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Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by Bill Z, Apr 1, 2018.

  1. Bill Z

    Bill Z Established Member

    I am in a similar position to several others here and I really don't see anything to live for. I am not suicidal as I realize that that is not a solution so I will sadly live out my life in service to others as my focus. It lessens the pain of the loss of my beloved .

    I just read this in a wonderful new book by Karen Noe:
    Nothing in Nature lives for itself. Rivers don't drink their own water. Trees don't eat their own fruit. The sun doesn't shine for itself. A flowers fragrance is not for itself. Living for others is the rule of nature.

    Sure it can be rationalized that the flowers fragrance attracts bees to pollinate and procreate but it is through the giving of the flower not taking, but giving.

    With what's left of my life and I pray it's not much, I will do what I can to give back and help others.
    kim, Monika, Ski and 3 others like this.
  2. Bill Z

    Bill Z Established Member

    Giving back makes that constant crushing feeling of Her physical loss a little less painful.

    I might be playing music again. Last time I really played from my heart was music for my beloved and She prepared to go back home. Since than I lost the interest/ability. Thinking about teaching again. I have the opportunity to plant a garden in my apartment yark. There are small children here, it's an urban area, if I can give them a love of the garden, the dirt, the smell of the ground and the plants as they slowly appear, if I could do that I can combine my knowledge of gardening with Susie's incredible teaching talent and wisdom I would be giving back and my time here would gladly be so much shorter.
    Amore, Monika and Ski like this.
  3. Ski

    Ski New Member

    That's really sweet and wise, Bill. Those are lovely ideas...just make sure you open up and truly experience everything you do. I love helping others, it makes life worth living. It brightens up my day, and it brightens up others day, too. Remember when you were a kid, and just doing simple things made you so happy....that's the way to live, love and make friends.
    Amore and ravensgate like this.
  4. kim

    kim Regular Contributor

    I love that thought Bill. If only humans could live like that. You have lifted my consciousness with this post. I look forward to leaving the earth realm also, but I know it will best to let it come in its own time. We are here for some reason whatever that may be.
    Amore likes this.
  5. Monika

    Monika Established Member

    Bill, that is lovely said and very truth. And i will definitely try to find and read this book you mentioned :)
  6. Bill Z

    Bill Z Established Member

    Thank you everyone. The book is "We Consciousness" by Karen Noe.
  7. Monika

    Monika Established Member

    What instrument do you play Bill?
  8. Bill Z

    Bill Z Established Member

    Hi Monika, Double bass, guitar, 'cello and some percussion. Do you play an instrument?
    Monika likes this.
  9. Monika

    Monika Established Member

    I used to play Lithuanian traditional plucked string instrument called kanklÄ—s. I really dont know english name for it... it has 36 (concert) 42 (bass) strings. It is traditional in all Baltic states and similar instrument egsist in nordic countries. Also piano and panpipes (another traditional instrument in Lithuania). I played for 7 years but then i just quited because i decided that to play music is not for me. Never touched any instrument again.
  10. Bill Z

    Bill Z Established Member

    There's a lot of stuff on youtube with the kankles, harps are such beautiful instruments. Have you considered playing again? Susie transitioned in June and the last time I really played the bass and guitar was while She was preparing for Her sweet journey home. I did a gig in October but the fire had gone out, it was pretty horrible but I unpacked my bass last week because I might do one more gig for (hopefully) mostly children. I am doing what my love was best at , teaching.
    As I get closer to Her transition date in June I cry more. But I tell Her not to worry, my pain is temporary, my tears are a testament to how much She is loved.
    GoldDustWoman622 and Monika like this.

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