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Never Had Girlfriend/Wife/Sexual Relationship

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by Nirvana, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. Nirvana

    Nirvana Regular Contributor

    A PM from a member who shall remain anonymous:

    "Another thing I'd rather say in private that on the board is that you constantly hear from the women on this board that sex is no big deal either here or their theories about the afterlife.

    They do not understand what its like to be male as the thoughts of sex are constant and fairly consuming.

    My own mother at one point had to take testosterone hormones as a treatment of some kind and she told me that she had never experienced the type or amount of sex-related thoughts she had before or after that hormone therapy and only then did she realize what we males go through in life."
  2. mac

    mac Staff Member

    Yet one more example of how very different things are in the physical compared with the etheric, a situation which drives the spiritual-progression-through-experience that we achieve here. There are no comparable issues concerning gender and sex because there is no hormonally-driven urge to procreate, something essential in the physical.

    I usually avoid making the points I'm about to make because of anticipated hostility but in sexually motivated crimes I wonder just how much the perpetrators (almost always men) are driven by urges not of their choosing and outside of their control? Perhaps not the 'evil' individuals as portrayed because they didn't choose their behaviors?

    Our hormones may greatly govern the personalities and characteristics we exhibit, the individuals we are actually seen to be, rather than it being innate.
  3. I don't think "the women" here on the forum speak with a single voice, for one thing. I personally have never said or thought that it's no big deal, for men or women.

    Hormones and other physical factors do, of course, have a significant effect. Because women have hormone levels that fluctuate over the course of each month, their sex drive can be quite variable from one day to the next -- I've noticed that men have a hard time understanding or appreciating this, since they don't have a similar cyclical variation.

    My father is suffering from Alzheimer's disease -- one of the earliest symptoms was a significant decrease in inhibitions. He began to say things that previously he would have kept to himself. In some ways this is nice, as he expresses affection more readily than he used to. But it also can be a bit awkward, because even approaching 80 years of age, apparently he thinks about sex, and notices pretty girls, far more often than one might expect. A number of times I've had to redirect his attention to get him to stop chatting up waitresses.
  4. Fudge

    Fudge New Member

    I've experienced the merging of energies that is highly pleasurable. Not as intense but if I could devote time to studying and practicing it, it may be possible for the merging of energies to become as intense as sex in the physical body.

    I feel that whether sex is important or not is part of the experience that individual has for being here. Some people may be here for reasons that sex would get in the way of, whereas for others it may be the very reason they are here, to experience it in various ways, cope with the consequences, overcome any difficulties arising from it, imbalance with partners, self control or lack of same etc etc.

    I have it in mind but could be wrong that sex could become for us in spirit similar to the way while here we once played with toys as children and then grew beyond the need or the pleasure of those toys.
    Maybe they exist to teach us about sharing, enjoyment, obsession, loss, greed, want or need etc etc.

    It may not be the thing itself but what we discover as a result of it that counts and letting it go once we have moved on is not as big a deal as it might once have been.

  5. bluebird

    bluebird Major Contributor

    I agree -- it's not as though we are one homogenous group of "the women" (or "the men", for that matter). It's different for every individual. For ME, sex with my husband was wonderful -- sometimes spiritual, sometimes lusty, sometimes fun, everything. It was a "big deal", in that it was part of our relationship, a way to be close. It was not the most important part of our relationship. For me, casual sex was never something I wanted, which is why I never had sex with anyone before my husband and will never have sex with anyone else for the rest of my life. So for some people, sex is an important and wonderful part of life. For some people, it isn't. And there's a whole range in between.

    Celera, I'm sorry to hear your father has Alzheimer's. I hope he is able to continue to recognize and relate to you and his other loved ones.
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2013

  6. I love this analogy, especially because many children's toys are a replica or a sort of "practice" for adulthood. Children play at being parents, or taking care of a home, or building things with blocks or Legos, or being policemen or doctors. Even animals' play is generally practicing skills for hunting or fighting -- things they will have to do for real when they are grown.

    I've always liked the idea that things here are just a shadow or facsimile of the real things in the spirit world. Building a home is a very much greater experience than, say, building a "fort" out of blankets. Perhaps building a home in the Summerlands is similarly a huge leap forward in both the required skill and the rewards of accomplishment. I hope that's really how it works!
  7. Fudge

    Fudge New Member

    Hi Celera, that very topic was covered in a book I read where a man's son returned to tell him how things are where he was.
    He explained about building a home there. The book was called 'Heaven's Gift' by Jasper Swain, with a subtitle of 'Conversations beyond the veil'.
  8. Sounds interesting -- this book might be of interest to BruceAdama also, I know he has strong feelings about wanting to be able to build and create things in the afterlife.
  9. william61

    william61 New Member

    I don't agree Mac that sex crimes or casual recreational sex urges are driven by a hormonal driven desire to procreate. My wife never had children by me. It was too late in her life, and mine to bring up young children. On most occasions when we made love, it was our way of expressing real affection for each other. On other occasions the motivation was pure unashamed physical lust on both our parts. I believe the same is true for most of the people I know in the average cross section of society.
    Anyway Nirvana, you are a good looking bloke/guy. You are still young and have plenty of time. I didn't have my first meaningful loving/physical relationship til I reached 35.
    I heard a tip from a frisky old guy on talk back radio the other day. "Even if you are not a parent, join a group called 'parents without partners'. You will get more lovin than you can handle". And even at your age you might need some 'medical' assistance to survive the adventure.:rolleyes:
    Phew, I'm off to have a cold shower!

    Seriously though, true love developed from mutual respect for each other, trumps lustful sex everytime. That is why I have chosen not to seek another partner for the remainder of my life.
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2013
  10. Nirvana

    Nirvana Regular Contributor

    I've read that sex crimes are driven by the need to feel power.

    That's what everyone seems to say. Good to know, and thanks for sharing, William.

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