple or easy from what teachers and guides tell us. Accounts suggesting otherwise may build unrealistic hopes or expectations. I'm sorry if this sounds negative but I'm not a nay-sayer or a debunker and a look at some of my other postings will show my approach.

    I wish you well with what you're doing and hope you get the communication you're hoping for. :)
    Kurt and bluejayye like this.
  4. Luna

    Luna New Member

    Hello, and I'm sorry for your loss.

    I just wanted to say that there was a time I was grieving and asking for signs. I asked, and received one. At first I felt like all my sadness was lifted, but then there was this doubt and it came back. So soon after, I asked for another sign. I seemed to receive one. Once again, the anxiety and sadness lifted a little. I felt reassured... Yet, then again this doubt came back. Was it really a sign? Am I wrong? etc etc. I wanted more validation.

    The point in my story is that grief can be hard. Ultimately we want so badly to know beyond 100% that all of this is true. We want tangible, physical, undisputable evidence- but we can't quite get it. There is still some amount of belief and faith involved, and when we feel this overbearing sadness it can be so trying.

    The very last time I asked for a sign was a long while after, and I just said "Please, help me not think of this anymore. Let me focus on just the present moment and not worry about the future". Not even five minutes later I looked at my watch and realized the entire digital face was missing- as in it could no longer display the time. I had looked at it about thirty minutes before that and the watch was intact- with no signs of damage or anything. I guess that's one way to not worry about the future/time? I decided to not ask for more signs and reflect.

    I agree with Mac about it being natural to want more. Please don't feel discouraged or sad. Try not to let that reassurance slip away from you. I am sure your son is with you, even if you have not seen more signs. I hope you can find what you are looking for.
    bluejayye likes this.
  5. Thank you Luna. Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of our sons passing. While we are moving on and I at least believe he is ok and with us, we still look for that sign at times. Having another son makes it a bit easier but still at times all we seem to do is make each other sad in our thoughts. So mostly I try to keep my sadness to myself-not the best plan but necessary at times. We are planning another trip to Lilydale to meet with a medium and until then we just try to move on. One thing however is for sure and that is we never ever take the next minute of our lives for granted anymore...as we know now that life offers only one guarantee to us all.
    Luna likes this.
  6. Zac

    Zac New Member

  7. mac

    mac Staff Member

    This thread had developed into a general discussion. I apologise to bluejayye for my failure to act sooner by relocating off-topic postings.
    Kurt likes this.
  8. Kurt

    Kurt Major Contributor

    Your still the best, Mac

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