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mac's grumble!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by mac, May 19, 2017.

  1. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    It's my 70th birthday and I'm now deep into unofficial old-fart territory so I'm gonna do what my peers are well-known for doing. Today I'm going to be a cranky grumbler, kinda-like old farts are often said to be. Just for today. It's a present to myself..... ;)

    I wonder if anyone else has noticed? Although we don't have a great number of contributors, a fair fraction come with apparently little desire to engage with us regulars. It's not just here, by the way, it's also elsewhere on other forums where I'm a regular. In fairness, though, here we do get a few more new posters!

    Typical scenario. New member posts for the first time. Talks about herself / himself and may, or may not, ask questions. Regular contributors reply, some in detail, others more wary of wasting their effort. (me!) New member perhaps adds another posting or two and is little heard from again. Members continue pointlessly adding to the thread although perhaps they, too, enjoy talking about themselves.... OK that's not an exact situation but I think you'll get my point.

    Can't the new member (I wonder) be arsed to come back with a considered reaction? Does the individual even read what's been said? Or is their particular appearance here simply a 'Facebook moment', a posting about just him/herself, a place just to talk about her/his own life? No real interest in discussing, debating or learning anything about this website's specialty, its raison d'etre?

    I'm mentioning no names but I do get fed up of that kind of approach. Maybe it's just me? Maybe it's my crankiness manifesting again? Maybe I've been around these forum boards too long?

    Don't care - it's my party and I'll cry if I want to....:p:D
    Kurt likes this.
  2. marmaladecat

    marmaladecat Member

    Hi Mac,

    Happy Birthday!

    I agree that recently there seems to be the occasional new members posting who don't really appear to want to engage fully with others - it's as though they merely want to make a statement/ make statements as opposed to further continuing any shared discussion. It was noticeable recently that one new member even appeared to refuse to engage any further on one particular thread, cutting off those individuals that simply had a different perspective!

    It would therefore be helpful if new members were perhaps more mindful to not just post out statements that they have no intention to further debate on. Also should another member have a different perspective to themselves, to then bluntly refuse to discuss that opinion!
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
  3. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Thanks for your birthday wishes, mcat. :) If only new members saw things as we do! But as I mentioned earlier this is not a situation peculiar to ALF.

    One another related website appeared recently a group's representative who wrote at length about how we should treat practitioners purporting to be physical mediums. Her piece was the latest in a long-running thread in which we had discussed apparent mediumship shown by video to be fraudulent. I found the tone high-handed and she had nothing new to say anyway. Nonetheless she declared her group would not enter into any kind of discussion. I was polite but direct about how I felt about such an approach on a website where knowledgeable and experienced members had already expressed their positions.

    Some time I coined 'shidad' to express how such events leave me feeling, kinda like the absurdly overused 'lol'.

    shidad? shakes head in dismay and disbelief :D;)
  4. marmaladecat

    marmaladecat Member

    I just think, why bother to come onto a forum meant for discussion if you are not interested or open to what others have to say! It's fine to disagree with a difference of opinion but maybe not so fine to declare that their own opinion is the only opinion that's correct and that they won't discuss it any further! :rolleyes:
  5. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I think that way too but mostly I just put up with the small annoyance and I say nowt - it's just today's treat. :D

    Tomorrow I'll be my usual sober self on these forum threads. ;) Or perhaps I won't and, hereon in, curmudgeon mode might be my default setting!! :D;)

    We'll see what the trans-Atlantic crew have to say when they get home from work later today.....
  6. poeticblue

    poeticblue Moderator

    Always a chip on your shoulder as usual Mac. We wouldn't have it any other way :D Happy Birthday.
  7. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday, mac! :D
    Kurt likes this.
  8. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I was once told I was very well-balanced with a chip on each shoulder..... :eek::D
    Kurt likes this.
  9. poeticblue

    poeticblue Moderator

    Ha.. nice. That pretty much does sum you up doesnt it?

    But on a serious note, we appreciate you and I appreciate you. I know I haven't expressed it that often and though you still get on my nerves, whether you believe it or not I still consider you a friend. Best wishes.
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
    Kurt likes this.
  10. Amore

    Amore Active Member

    Hi mac and a very Happy Birthday! :)

    As for the members who disappear after one or a couple of posts, or won't join discussions, I can only speak for myself that I don't feel knowledgeable enough to engage in many of the threads here, although I've read many. I find it all very fascinating and interesting but wouldn't know what to say that hasn't already been said in a much more eloquent way by others. So, often I keep silent but I do click on 'Like' a lot! ;)
    Kurt likes this.
  11. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Heh - you are indeed well-balanced by that criterion, Mac! And that's why we all love you. Happy Birthday from one of the rare folks on earth who actually are older than you are ;-)! I'll give you my perspective on this, for what it may be worth:

    Until I was 62, I lived for myself and I had a wonderful life. Then I gave the rest of my life to God, and promptly it became a great deal more wonderful! Everything was changed. For the past eight years, I expect nothing from anyone, friends or family or strangers, but I live only to give; and I find that the more I give, the more I am filled so there is still more that I have to give!

    I consider this website to be a source of solace and a store of information for those who are seeking, and I maintain it as exactly that: it's a wayside respite for troubled travelers who need it and find it along life's journey. The fact that nearly all of them will pause, talk, take in a little knowledge, then be on their way troubles me not at all. I just am so grateful that there are a few who have stayed here beside this well in the desert that we refer to as life so they can help to listen and console and pass so many water-cups. Thanks to you especially, dear Mac and Marmaladecat, PoeticBlue and Bluebird! My dear friends, I couldn't do this without you!!
    Kurt and (deleted member) like this.
  12. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    thank you :)
  13. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    thank you, Roberta

    I don't see myself in the way the (un)kind soul described me all those decades ago. I really don't have any chips on either shoulder and am perhaps little different in my irascibility than quite a few others and - I think - considerably less than many.....

    I never fail to remember that this is not my website and I'm a guest here. I realise we each find different things on this website. Maybe I'll become more mellow in the last few years I'm around this earth this time around. And perhaps I'll become less frustrated by the things that irk me presently.

    But perhaps not....;):D
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2017
  14. poeticblue

    poeticblue Moderator

    I'm kinda wondering if you are referring to me in your post. But either way we all may perceive things differently, and the way I have come to perceive you is obviously not how you or others may perceive yourself at times. That goes for everyone really.

    In any event, I was trying to be light hearted and joke around a bit but *shrugs* Oh wellllll. I will leave you to your thread Mac.
  15. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    absolutely not - I mentioned that I find a similar situation on other websites where I'm a regular contributor. My observation was general and related to all those websites and their forums.

    And the 'chips-on-shoulders' remark came from a trade-union official when I was fighting the case of one of the members I represented.....
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
  16. poeticblue

    poeticblue Moderator

    Ok good to know. That honestly would have bothered me till the end of the night knowing that I genuinely upset you. (And I really do mean that). I guess I don't articulate it well at times but I do think you are a good member here even throughout the forums ups and downs within these several years.

    Sorry if I automatically jumped to a conclusion today. That was my fault.
  17. marmaladecat

    marmaladecat Member

    Hi Amore, I agree that the 'like' button is helpful at times to show that another member's post has some similar resonance to yourself avoiding any further repetive comments.

    Don't worry too much about others who may have written a perceived eloquent perspective either as it's always of interest to hear different opinions or enquiries. I think the main concern expressed on this thread is when a member asks for opinions but then doesn't even bother to come back to the thread when there are responses. Sometimes an individual becomes completely dismissive simply because others refuse to agree with their own view of the world. As such there is no real discussion to move forwards or room to consider any other views other than their own.

    Most of us, I'm sure do hold strong opinions and as such will try and give evidence or references as to why these opinions are held. The choice then is to either potentially take these on board or disagree citing opposing evidence or references. Often, it's difficult to form any definitive opinion especially when different sides have compelling arguments and that's fine too. I personally try and take the parts that hold some resonance and discard the rest or at the very least try and remain open minded.
  18. Amy

    Amy Member

    Happy belated Birthday to you Mac!
  19. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    thanks - I had a great weekend. :)
    Amy likes this.
  20. ShingingLight1967

    ShingingLight1967 Active Member

    mac!! Happy Happy birthday! I hope it was a fantastic time!

    In response to the people that come and find solace, I am one.. who, came here in a time where I needed answers to my questions. As I have said before, I was desperate and I found this safe place (maybe through guidance) where I could ask questions and hopefully get some answers.

    I did have to put it away for awhile, for several reasons, but I do try and check in, and offer what I can. I have been so blessed by the people I have meet here, for the information that I was given, and the new paths that I have been sent down because of this site. (Why yes, I will be embarking on the study of physics this summer as a part of my studies in this field)

    Amore, I completely understand what you are saying. When I first arrived here, I introduced my self (after a little bit of reading through the information here) but didnt dive into posts until I was a little more comfortable. But these are the best people, and will teach you a lot! I have been here for over a year, and I dont think I would have survived without each and everyone.

    So.... Happy birthday Mac... and thank you!

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