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Is She Aware of me?

Discussion in 'General Afterlife Discussions' started by DenverGuy, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    I agree.
  2. Skye

    Skye Member

    Hello DenverGuy, My condolences for the loss of your partner. Going through the grieving process is different for each individual, many thoughts and feelings will rise to the surface, making you feel as if you're on an emotional roller coaster, as you come to terms with and adapt to the loss of your beloved partner.
    Unfortunately there is nothing whatsoever you could have said or done that would have made it possible for her to stay here. Try not to let guilt overwhelm you with this. One thing is for sure, her pain and suffering are no more. She knows you love her and took care of her under such devastating circumstances. She will be aware of how sad and deeply upset you are about what happened and how much you truly miss and love her.
    The pain which you caused her would have been put aside, as she has gained more of an understanding of why things happened the way they did. Have no doubt, she loves you just as much now as much as she did when she was here physically by your side.
    Talk to her as much as you feel the need to. When you talk to her be confident she will hear. Your words don't need to be said out loud, talk silently if you wish. You may in time become aware of subtle signs which indicate she is around.
    She wouldn't want you to hold on to the hurt and pain of the past, she would lovingly encourage you to let it all go. She would want you to enjoy the memories of happier times you both shared together and let them become the driving force towards helping you overcome the grief of her passing. She would also want you to know you can and will get through this.
    Where ever love is shared be reassured it will always remain. There can be no separation when it comes down to real love, not in this world, or in the next.
    There isn't a set time for grief, there's no rushing through it. As you already know some days will be better than others. One day, some time in the future, you will be aware of enjoying life, once again though don't feel guilty when this time comes This doesn't mean you will ever forget the love of your life. It means you are beginning to live life in a different way, and are ready to take the next step towards moving forward.
    Best wishes for the future.
    enby and Widdershins3 like this.
  3. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I hope you guys will take the opportunity to ask skye about what she's written and quiz her in her role as a (spiritual) medium as you North Americans term what we Brits just call a 'medium'.
  4. Goldie

    Goldie Member

    Beautiful words, Skye. Thank you.

    Thank you mac for pointing Skye out. I just thought Skye was a wise, caring person. I find it an anomaly to see "wise, spiritual, loving and medium" in the same sentence for mediums anymore; at least here in the US. It looks more like a bad business, capitalizing on the grieving, leaving us broker and sadder. I've been looking for those qualities in a medium, and failed miserably to find any. I gave up. So now I don't even ask. I want to, but afraid their version of spiritual and mine will be quite different, disappointing me by telling me my husband has titanium wings, wants me to forget the romantic part of our relationship, find my scattered soul, he doesn't have a clue what's going on and wandering in darkness, and the contradictions and insanity goes on beyond the desire to share any more. I don't need to hear any of that. It's spiraled my grief deeper with confusion to hear what my heart longs to hear from him.

    I see spiritual as open to love and God (or whatever people choose to call God), following truth, wisdom, discernment, etc. Most of the ones I have dealt with think chakras, auras, reiki are spiritual. To me those are secondary and gifts. Our world has forgotten love in its most intimate and family building ways, especially in the rush of marketing for the popular New Age Mediums telling stories that feel so disconnected from real love and care that is personal for each of us.

    Skye, I like that your words are very much in line with Swedenborg's. I enjoy reading his works. So can I ask you for a reading? Is that kosher to request on this group?
    enby, DenverGuy and milahanna like this.
  5. Skye

    Skye Member

    Hello Goldie, I am sorry for the delay in replying to your post. Unfortunately I have to decline your request for a reading. I haven't given readings of evidential mediumship for a long while and at this time I know I wouldn't do it justice either to yourself, your husband or your loved ones, if I were to do so now.

    However, it saddens and concerns me to read of the experiences you have had with mediums. I also found it disheartening to learn you didn't have the opportunity to find a measure of comfort and/or healing during your time spent with them.

    I can understand why you have given up looking for a reputable medium in the US. In the UK there are an increasing number of people who claim to be psychic mediums, yet unfortunately when they work it becomes obvious they are anything but. To be fair in my view, psychics do not have the spiritual power which a medium needs to be able to blend with those living in the spirit world, and their service is of no use to the bereaved.

    Goldie, I hope you are fortunate to one day hear the words your husband wishes to share with you. Mediumship is a sacred art, a spiritual communication full of love, understanding and compassion. To receive anything less is simply not mediumship and is best ignored.

    Apologies once again.
    Goldie likes this.
  6. Goldie

    Goldie Member

    Thank you, Skye for the above reply. Very kind. But, I had to ask just in case.

    Seems it's been a dead end road for me (pardon the pun) in finding a decent, straight forward medium. Tired of trying to fit pieces of vague readings to the reality, or not hearing the word "love" mentioned in any personal way, wrapping my brain around all manner of ideas I'd rather not dive into from their personal beliefs. Because of all that, I've decided to back off and clear my head. I feel they have spun my grief into a hellish nightmare view of my husband and the afterlife (ambiguous obscurity of love and heaven, but comes out distant, impersonal and callous from their words, attitude, and current belief rhetoric) and I need to regain some perspective by removing myself from them.

    I'm seeing all manner of New Age ideas floating around, especially from mediums. You appear to be different, refreshing.
    Seen this 25 years ago, but sadly, the ideas touted then have morphed into a new package that people like better (Ex: 11:11 used to be the coming earth changes; now it means our loved ones are thinking of us). Or how several mediums will give me a wide range of readings, and none are accurate to my husband, nor match the others, watching them change their presumptions of him based on little tidbits I offer from their questions. Or hypocritically shoveling the reincarnation and pre-life planning rhetoric at me, when I specifically ask them not to bring it up, but dare I say I don't believe without arguments from them? I want only the here and now. Aside: Just because a large group of people believe something, doesn't make it accurate or true. It's a futile debate when all rationale has gone out the window. Like fundamental Christians, same attitude prevails: it's their way or their way. People have used the New Age movement to justify all manner of illogical and relativist ideas. I'd rather not argue with them because my logic gets tossed out the window before opening their minds to consider anything other than what they want to believe. No questions. Mediums in books I've read (current popular ones) and those I met personally have proved to be the worst so far, using "Well, you will find out" or "I only say what the spirits tell me" or "I know these things". As Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid". My hand is slapped to my forehead.

    What's truly dying in this world is the use of our minds to think things through. Part of our free-will, having the right to gather all information before making choices/decisions. I always defend the reality of free-will to live and find the truth. I'm certainly not discounting unexplained experiences, because I've had plenty, but please, can we start with reasoning together based on some basic precepts, such as we all have the need for love and peace, rather than slip in irrelevant beliefs during a reading? They open a can of worms, patting themselves on the back ignorantly assuming they are helping, rather than keeping it clean, honest, and pure. Myself and others go to hear from our loved ones for comfort, instead we end up with a feel good or feel bad concept thrown at us that simply muddies the waters of a good reading. I'm tired of the disrespect, especially after requesting they keep certain ideas and subjects out of the reading, and it goes unheeded.
    enby and milahanna like this.
  7. Skye

    Skye Member

    I can understand and appreciate the reasons why you feel the need to back off from mediums after reading your experiences. Quite honestly, if a medium is not giving an accurate description with supporting, personal evidence that proves they are in communication with the person whom they claim to be, then I too would walk away and question as to whether or not they have mediumistic abilities. The giving of information (feeding a medium) is something I would not recommend people do. It’s the job of a medium to provide the evidence, not a sitter. Saying yes or no is sufficient enough for a medium to know whether they are receiving and delivering the information from a spirit communicator correctly or not.

    The 2-way exchange of mind to mind information in mediumship is a very subtle process. Initially it’s easy to think a spirit is communicating, when in reality we discover it’s the mind of the potential medium at play. Should this not be addressed, it’s very likely the aim of mediumship goes out the window and the bereaved will never find comfort or solace in their grief.

    The practise and demonstration of mediumship has nothing whatsoever to do with a medium; they’re simply a conduit connecting the two worlds. To use it as a platform for their personal beliefs and opinions is shocking to say the least.

    I’ll refrain from commenting on The New Age movement other than to say “I believe most of their practitioners have done far too much more harm than good”.
    milahanna likes this.
  8. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Someone here (I think) thinks of 'New Age' like 'sewage'. (or something like that)

    That tickled me! :D
    milahanna likes this.
  9. Skye

    Skye Member

    That's one way of looking at it, mac.:)
    milahanna likes this.
  10. Goldie

    Goldie Member

    I do on several points from what I've seen the ideas have done to relationships, marriages and families. First hand experience and witnessing. Not everything, mind you, but people have used some of the ideologies to create narcissism and dysfunction for their own purposes. I watched it confound and confuse. When I've tried to pin people down about things they say or things I've heard others say, I ended up hearing a host of varied answers that contradicted each other. For instance, I've heard people say that the person causing another harm has made a self-sacrifice to give the "victim" a lesson.
  11. Widdershins3

    Widdershins3 Active Member

    Glad you enjoyed my "NewAge rhymes with sewage" quip, Mac. It's kind of flippant and I hesitated to use it here, since there are perfectly lovely people who consider themselves "New Age." But unfortunately the group is tainted by the self-deluded, the frankly nuts and the odious, despicable frauds.

    I was part of the New Age Movement for a long time, but was turned off by the holier-than-thou contingent and by what I call the "Bliss Ninnies" who swan about in floating draperies and refuse to really face grief or any kind of unpleasantness. Unfortunately, denial is not a panacea for very long. I'd rather face it head-on and deal with the fall-out as early as possible, myself. It's "good work" as a Bay Area channeler used to say many years ago. I think it may be very basic work of an ensouled human being and no matter how awful it feels as we make our way through it, it's worth it. Anger is just a stage, but since it comes early, it's possible to get stuck in it and, metaphorically speaking, poison yourself. I know, because I did it with one of my losses and I'm still recovering from the damage I did to myself emotionally.

    Have any of you who've been burned by self-described mediums tried visiting a Spiritualist church where the clergy are mediums? It took me so many long years to find one, but now I visit it as often as I can (in San Francisco in Pacific Heights). I swear it's like balm to my soul. But of course each congregation will vary a bit, so if you find several in your area, I hope you'll visit all of them.
    Goldie likes this.
  12. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I like your way of relating your 'newage' experiences! :D I'm less-than-impressed by what I've heard from those 'in the movement' but have no experience of it so I try not to judge harshly.

    I'm a three-decades Modern Spiritualist hence can identify with what you've personally found in San Francisco. I must not promote my persuasion here, however, so I'll simply say that although I'm no longer a churchgoer I am no less a supporter of them and all they can provide. :)
    Widdershins3 likes this.
  13. Widdershins3

    Widdershins3 Active Member

    I didn't want to break the rules about not promoting religion here, but look how many people in this forum have become disillusioned about mediums! It's painful to read about. I know from personal experience that there are genuine, sincere and talented mediums working both within the Spiritualist movement and outside of it. But it's so hard to find the real ones that I hope to give seekers a direction in which to search where the odds might be more in their favor.

    There are also research institutes that test and certify mediums, like Dr. Schwartz's and also the Windbridge Institute. And there's an author (Bob Olson? Something like that) who's interviewed many mediums and only recommends the ones he feels are genuine. Most modern mediums work over the phone and some even will read via email, so it's likely that a connection could be made, with a little searching online. I've been trying to find someone myself, so if anyone was willing to give a personal review of people they've tried, I'd appreciate it. I'm severely phone-phobic, unfortunately, but the email option might work for me and most other people could probably use the phone.

    Boy, I do wish Skye was still doing readings...
  14. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    You are a really remarkable writer! Have you thought about writing a book?
    Widdershins3 likes this.
  15. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    For those who might be confused about why this discussion of spiritualism is okay when pushing Christian dogmas is not, our ban on religious discussions arose when we had people coming here to preach. No one in this thread is preaching! Instead, they are offering a practical solution to the problem of people needing and having trouble finding good mediums. Of course that's okay!

    And for those seeking a medium, there is a tab at robertagrimes.com that lists some options, and Susan Sanderford was too busy to want to be listed there but other than Susanne Wilson (whose book is closed) she is the best medium I have even been read by personally. I am about to have another reading with her, and if she is still as good as she was five years ago then I will certainly suggest her here. I agree with those who wish we had a lot more options!
    Widdershins3 likes this.
  16. Widdershins3

    Widdershins3 Active Member

    What a wonderful compliment to wake up to, Roberta! Thank you. I minored in English at college a geologic age ago and have written some fiction, though nothing publishable. And I journal every day. I'm having one of those "interesting life times" and friends who are writers keep telling me I should write a book, but I keep putting it off. I won't try an autobiography as long as any of the really scary people from my childhood through 30's are gone and the worst of them is miraculously still alive. And my personal psychic experiences are not that many in number, though several were really amazing.

    I'm really, really thankful that you're willing to put so much time, energy and talent into your books. And I remind myself of all the mediums I've heard say that the skills we work on in this life may possibly bloom in the next.

    There's another online list of personally certified mediums by Mark Ireland, an author and bereaved father, not a psychic, who's written several books that I've read with interest. I also heard him speak at the Spiritualist church in San Francisco and I believe him to be on the level. The medium, Tina Powers, who accompanied him that day gave me a brief but evidential reading. And mediums have good days and bad days, just like the rest of us. A British guy named Tom Ford gave me a jaw-dropping reading at the church one year, but the next year he was way off. Which makes shelling out several hundred dollars a fraught experience...
  17. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Writing is indeed something that we need to hone, but having a propensity for it is like having perfect musical pitch: either you can think and hear the words and know when they're right, or you can't. I'm sure that eventually you will write!
    Widdershins3 likes this.
  18. Widdershins3

    Widdershins3 Active Member

    I just found another list of mediums on the Helping Parents Heal website. Click on "Providers" to get to the page. They vary widely in services, so read their individual pages on what they do, how they do it and the cost. I even found 2 who will work via email, which is unusual, but vital for phone-phobes like I am. If anyone here knows of other mediums who will work via text or email, please share their names with me. I've been saving money all year and hope to get some readings this summer.
  19. Goldie

    Goldie Member

    I used Bob Olson's site to find 3 mediums. 2 of them were off, way off. One responded to me and I asked her a few questions about her "style" (Thinking I should be more discerning. I asked her if she asks questions) and she never got back to me. Olsen's site does not post negative reviews either, because I and other have done so and they never showed up. Furthermore, for a medium to be listed on the top, they pay extra for that. It doesn't mean they are a good medium.

    I've been to a few "good" mediums and found them inputting information about my deceased where I did not recognize any part of them. One did the typical "grandmother", hair in a bun with apron cooking apple pies thing (like a script they follow). None of MY grandmothers. Most tell me things that indicate my loved one has moved onto greener pastures, decimating the whole point of family and married love. Leaving me behind, leaving me out, forgetting me as if our attachments on earth are pretty much pointless. And none have even come close to making any mention of a huge situation and mess that I'm left dealing with related to my loved one, that they carelessly left me to deal with...forcing me into a downward spiral of heavy, complicated grief, wondering if I was ever loved or used instead. Thanks! I feel so consoled. I wish I'd die. The sad part is when I mention the part of needing more information from reliable sources so I can KNOW if I was loved or used, I hear the same lame logical fallacy being touted: if you have to ask then you obviously were used. Gee. Thanks for the "wisdom". Where are people's heads these days? I blame the school systems for dumbing everyone down, not teaching critical thinking skills and living off of media, tv and whatever else is fed to them in mainstream.

    Anyway, I refuse to pay the prices for mediums. I'm living on a very small amount of money and no income, and no prospect of employment at my age. Most reading I got were group readings, phone, or gimmes without asking for them. I paid $150 for one out of desperation to get a decent message. 2 hours later and nothing was said that I didn't already know. Another medium said to a person in a group when they were trying to get the truth, "I'm here as an advocate for the deceased". Protecting us from the truth? Seriously? I've been left crying so many times that I can't trust any of them. I don't trust the afterlife anymore. It feels callous, indifferent, disconnected and lots of words like "love" spewed out with careless messages. I see NO wisdom. I see NO intelligence. I see lots of guessing based on a little bit of info I give. (learned to say NOTHING) I request to all of them to NOT talk about reincarnation. Guess what? They disrespect me and do it anyway.

    The ONLY thing that gave me some hope and comfort was the old book, "A Wanderer in the Spirit Lands" by Franchezzo. Sadly, he didn't tell the rest of the story at the end, which I really wanted to know. You know, did he get with the girl? Did they live together? etc.
    enby likes this.
  20. Goldie

    Goldie Member

    I called 2 spiritualist churches a few times that are 4 and 6 hours away, respectively. No calls back. Emailed them twice. No response. I'm destined to be stuck listening to the rhetoric of the afterlife.

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