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Looking for answers

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by Greystone, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. Greystone

    Greystone New Member

    Hello,

    I am new here, but have been searching for a while for answers or insight may be a better word.

    Almost a year and a half ago, I woke with an intensely sad feeling one morning. I found myself thinking about someone I had a relationship with almost 40 years ago. We had been engaged, but I was certainly not at a stage in life where I should have been, .You could say I was a bit on the wild side, to put it mildly. Anyway, my drinking and carrying on led to our demise, and though it took me a long time to get my act together, I met and married a wonderful girl and have been married 31 years this month. No regrets. However I could not stop thinking about this other person, so I did a little research and found out that she had passed on in 1989 at age 40. She too had been married, but I got several signs that it was her contacting me. First was the thought of her, I had sort of shut that part of my life out. Though I wanted to always apologize for being so thoughtless, I never did. That's a big regret. I actually grieved like it had just happened. I found a pair of glasses I had not realized I'd lost on a road on my farm that I travel everyday on my tractor, and they were laying right in the path. I hadn't seen them for about a year and there they were. I had a very distinct tapping on my back one afternoon, different and unique not like a regular tap. I was in a store not too long after and someone was calling "Sonny come here" over and over. I have not heard that name in years, but that's what she called me back then (kind of an inside joke because she was 2 years older than me). Then I will swear I saw her silhouette behind a fence on my farm one early morning. I just want to believe so badly that it was all real, but find myself trying to explain it all away. All this happened with about a 2 week period and then nothing again. Was it just letting me know where she was and that she's ok? Was it all coincidence, though I tend to think not? And why so long after her passing? I know I have a lot of reading to do to try and come to grips with this. Its both exciting and unnerving at the same time. Any thoughts would be welcome.
     
  2. LachlanMac

    LachlanMac New Member

    Really good story and thank you for sharing it.

    Everyone is different and has their own experiences. To me, it sounds more than coincidence but all that matters is you believe it to be one way.

    As for the timing, I could think of numerous reasons behind it. If I have realized anything over the last few years, it's that the world is more perfect than we know and the timing was most likely intended.
    Maybe you were ready to accept something like this. The fact that thoughts also can be felt when directed at an individual who has passed on makes this more of a reality.

    2 weeks, mission complete. It's obviously led you here.
     
  3. Greystone

    Greystone New Member

    I do believe you are right LachlanMac, seems as though the timing was intentional. I am just not sure how to sort out all these feelings. It was such a long time ago, but now it seems all so real again. I'm looking forward to learning a lot more here on the site. Thanks for your response.
     
  4. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    Greystone,
    I agree with LachlanMac. I too am convinced that many things that "occur" for a reason are related to the "timing" of when it happens. This soul may be trying to connect for some reason. Mikey feels this soul may be trying to help you find closure with everything in that regard. She is also letting you know that she is alright! It is a great experience that you have had and it can't be denied, no doubt. You know when it is real. You can feel it.
    Thank you so much for sharing. I believe you had a good dose of "spiritual communication"! Pretty neat I must say!
    Carol and Mikey "in Spirit"
     
  5. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Welcome, Greystone! I agree with both Carol & Mikey and LachlanMac here - this seems to me to have been a real set of communications from someone who has been dead for a surprisingly long time. What happened to you is unusual in a number of ways, but both the duration of her delay before getting in touch with you and the fact that the emotional tie between you doesn't seem to have been intense at her death stand out in my mind. Quite unusual! The question is: why now??

    Here are my own thoughts:

    1) Time does not exist where she is. Whenever the timing of a communication seems odd, we have to remember this fact first of all! So a long delay is not especially strange, although I agree that it is unusual.

    2) She may be doing spiritual repair-work of her own. We cannot know how large you loomed in her mind after your engagement went wrong, but it is possible that she harbored some residual feelings - anger, resentment, grief, guilt, what-have-you - that she has been working through, both during the rest of her life here and afterward. Her contacting you now may be a positive act of forgiveness on her part that helps with her own healing.

    3) She may be concerned that your unresolved memories will make it harder for you to forgive yourself. You and I likely are about the same age - sixties somewhere - and at this age we are beginning the process of examining and packing up our lifetime of memories. We might not graduate for twenty or thirty years more, but we are beginning to prepare for what comes next. It is clear that you have some pretty serious unresolved feelings about this woman, and you may feel more guilt than you realize - and it is likely, too, that you and she have been talking about this during your nighttime out-of-body forays. Perhaps you both agreed that it was time for you to unpack those old memories and forgive yourself (and her), and you decided that she would give you signs that you could recognize during your waking hours to prompt the beginning of your forgiveness process.

    - Or there may be other explanations too. But no matter why it is happening as it is, this series of communications from an old and dear friend is a great gift to you, dear Learning! Take it happily as it is intended, hold it close, and let it ease and comfort your mind. Work on forgiving yourself completely for things that happened long ago so you will be ready to greet the next phase of your eternal life with the unreserved joy that you deserve!
     
  6. Greystone

    Greystone New Member

    Thank you all for your insights and thoughts. Its hard not knowing the reasons, thats for sure. However, you are all right when you say to cherish the fact that I had some apparent contact. I treasure that more than anything. It makes me feel special that she remembered us after all. And yes I have a lot of unresolved feelings, but didn't even realize that I did until she visited. I had completely shut that period out of my life, not intentionally though. I just never dealt with it the way I should have. This is quite the roller coaster ride. I just wanted her to know that I was sorry, how much she had meant to me, and that now I am sure it was largely because of her that I finally got my act together and became a decent fellow. Wish I had gone back and told her that when I had the chance. I guess there is a lot of guilt flying around here, I sure will work on that. And your right, there was no intense feeling at the time of her death. My life was just chugging along, you know how they say, life happens. But I had not really though about that period of my life for many many years. So I guess it is time to come to terms. Thanks again for all the input
     
  7. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    Greystone,
    You can still tell her how you feel now! They hear us! Talk to her out loud and let her know how you feel. It will be good for you and bring you peace. :) Mikey tells me loved ones in Heaven want to help us on our journey here. :) The connection continues!
    Carol and Mikey "in Spirit"
     
  8. Greystone

    Greystone New Member

    Carol and Mikey,

    Thank you, I have done that. Actually I talk to her almost everyday, so I guess I am in this resolution process. I just don't get why there is such a strong connection now, after all this time, though it is an awesome feeling that she thought enough of us to make contact. And maybe like Roberta said, its time to unpack the old feelings and do some sorting out. In any case I am trying to make sense of it all. Thanks again.
     

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