1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Afterlife Forums is an online, interactive community designed to give seekers direct access to prominent researchers, to afterlife literature, and to one another in order to foster both spiritual growth and public interest in life after death.

lost my 4 year old to awful drowning 3 months ago..

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by Jessica, Jun 29, 2011.

  1. I recently found this site while on one of my many web searches for information and answers regarding where my baby is, whether or not hes safe and happy and any real way to communicate with him. Since his accident I have been racked with guilt that I was not there to save him when he fought for his life...and have a horrible fear that the tragic way he died might have left him earthbound. I pray more since I lost him than I ever had before and am trying meditation. I tell him I love him and miss him everyday as well as how sorry I am that I didnt save him when he needed mommy. Is there anyone out there that can relate or offer any help or advice?
  2. Andrew

    Andrew Guest

    Welcome, Jessica, to Afterlifeforums.com! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! You should know that, not only your son safe and happy, but he doesn't blame you in the least! Here is what actual scientific evidence and after death contact have told us about situations such as yours:

    1. Children generally have a low risk of becoming earthbound:
    You're correct, some people who suffer traumatic deaths do get confused and become earthbound, while others may inject themselves into a passing pregnant woman and reincarnate immediately. This is generally not the case with children however. They are generally better connected to the Afterlife, since their world views are still developing and they have been only been here for a short time. Even Jesus, whose teaching are amazingly consistent with afterlife evidence even though those of mainstream christianity are not, knew that children got into heaven easily. He said in Matthew 10:15 "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." I don't normally reference Jesus's quotes because a lot of people link them with religion but, if you look at the Jesus's quotes in the Gospels and ignore Christianity's input on them, you see that what he says is true. So fret not, my friend, your child is in the afterlife as we speak.

    2. Deceased children are raised in a special environment:
    Children who die before they are mature often go to a special part of the afterlife where they are raised in the most loving way imaginable. In fact, it's so wonderful that some people who've seen it wish they had died as child as well! Their childhood growth takes only a few earth years there, and they are raised by advanced, loving beings.

    3. There are no grudges or blame in the afterlife:
    When someone dies, one of the first tasks they have to accomplish is forgiving everyone who has ever wronged them. So, even if your son did blame you (which I highly doubt), that blame is gone. When it's your time move on, you will be greeted by a young adult son, who is overjoyed to see you!

    4. Your son is likely trying to communicate with you:
    Most deceased people (including children) make attempts to contact their living loved ones within the first year of their death. Most likely, he has tried or is trying to contact you in some way. It is hard for someone in the afterlife to appear to us in the physical realm, so it is unlikely that his communication would be this bold, but try to be aware of subtle things. For example, it is easy for dead people to leave us coins and feathers. Often, the coins will have an important date, such as the person's birth or death. Try to be open to communication.

    Your son is fine, dear Jessica. He loves you completely and will be waiting for you as a young adult! Here are some things you might want to try to facilitate communication between you and him.

    1. Start to forgive yourself:
    I don't know the circumstances of your son's drowning, or where you were when it happened, but it is important that you slowly start to forgive yourself and move away from blame. Your child doesn't blame you, and neither should you!

    2. Try to slowly move away from grief:
    As hard as it sounds, it is important that you not grieve forever. A lot of the time, communication from a recently dead person is hindered by grief. Try to focus more on the fact that he is okay and that you will be with him again, rather than on the fact that he is not with you right now physically.

    3. Talk to him:
    It is important to communicate with him, so that he will communicate with you. Talk to him either physically with your lips, or simply in your head. Update him on your life and what's going on. It will make you feel better. You don't have to go any place special to communicate with him. He can hear you and read your thoughts whenever he wants, no matter where you are.

    I hope this helps, dear friend! I also suggest that, if you haven't already, you read Roberta Grimes's book The Fun of Dying. It is a quick read (only about 90 pages of large type) and it covers both evidence for the afterlife, and wondrous descriptions of it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2011
  3. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear Jessica, I am so sorry! As a mother and grandmother, I can only imagine how you are feeling. It breaks my heart. All that I can do to try to help is to give you answers to your questions which are not just based in my own beliefs, but rather are firmly based in fact. I have spent my life studying more than 150 years of afterlife evidence which is so abundant and detailed and consistent that it is possible for us now to understand the death process and what happens after death in great detail. And fortunately, the afterlife evidence offers answers to two important questions: Why did this happen? And how is your son doing now? Here is what I have learned:

    1) Nearly all deaths are planned. This is true of even what seem to be accidental deaths. We all plan our exit-points into our life-plans. Moreover, we have been told repeatedly by advanced beings that when an infant or a young child dies, he is always a very advanced being who has given his brief life and premature death to his parents as an important spiritual lesson. Always. These children often have either a twin or a sibling close in age (but not always). They are generally kind and wise and beautiful, far beyond their tender ages: a friend who lost a son to drowning at the age of two told me that the family cat had been terrified of the twin who survived, but would come and purr in the lap of the child who was going to leave the family early. Sometimes these children will be reborn into the same family, and for several reasons I think that this particular boy came back to this family; but, again, that doesn't always happen. Just please know that we are told that deaths of young children always are planned events meant to help the parents to grow spiritually. So there is nothing you could have done to change what happened, dear Jessica. Please don't blame yourself!

    2) Young children who die are heavenly treasures. After so much research, I can tell you exactly how dying felt to your little boy. Even before he could feel distressed, a child-sized angel beckoned him out of his body and took his hand and playfully led him into a gorgeous Summerland village full of happy children and beautiful young substitute mommies and daddies to care for and love them. As soon as he arrived, they engaged him in play - he never had a minute to feel sad about anything. Later on, a young woman took him into her lap and explained to him that very soon he would see his mom and dad again, but meanwhile he could stay here and play and be happy with all the other children. The people who care for children in the Summerland are carefully chosen and carefully trained, and the villages where the children are raised are strictly off-limits to everyone else. No trauma or unhappiness is permitted there - every child is raised with nothing but perfect love. They grow up at whatever pace they like, but since they are all advanced beings they generally choose to grow up fairly quickly. As they grow, they are able to look in on their families, and they still feel themselves to be part of the family circle. When you see your son again, he will be a young adult who feels as close to you as if he had grown up in your house. He will always love you as his mother. For the rest of your life, he will be your guardian spirit.

    - I realize that all of this is thin comfort, dear Jessica. We want to raise our own children! But your beloved son is God's child too, and God is raising him now. He is happy and safe, and no harm ever can come to him again. If you have questions, please ask them and we will try to answer them for you. Please consider yourself hugged by all of us!
  4. Jessica, My heart goes out to you. I lost a brother very tragically in a school fire when I was 5 years old. Once when I was in my late teens I was up high on a ladder painting windows, I had a dizzy spell and thought that I was going to fall off the ladder. I felt this overwhelming presence of my brother like a guardian angel, it's hard to explain the feeling. My head cleared, I climbed down the ladder safely, and was never in doubt about his presence again. Vita makes an excellant suggestion, 'Talk to him'.

    With Lovingkindness,
  5. My condolences to you Jessica, this must have been so hard for you. I agree that you should not blame yourself for this, although that's easier said than done. But like the others have posted, just remember that he is in a wonderful, happy place now and you will see him again.

Share This Page