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Never Had Girlfriend/Wife/Sexual Relationship

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by Nirvana, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. "boring after a minute " doesn't describe sex for women in general, although it can be that way sometimes. The solution to your problem, Nirvana, is not to convince yourself that sex isn't so great. It can be great and your desires for it is perfectly normal, especially for a man in his twenties, regardless of past experiences and certainly regardless of whether you are good looking.

    And it's possible that it will never happen. Unlikely, but possible. But there's no value in dwelling on that possibility, is there? At least wait until you are old to be bitter about how badly your life went. There's no benefit in getting a bad start on regrets or resentments. I suggest trying to live in the moment. A bit more.
  2. poeticblue

    poeticblue member

    Totally not even listening to these other "women"....

    Sex is not the epitome of life... I've have great sex and I have been raped... so sex is neither here nor there for me.. I am a soul made of God and not human. My beautiful child and my best friend is enough happniess for me. Even my beautiful cat is enough for me to say enough. Loving yourself is the greatest orgasm ever. Do not be consumed by words on a computuer. Live your life like you were suppose to and see the possibilitty come before your eyes. Sex is human. Eternity is your soul.

    With that being said... I have seen 3 blogs posted before me asking questions about the afterlife... and yet a thread posted about virginity and sex gets attention? I do not think that is right. Lets talk about the afterlife for a change people.
  3. I could write pages and pages but all I really need to say is that nobody gets to define whether someone else's pain is valid. Nirvana's loneliness and fears for his future are painful for him, and your experience of being raped is painful for you. This section of the forum is about the meaning of life, intimate human relationships are part of the meaning of life. Sexuality matters, and empathy for people whose troubles and sorrows are different from one's own -- that also matters.

    Poeticblue, you have done much to rise above the traumatic experiences in your life. Clearly this topic is a trigger for you, which is understandable.

    I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just sharing an observation -- The best way for you to keep this thread alive is to come here and say things that upset people and hurt their feelings. You say many things in other threads that are wise and inspiring and informative. Those threads will thrive if you keep contributing to them.
  4. poeticblue

    poeticblue member

    Perhaps you are right.... I am just wondering why this thread is getting so much attention after several months when I see people asking for answers NOW and nobody has real answers unless it pertains about their dead husbands. Sex is sex.... its a human feeling. When we die, sex willl mean not a damn thing. But what about everybody else asking questions about the afterlife? And what does sex have to do about the summerland? They dont care about that stuff there.
  5. There has been recent activity in several threads that relate more to the afterlife, while this one was dormant for several weeks.

    Sex as a physical reproductive urge is not meaningful in the Summerland. But, I think thats not really what this thread is about. The physical experience is not that hard to find. The world's oldest profession persists for a reason.

    But we are social beings and a loving and intimate partnership is something many people crave. Nirvana doesn't just wish for a set of physical sensations - - he wants to be close to someone and fears this will never happen for him. Some people don't feel a strong need for a life partner. Some are content with other types of close connections. But I get the feeling Nirvana doesn't have a lot of those either. This thread is really about loneliness and being loved. And that does matter.
  6. poeticblue

    poeticblue member

    I can appreciate that answer. Everything I say beyond this point is coming from the heart. I know he is lonely and feeling other emotions... Nirvana may be void of alot of things but he needs to realize that sex will definatley not make him feel happy in the long run or elevate his social status. And my opinion about sex was not my opinion for other women because I know that some women act like they can't live without sex (which is ridiculous) I just think that a simple hug and a kiss is more loving than that.

    True love and affection goes way beyond sex and what you can physically touch. Knowing that you have souls and people who are there for you even if you can't comprehend who, what,where, when, or why---- now that is love. It doesn't do a person any good to marinate in their depression. If Nirvana wants a wife or a girlfriend, then he needs to act like it. All of this self loathing is not serving him any favors and he's definatley not going to attract any women with a mentality like that. And if he does attract any women with this self loathing mentality, then it will be the wrong women! You Celera, may think that what I am saying is mean, but that is your opinion. I am just keeping it real. What Nirvana needs is a dose of reality instead of a kiss on his behind. I'm not claiming to be this guys friend, but I sure do know that real people and real friends will not lie. And I'm not gonna lie when I say that Nirvanas mentality is whats keeping him where he is at and if he is not happy, then he needs to change his point of view.... Perhaps he needs to donate his time at a homeless shelter or spend time with children who have nowhere to go or have never been loved. So yes, this subject does dig way beneath my skin because it seems trivial compared to everything else.
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2013
  7. Nirvana

    Nirvana Regular Contributor

    Would your opinion be different if you never experienced a relationship?
  8. "a relationship" is a little broad. . There are certainly many people who experience love in platonic relationships, while only encountering sexual experiences that are loveless or even abusive. I've known such people and they often feel the way pb does. For them it has been true that sex is overrated and unconnected with love, which of course is far more important.

    I have agree with some of what pb says - and others have said too - your current frame of mind will make it quite difficult to find a healthy romantic relationship. But that ground has been covered before.
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2013
  9. Fudge

    Fudge New Member

    I'm still fairly new here so I hope I'm not about to say something I shouldn't but I wanted to share an experience I had that showed me that when something is meant for you it will happen so trust in whatever your life experiences are and be ready for when they might change course.

    I met someone as a result of choosing one of two jobs. I debated long and hard about which one would be right or wrong.
    During my worry-fest I detected another voice coming through so I got a pen to write it down as I caught the words in the background and what it said was that there are no right or wrong answers, just choices leading to experiences.
    We are here to have experiences, some of those will involve other people to varying degrees and intensities.

    Anyway after I had started work and met the man I was destined to meet, I learned from him that not only had our paths crossed several times already in the past where we had been at the same place at the same time but that the job I had turned down to accept this one was in a location where he had been planning on opening a new business. So if we hadn't met when we did it was already being set up that we stood a chance of meeting at the next crossing point in our lives.

    I have to say that this person and I didn't end up in a relationship together although for a while it was looking highly likely.
    He turned out to be someone extremely important in my life who changed the direction of it and put me thereafter on a path of helping people with depression.

    So I strongly believe we meet the people we are meant to, when we are both ready for it to happen and other opportunities will present themselves if one of these meeting points is missed.

    I now strongly believe life is all about experiencing different feelings and situations. Maybe also dealing with the consequences of those experiences too. These experiences could involve spending a long period of time without being in a relationship at all.

  10. poeticblue

    poeticblue member

    Thank you. You have said what I couldn't say

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