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I'm so sad, i just need to speak

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Monika, Mar 19, 2018.

  1. mac

    mac Staff Member

    As incarnates we see the situation from a very limited perspective, mostly wholly unaware of the way life operates outside this dimension - and that's totally understandable.

    As has been pointed out here, relationships are determined by the love between individuals. If a pair decide to continue their previous, earth-life relationship after they have both passed over they are totally free to do that but no-one can force another into a relationship they do not wish to have - both parties have freewill in that and all other matters.
    GoldDustWoman622, kim and Monika like this.
  2. Monika

    Monika Well-Known Member

    Yes that of course must be freewill. And i can understand that maybe not all people who are married here are completely unconditionally loving each other. I see sometimes people stay together just because it is comfortable or safe or whatsoever. So for them this should be like a reviel to be fully freeto make their own decission and do not be forced to do anything against their own will. But for me it is so good to read what you wrote that we can choose by freewill to be together. I want this most of all and i know that he wants same and it is so important for us (especially for me because he probably already know little bit more then me) to understand that this is just temporary stage not be able to enjoy each others present fully :(
  3. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Monica, I can only share with you what has worked for me so far. In psychotherapy, I learned to respect, accept and HONOR my self with better self-esteem and self love so, nobody and nothing can bring me down or destroy me with their ignorant, mean or negative opinions, comments, judgements, stupidity, bad intentions, etc. UNLESS I foolishly allow them to. I am strong eough and wise enough to see right through the cruelty and stupidity of "well meaning" friends. I have no idea what will happen over in the Afterlife BUT I'm pretty sure it's good and positive and that my late wife and I will be together in some wonderful way over there. My new fiance will also be with me over there so I am not worried about what will happen in the Afterlife. As for this life, thank god for therapy and emotional work to resist the foolishness and the meanness of ignorant, stupid people such as you have described. I wish you much mental/emotional peace and happiness through improved self-esteem and self love.
    pandora97 and Monika like this.
  4. Monika

    Monika Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I probably would try to attend kind of therapy, something what would be connected about how to handle harsh emotions and of course to learn to love myself. But it is hard for now and i changed enormously because of situation and i dont like myself anymore, its hard to look into the mirror either. Its hard to outstand opinions of others. But!! People of this forrum are helping me so much. Because who could share better insights and experiences...Thank you
  5. Auseret

    Auseret New Member

    Hello I hope you don,t mind when did your husband pass, I am not wishing to cause more upset. This friend of yours is honestly not a friend in stating that you will no neccessarally see your husband, the bond of love is not broken on the other side. Authors of Spiritual books are not always the best to speak of deeper concepts, because it may after all their own opinion. I lost someone over two years ago I was upset of course, but I, have smelt cigarette smoke and I know he has come, it is not all the time but it brings solace.
    Love does not die once we part it is their like an ethereal chain holding loved condones in embrace . The Spirit world is a whole with many , many levels , we have no concept of the amount. Please try to sit in the quiet and allow the peace which is Spirit , dont anticipate, hope you don't mind butvi will send absent healing for you. Believe me you will be helped from Spirit by experiences.
    Monika likes this.
  6. Monika

    Monika Well-Known Member

    Thank you for such warm and loving message. I appreciate that so very much! Michel died in strange accident 2017 october 2nd. Actually several months before our marriage. December 6th had to be big day for us.
  7. Bill Z

    Bill Z Well-Known Member

    Dear Monika,
    My heart goes out to you but I am very angry right now, please understand that people say and do incredible stupid things in their feeble attempts to help with something they have no clue about. I'm sorry but: "it is hard for me to tell you but you wont be lovers anymore when you will meet there. " is total BS!!!
    My love was greeted after Her transition by my mom, my brother and Her dad and many others. Sure some here will say that's what I imagine but several mediums and others have expressed this to me and expressed things that they could not know.
    My own daughter told me about the love of my life that "She has moved on to bigger and better things and maybe it's not even Her that you think you are communicating with". I love my daughter to death but that was a totally stupid thing to say as is what your friend said. And it is WRONG! But they don't know better.
    Kim talks a lot about Jesus here and I don't know if he was a physical being but I believe what his philosophy is is beautiful.
    Your friend and my daughter probably want to help but they have not experiences what we have so for me, I forgive my daughter's misguided advice.
    What you say here about beautiful Michael expresses the love you have....not HAD but HAVE! Love does not end!
    I can only speak from personal experience but I know the love of my life is here.
    We have something to offer in this crushing grief and that's the only reason I'm here. Not to say BS but to explain that life and love is eternal.
    Hej allihopa my friend.
    GoldDustWoman622, Monika and bluebird like this.
  8. bluebird

    bluebird Regular Contributor

    I agree, Bill. And lets even, only for the sake of argument, suppose that Monika's friend and others are right when they say that we won't be with our beloved spouse/partner in the same way once we die. I don't believe that's the case, but suppose for a moment that it is. Even if that were the case, they should not say so to the soulmate left behind, because it does nothing but cause pain, despair, and doubt, at least in my experience (and yours, and Monika's, etc.).
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2018
    GoldDustWoman622, Bill Z and Monika like this.
  9. Monika

    Monika Well-Known Member

    Your message touch my heart so deep! I also believe that love never ends. Otherwise there would be no sence for us to stay here in endless pain and torture everyday. I was thinking about suicide very often but then i got feeling in my gut that this would make somehow our being together in afterlife more complicated. I asked Michel how it would be. His answer was: "it would be a dissaster for us". This made me allert and made me to think again if i should kill myself. And i chose to live with all the crushing pain everyday. I want to die, i hope my life here will be short. This pain makes me very sensitive to surroundings. It brakes me to hear such things what she said. Even if i believe that our love wont end because it has no reason to end. And even if i know that he is missing me and waiting for me and we will meet. And it is not something what i believe to but it is something what i sence. This knowledge come from somewhere very deep inside. Its just here. And of course just because im in this body im very limited with my brain. And this is the problem. After i hear such BS it is naturall that i start to think about this and hurt myself even more because this is how brain works. But inside its is not that i hope that we will meet and be in endless love, i KNOW. Also when i ask Michel how it will be when i come after my life here ends naturall he says: our love will be in mirracle. I dont know exactly what he mean but it sounds good for me. Also he says (it is either answers to my questions or sometimes i ask him just to say something for me): my feelings are same, you must listen to yourself, love is a solid reason, i want to be with you forever, i miss you, power is love, give love, understand yourself, learn to love yourself, we will be in love forever my penguin (its how he used to call me often), i am soul to love, i love you more and more, we are loving souls forever, ect. So i am trully convinced about our love. And still this life hurts, people hurt sometimes :(
  10. Monika

    Monika Well-Known Member

    Bluebird, yes, i agree with you completelly. They should not say this, they can have this to themselves. I do respect if they have such understanding by their own. We all are different, we have different situations, different experiences. But why to say espcially when you know that it will hurt other so so much? This was a biggest mystery for me! Maybe i do not understand people and how they think. I do not know.... but i think this is the reason why i limited my time to spend with others to very very short. Decissions of people to say or to make something surprise me all my life. At least what i remember clear i was 3 years old when i realised how strange people think and act. At this age i wished to have real baby bear or small ponny. Very very much. It was day of my baptism. I had such a beautiful dress on and my mom made my hairs so nice. I left like a princess :) After all we were driving in car back home. My godfather was sitting in front. Suddenly i saw a small baby bear on his shoulder. He was waving to me and said hello Monika. My heart stopped. I did not care that this bear just spoke with me cause obviously they can not but it looked like real bear and he was moving so it must be real! Then i took it. It did not move anymore. It was just a beautiful toy. I remember i was squeezing it to my chest and crying. I did love the toy, very very much, i still have it. But i could not understand why grown up person can do this to me and cause so much pain? Why he did not think that it will hurt for me? It hurted in some deep place. I could not describe where it was painful. Felt somewhere behind stomach, behind spine even. Almost outside body. I had this pain during life. But only in situations when strong love was involved. I would say it was just maybe 4 or 5 times in my whole life. But now i feel it very very often. If it hurts, it hurts there. And that pain is hard to handle. And people should try to feel more before they say :(
    Last edited: May 21, 2018
    Bill Z likes this.

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