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Is It Safe To Believe In the Afterlife In the Real World?

Discussion in 'General Afterlife Discussions' started by Myrna and Keith, Oct 11, 2018.

  1. I used to be a mild skeptic when it came to afterlife topics. Both my wife and I had paranormal experiences over the years, but nothing could break through my materialistic beliefs until my wife died six-months ago. About a month after her death she communicated with me to keep me from giving up. Since then I have completed Dr. Hogan’s ‘Guided Afterlife Connections’, read many books, watched many videos, began meditation/yoga again, and am currently completing Dr. Parisetti’s ‘Love Knows No Death’ manual. I also joined several afterlife groups including this one to be surrounded by like-minded people for support.

    Meanwhile (in the real world) I attended hospice newly bereaved groups and am currently attending a 10-week hospice bereavement support group with folks who obviously do not share our ‘ideas’ about the afterlife. I mentioned the ADC visit in the newly bereaved group and several people became angry with me. The facilitator attempted to tell the group that this was not an uncommon occurrence, but let’s just say it did not go well for me in that group after that and I stopped attending. The 10-week group just began and I did not feel it would be honest not to tell the group about the ADC, so once again “into the breach’ I rode. Everybody in the group is now looking at me like I have an exotic airborne STD (although everyone is very polite about my ‘delicate mental condition’). I’ve become uncertain if I can complete the 10-week group now? Oh and forget about mentioning any of this at the religious institution me and my wife frequented for years. I’m imagining a ‘burning at the stake’ reaction in that case.

    Granted I’m aware there are aspects of my personality that occasionally turn people off to me; but (until now) not whole groups of people! It’s been interesting, hurtful, and scary to witness the reaction in ‘normal’ people when I bring up any of the many ideas I’ve been absorbing the last five-months. Also I’m a little afraid to mention any of this to the family in case they decide to lock me up in assisted living and take away all my stuff (to keep it safe obviously).

    So here are my questions:

    How l do I live in this ‘Real’ world when I have learned it is anything but ‘Real’?

    How do I communicate with ‘normal’ people when I know they may over react to beliefs that are becoming the new bed-rock I’m building my house on?

    Do we stay ‘in the closet’ about everything we are learning about spirituality in order to protect ourselves?

    Being new to all this I would appreciate your advice and experiences. Thanks.
    Auras, kim marine, SashaS and 2 others like this.
  2. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I've read all you wrote but kept to what you've asked. :)

    So here are my questions:

    Most important is what YOU want before anyone should be giving advice.

    We 'believers' all live in this world and some, like you, are privileged to have a foot in each camp. It's nothing to do with 'real' - both worlds are as real as one-another. ALF members will have their own, personal approach but only you can decide what's right, what's comfortable, for you personally.

    If I'm facing someone struggling with bereavement I throw them a few crumbs. If they grab them and look for more I'll see what else they might find helpful. If they don't and turn away then I don't go any further. Your knowledge, your understanding, your experience is primarily for you. If you think you can help someone by using what you've found then why not consider giving it a try if you feel comfortable and capable? Not too much or too soon and remember it's not your duty to try. If it doesn't work as you'd like, stop and re-consider what you want to do next.

    That depends on what you want to do. When I've been in the USA only rarely have I mentioned my persuasion. I feel less inhibited home here in the UK. But Roberta takes an altogether different approach to everything. Perhaps between those two ways might be a way for you?
    Kurt and Myrna and Keith like this.
  3. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    I agree with all Mac has said. Personally, I don't ever really share my beliefs with anyone unless I think they can handle it. If you are in a group of grieving skeptics and mention this they will think you are teasing them.

    I have said elsewhere that what works for me is not for everyone. I'm such an opague and yet magnetic person that people find my beliefs fascinating. It makes them even more interested in me.

    I start off with the information that is easier to swallow.

    Structure of the afterlife, the meaning of life, spiritual advancement... are good places to start.

    If they are hooked on these crumbs, point out that all we know is based off of the mediums and their reaeares, thus mediumship is valid...

    If so, contacting loved ones is also.

    Start out in the mainstream and follow a slow path to the edge, while being magnetic and logical.

    Gauge their reaction.. any skepticism? Stop. You will burn a bridge.

    That's what works for me.
    Myrna and Keith likes this.
  4. Thanks for responding and your advice Kurt.
    Kurt likes this.
  5. Thanks Mac!
    Kurt likes this.
  6. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I hope you now have some helpful ideas. :)
    Kurt likes this.
  7. Ruby

    Ruby Active Member

    How ill-mannered of people to become angry, Keith. Before I had my experiences, and if I'd been in your bereavement group, I'd have thought you were nutty and nice.
    Myrna and Keith and Kurt like this.
  8. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    True. Sadly, I have seen the rest of the 1st world is nicer than America....

    But the second and third.... We are like mini Buddhas....
  9. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    Europe is so nice that I feel bad for you guys..... I have been told Europe will not exist in 30 years because you guys are so nice....

    I hope that's not true though....
    Roma and SashaS like this.
  10. Yes, I would have smiled, nodded, and thought: 'Wow, who let that guy out. Hopefully someone will get him his meds.' Life and death have a way of changing a person.
    Kurt and mac like this.
  11. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    It's best, in my view, not to take too much notice of what folk say about 'stuff'.... ;)

    It's almost certain that things in Europe will be different from how they currently are but as for it not existing well that's just conjecture. And who's to say what the USA will look like in three decades? :D
    Kurt likes this.
  12. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Kurt and Myrna and Keith like this.
  13. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    Murdering each other... Or like antebellum America so far as division goes.

    Not official civil war, more like the 60s.
  14. pandora97

    pandora97 Well-Known Member

    Don't think I'll be here to notice ;)
  15. Ruby

    Ruby Active Member

    I've been three times in America and always think the people are very friendly. Maybe that's the reason for Keith's dilemma: you folks express more than us reserved Europeans. Anyway, you have a fantastic country and great people; the current politics is a mere blip!
    I myself feel I've gone out on a limb by telling everyone about my experiences and people were embarrassed and sometimes scornful. But there's no going back. We can't deny it happened. The nature and aspects of these experiences have indicated to us that they were attempts to communicate and we would be doing our loved ones a disservice if we don't tell others. Why is it so little examined though? I know none of it can be measured and observed, so science isn't interested, but it isn't supposed to happen psychologically either. It's just arrogant to say it happens as a result of mental disorder. And it can't be so easily explained away in cases where the experiencer knows of the death before finding out through ordinary means. So why are researchers not more curious? Human perceptive abilities must be different to what's accepted. Scientists and psychologists experience these things too and are just as baffled as we are. Do they just keep quiet forevermore among their colleagues?
    kim marine, Kurt and Myrna and Keith like this.
  16. ,
    Ruby - I too wonder about my responsibility to the truth as I understand it? I told of my experiences in these groups because not to I felt would be dishonest with myself, my wife, my brother, and others (I think my wife and I have received help to communicate with each other. I'm not a medium.). However, my wife and bother would not want me to be hurt by this truth either so …? This is quite confusing. Like you say paranormal experiences are ubiquitous across all populations, cultures and times. So what is going on? Why the great mystery? As I said both my wife and I had paranormal experiences over the years, but even that could not break through my denial. Only her being on one-side and me on the other broke through that denial in me. I don't know if this is an American thing or not, but now I feel even more 'outside' my culture than I did before. I spent large portions of this life feeling like an outsider. One thing though - these new afterlife concepts feel healthy and right compared to the other 'outsider' choices I experienced over the years.
  17. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    In response to the last few questions I fear you'll struggle to find simple, definitive answers. Those questions have been asked many times before.

    There's no going back individually once you know the true situation - you can't 'not-know' after you've found it out but that's a personal issue and others may not had any such experience. Embarrassment, scorn, disbelief or non-belief are all possible and even likely reactions depending on who you speak to - been there, done that!

    Now I don't agree with this approach. You can adopt whatever stance you choose but communication by a loved one is for the person they're trying to reach. You're under no obligation to tell others about it but neither are you expected not to tell others. It's a matter purely of personal choice.
    Kurt, bluebird and Myrna and Keith like this.
  18. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Totally agree on the last point but you carry no reponsibility for disseminating "the truth". That's a matter of choice and preference.

    I spend about half my life in the US and the other in my homeland of the UK. I observe with interest American society or at least that I come into contact with. Over the years I have sometimes got into discussion with friends and casual contacts about survival et al but I tread more warily than I do in the UK. The ever-present influence of the American mainstream church is very noticeable for me. I can understand how an American 'who knows' might feel less 'in tune' with Americans who don't; as a Brit in the UK I feel no equivalent pressure.
    Kurt likes this.
  19. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I'm absolutely certain I won't, assuming I'm even still in this world. :D
    Kurt likes this.
  20. Thank you again Mac.
    I suspect the urge toward spiritual 'evangelism' might be a little stronger here in America? I've always found spiritual 'evangelism' quite obnoxious when it was aimed at me.
    I take away from your responses that maybe I need to sit with my new beliefs for awhile to become more comfortable with them. I think I can do that as long as I can communicate about them somewhere.
    I guess places life ALF are a good outlet.

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