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Is She Aware of me?

Discussion in 'General Afterlife Discussions' started by DenverGuy, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Active Member

    I hope this isn't repetitive, but 7 1/2 months ago I lost the love of my life to breast cancer. I did everything I could to keep her here. It's a long story, but this has been extremely hard for me. Some weeks I get by with a reduced sense of normal, while thinking about her all the time. The past week has been exceptionally hard, though.

    I talk to her all the time - especially when I am walking the mile and a half to and from work, and all around the house. I tell her how sorry I am about what happened to her, how much I love and miss her, etc. I sleep with one of her gloves a lot of nights. Recently, I have been really upset, and I am struggling to keep it together at work. I am failing today.

    Earlier I had stupidly done some things to her (our relationship) that caused her a lot of pain. We did really well during our last three years. I deserve pain back - but not to this extent.

    Do you think that she still loves me as before, is aware of my sadness, my love for her, and knows of my desire to be with her forever some day? Sometimes when I'm crying so hard I can hardly breathe, I wonder if she sees me. When I walk home or to work I wonder if she can look way down and see me, alone, thinking about her, my face showing the pain that I'm feeling, and maybe feel some compassion for what I am going through. I know this is selfish.

    I just saw this: http://blairrobertson.com/7-afterlife-facts-that-you-need-to-know/

    I want to believe it.

    Thanks for reading this.
  2. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear friends, many of those that we used to think were dead say that they don't miss us in the same way that we miss them, for one simple reason: they know we're not dead. And even beyond that, they can be right here next to us! But in fact, the pain that we feel at their loss is apparently extremely painful for them. Extremely! If we are able to interact with them a little - to notice signs and thank them, and to talk about them with a smile - then apparently they are more comfortable being here. But if we are often in anguish and no matter what they do they can be of no help to us, then sometimes they will withdraw for a bit, apparently. For their own mental health. And who can blame them? There is no time where they are now, so from their perspective we will be together very soon, and meanwhile someone they deeply love is in terrible pain and they cannot make it better! You or I would want to avoid sharing that pain. And they are, after all, people. They don't like it any better than we would.
    Rising, Widdershins3 and Goldie like this.
  3. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Active Member

    Wow, Goldie. I don't know how to thank you. That was so well put! I am going to print this out and read it again and again. I saw your post a few days ago and I am sorry that it has taken me so long to respond. I can't handle this at work as I get too choked up, and I procrastinated at home. Now I have an evening to devote to this sad, but necessary, pursuit.

    You get it.

    I am so sorry that you're dealing with this nightmare, also. Your post made me feel a lot better. I have so much I have to say to you and ask you that I don't know where to start. I am go to post something in the After-Death Communication section if you'd like to look at it.

    I read the book about Billy Fingers, and how he said that in the afterlife they're all just a bunch of light dancing around, not caring too much about us, etc. if I recall. That book didn't help.

    Did you think that some of Blair's comments made sense? I agree with you about the last comment of his. (I have seen several of the Swedenborg videos on YouTube (very good), and I know what you mean about Erin Pavlina).
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2017
    milahanna likes this.
  4. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Active Member

    Thanks, Roberta. I keep hearing what you're saying about how our anguish bothers them and pushes them farther away. It's a vicious cycle. But what I don't see is the alternative. We didn't break up with them. This is not something that either of us wanted. In my case, I truly lost the love of life. I am absolutely devastated, as are other people here. I am hardly the only one who is struggling with this.

    I sure as hell don't want Mila to feel anguish. And none of this is her fault. But I am a mess. I lost the most important person in my life! Recently I cried so much that one of my eyes was bloodshot for four or five days. And tomorrow is her birthday. I miss her desperately.

    But I'm not sure what I am supposed to do. How can I block that out? Pretend that I'm happy? I honestly don't know!
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2017
    milahanna likes this.
  5. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    If it helps, you should know that no researcher I have known has ever seen reports of people experiencing themselves and others in the Summerland as just sparks of light. On the very highest levels, yes: but soon after death and in the areas where nearly everyone resides, clearly no. Instead, the people and the surroundings look remarkably as if it all is happening on earth, with the wonderful exception that everything there is perfect!!
    Rising and DenverGuy like this.
  6. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Of course you can't block it. You're human, and you're grieving. You can, however, begin to forgive and accept it if you'll try, and even that little shift in your grief will be of help to her. So much of our reaction to things is our own reaction - it's not objective reality! If you would like a copy of a book that might help, please just email me at rgrimes@robertagrimes.com and I'll send you a PDF.
  7. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Active Member

    Thank you, Roberta. I have that book and I am starting to read it. I will also check out Dr. Hogan's book.
  8. milahanna

    milahanna New Member

    Right there with you, Denverguy. I don't want him to feel anguish either but I'm a bit upset at the idea that they would step back during our grief. I understand the reason that was given, but I wish that it would cause them to want to come through even more instead. I need to know he's ok. I need to know how he feels. Being told by others just isn't helping me with my fears.
    Goldie and DenverGuy like this.
  9. DenverGuy

    DenverGuy Active Member

    You're right on point, as usual!
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2017
    Goldie and milahanna like this.
  10. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Forgiveness isn't just about not blaming someone who has harmed you; actually, it is about getting past anything that has upset you. Losing a loved one involves strong negative emotions for most of us, including anger and feelings of guilt and regret as well as simple grief. If you would like a book that teaches general forgiveness and might help you, send me an email at robertagrimes.com and I'll send you a PDF.

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