1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Afterlife Forums is an online, interactive community designed to give seekers direct access to prominent researchers, to afterlife literature, and to one another in order to foster both spiritual growth and public interest in life after death.

Idols/Religous Jewelery/FEAR

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by Litsa, Aug 28, 2018.

  1. Litsa

    Litsa New Member

    Hi All,

    It's been 7 months since my Mom passed away. Since, I have given all cloths for donation. It was very hard too.

    I was raised Orthrodox and that means you get baptized and BAM you are presented with a gold cross that will PROTECT your for the EVIL...

    I was raised on guilt from religious priest and orthodox religion all my life that is until, I started my research many years ago and then found Roberta Grimes....

    Going back, I have bought many of gold, silver crosses that I don't even wear at all....I bought them because of protection and obession...I have Aspergers syndrome....I really believed they were protecting me...

    My Mom has some nice gold crosses as well...Though she was not a religious zealot but just liked to wear them..

    Since my Mom has passed...I have been out of work for 5 months and at the age of 50 years old and 15 job rejections...I am need money....

    I have been a rocker chick, that had to sell my two guitars to pay bills....But, I am getting deseperate and want to sell my gold crosses I no longer wear...But that FEAR, OCD says if I do, God will punish me...I know this is wrong...I also want to sell my Mom's...I gave a lot of her jewerly to my family members, but, there are only so many crosses or rings you can give....

    I am stumped and I am thinking that maybe Roberta, or someone on this forum can help me out with this stupid fear....

    Any advise would be nice.

    Monika and Kurt like this.
  2. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    I constantly have fear. Even when I think I don't it bubbles back up. You sound like a lovely person and I understand where you are coming from. Fear Is something so deeply ingrained into us that it is hard to get rid of.

    Do what your heart tells you is best. If your mind is conflicted, seek resolution. I hope that you will find a good answer. I will try to see if I can get Roberta for you. The email on her website usually does the trick. Look out for answers from Mac, Monika, GeneEdwardSmith, Bill Z, Pandora97, Ravensgate and Roberta Herself. They are Uber advanced spiritually and have great advice.

    I wish I could help you more. I lost the fear because the person I loved convinced me to.

    Roberta helped me rationalise it though!!!! Thank God for sending her forums my way!!!!
    Bill Z and pandora97 like this.
  3. pandora97

    pandora97 Active Member

    Roberta is probably the best one to help you. Sorry you're having such difficulties. I too sometimes struggle with my Christian upbringing.o_O
    Kurt likes this.
  4. Litsa

    Litsa New Member

    Kurt & Pandora97 the youboth of your responses.

    It's hard to give up the brain washing of religion and everything....I thought I was over it...

    Selling religious jewelry I no longer wear and believing it protects me and or gives me good luck is horrible..

    The worst though is selling my Mom's jewelry...I guess I will meditate...Maybe I can ask my Mom who I know must be having a wonderful time in the afterlife...She was a GREAT lady....

    Maybe she can guide me on what to do....I LOVE her so much...I would feel ashamed to sell them...But, maybe if I can stop crying long enough and listen she might say it's okay...Sell them..

    Last edited: Aug 29, 2018
    Kurt likes this.
  5. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    I don't know about her jewelry... That would be painful.. .

    But it's your choice.

    Religious brainwashing is like a fire in a coal mine... It just never goes out...

    Thanks Kalo,
    mac likes this.
  6. pandora97

    pandora97 Active Member

    Maybe if you keep one special piece of mom's that she favored and sell the others it would be a little easier. Also, I'm sure your mom would tell you to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. Just as she would if she were still here to take care of you.:) She knows how much you love her and she would never want you to feel ashamed over selling her things. She no longer needs or wants them and she wants you to be happy.
    Kurt likes this.
  7. Bill Z

    Bill Z Active Member

    I am sorry for what you are going through. I was raised Roman Catholic and it took so long to break from the IMO fear porn they inflict. Morality is one thing but there is little or non of that in much of what I've experienced with the church. It is control like much of society tries to dictate.

    Kalo, I do not believe a loving God (Goddess whatever we refer to this entity as) punishes.

    I too have given away so much that belonged to the love of my life and myself but kept a few things. I have given them away to people who need and will cherish them so I have lost nothing only with the help of the love of my life helped enrich others and pass Her eternal love to others.

    I wish you the very best in your situation. Peace.
    Monika likes this.
  8. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    Hej, i am really sorry for your loss and your fears. It is very harsh to read what you wrote about fears you are facing :( But i do know that fears we can overcome if we only wish to. No one else can do this for us just us by ourselves. At least thats my experience.
    About all golden crosses and their protection. Maybe you could choose the only one most beautiful and most important for you as an item what works as protection and just sell all others with easy hand especially if you have small issues with money? I mean when you think about that so does more of them protect you better than single one? Quality against qauntity :) And about things what your mother owned and now you own probably none of us would dear to give you an advise as this is so personal and your heart will know what to do with help of your mother. Just take time no rush and everything will come into places.
    By myself i live alone after my husband passed away and i have all his clothes nicely put in the shelves. I moved to this flat after he passed away with all his things till single one. I shared closets for myself and for him. Why i should give his clothes away if i have a lot of space and i really like to wear his sweaters like i used before. Why i should live with half empty shelves. Of course some people ask me why i keep his things. I just ask them why not? If it makes me feel comfortable? Thats all about me and how i feel. Not about somebody else. Please look into yourself, listen into your heart and you will find all the answers and solutions.
    SashaS, Kurt and Bill Z like this.
  9. Litsa

    Litsa New Member

    Hi All,

    I am touched with the caring and warm responses I have gotten on my post. I feel so alone at times and trying to get through the loss of my Mom. Like so many on this forum who have had love ones pass before them...It can be tough. At least my Mom live to a good age and I can't even imagine those of you who have lost your husband or wife...

    Moinka, I had my Mom's cloths for many months before I gave them away. It was hard to as well but I donated them to a people in need...I kept her gray sweater that she used to wear. I still have her cute little slippers that I can't part with...Its tough, and if you feel comfortable keeping your husband's cloths then don't listen to what anyone says....KEEP his cloths if it gives you comfort...

    Bill Z, I totally understand what you are saying about religion. I hope, but, I doubt, religion will see the true God and not brainwash people at a young age with fear and rituals...

    Thanks for all your help
    Monika, Kurt and Bill Z like this.
  10. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    What a wonderful analogy! I'm a little more gentle as I say 'religious conditioning' but it boils down to a similar thing.... I think it's less-bad here in the UK as in the USA but I could be wrong.

    I also think the damage begins in school, children taught mumbo-jumbo religious notions by educators with no real understanding of death let alone what happens next. Yet religion gets delivered in the same way as the fundamentals based on facts as in science and math. Those notions continue to be taught through adolescence into adulthood, reinforced by church teachings, ceremonies and rituals. The cycle may be hard to break free of.

    It must be hard for many/most individuals to clear such dross from their psyche and it's little wonder some are fearful of trying an alternative way.
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2018
  11. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    As I've said before I don't give advice unless I know exactly what someone's looking for and I am confident I know the answer. But when I'm listening to someone bereaved who is unsure when or whether to dispose of their loved one's personal effects I encourage them to NOT be pressured by others into doing anything. I add the observation that when, and if, they feel that it's time then that is most likely to be the right time.

    And if that time doesn't come, so what ? Provided the individual feels comfortable, does it matter? What others think should not be your concern. They should be left to exorcise their own demons.
    Kurt likes this.
  12. pandora97

    pandora97 Active Member

    Agree wholeheartedly mac. But I believe in her original post here she indicated that the pressure was a financial one...….not put upon her by any person(s).
    Kurt likes this.
  13. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    That's the reason I didn't quote her.... :)

    Mine was a general observation concerning the pressure some folk experience when well-meaning others 'give their advice' about what to do, and when, with a loved one's personal possessions.
    Kurt likes this.
  14. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I don't give advice but from what you've written I see that you understand well the psychology surrounding your situation. But I will comment on one issue which is that of protection against evil and God. There is no protection from pieces of jewellery and God is unconcerned about such material items.

    But that's just me and my approach and only you can decide what works for you. If you can't shake off the feelings you've expressed you might need trained counsellors to help you do it. By all means try meditation if that usually helps you to reach decisions and of course your mother might be able to impress on you what she'd like you to do. But ultimately it must be your decision and your mother will understand whichever decision you make - but that decision matters ONLY to you and for your circumstances. Not for your mother.

    Members, or others in your life, may express different points of view, of course, but none of us is standing in your shoes.
    Kurt likes this.
  15. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear Litsa, the only one who can conquer your fears is yourself. It's tragic that religions that purport to be based in Jesus will do this to people, when what they are doing is anathema to the Lord! You've got to attack the fear, and nothing I can say in a brief comment here can help you do that, but if you will send me a contact through robertagrimes.com I will send you a couple of books that might help.
    Kurt likes this.
  16. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    Thanks to psychology for helping me see through the superstitious foolishness of most religions teachings, I'd sell that gold in a heartbeat and not think a thing about it - least of all any fear of god or punishment. It's just gold! Sell it an use the money for a just cause! I'm sorry that you sold your guitars instead of the gold. I'd stick with common sense and see through the foolishness of hiding behind silly ornaments like crosses for protection. Let aborigines and little children hold onto superstitions.
    Kurt likes this.
  17. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    True... But there are still Spiritual connections... The energy something gives off is a great example.
  18. Litsa

    Litsa New Member

    jimrich, believe me I agree...I sold my guitars, but, like Kurt says above there is still spiritual connection for me with those being my Mom's crosses.....Like I feel bad to sell my Mom's cross because well I feel that maybe she will feel bad I sold them...But, I know deep down the dead don't care what you do here on Earth...But still my Mom wore them...I know they are worth alot and just recently, I just shut off cable TV and quite the gym...I am sure my Mom would probably say SELL THEM...LOL

    It so wierd how we as human's can become brain wash on what religion has taught us....

    Kurt likes this.
  19. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    jimrich -- What you view as "superstitious foolishness" can be comforting to some people. That doesn't seem to be the case here, but I do think it can be too easy to "throw out the baby with the bathwater", when one decides to view most/all religious teachings as superstitious foolishness. Aside from the religious connotations, though, those items belonged to her mother, and therefore it's possible she holds some sentimental attachment to them as well.

    Litsa -- Personally, I'd recommend keeping one or two of the crosses which you and/or your mother particularly liked, or which most make you think of her, and keep those. Then I'd sell the rest, or donate them to a church.
    Kurt likes this.
  20. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    You are one of the most interesting people I have met so far. I hope you keep posting after all this is resolved.

    Monika and bluebird have a interesting point, but ultimately it is your choice. I wish I could help. I would wire you some money, but I'm a college student so there is none... Lol.

    Thank you for seeing merit in my words.

    Like a lot of other people here, you have an amazing soul.
  21. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    I second you on the harshness of dismissing something that brings a person comfort. That's like being a scientist who would stroll in here confidently and try to debunk us.
  22. Wanttobelieve

    Wanttobelieve New Member

    I would not sell your Mom´s cross, if I were you. Not now. Keep this one and keep the first she gave you.

    Forget religion, this is all about you and your Mum. I´m an atheist - and I would never sell such a special item, be it religious or not.

    I was completely unable to sell my Dad´s car for a year. I cried when I did. I hope that car is well, stupid as it sounds.

    Then I had to pay other people for taking away all those things in the garage. I had to leave the house and stay away until it was done.

    Some of those things I will forever miss. But I cannot keep Dad´s stuff, it is too much, it does not fit in my flat.

    Do NOT throw away a very personal jewelry. I think you would regret it.

    And maybe you should see a doctor and ask for psychotropics. Is that the English word? I mean stuff like "Sertralin", that helps you calm down.

    My Dad died 20 month ago. No, I´m not over it. He left us quite a lot of money and quite a lot of trouble. My doctor recommended Sertralin when Dad was still alive and still thinks I should take it at least during the dark winter months.
    Kurt likes this.
  23. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I think it's actually tragic that emotional conditioning of any sort may prevent us reaching conclusions based on our personal values....

    I don't know if there are spiritual connections to inanimate objects but I very much doubt it. There may, of course, be emotional links and they're totally understandable and natural.

    It's tough where someone is faced with selling items with emotional links or facing hardship but it's the way of life sometimes. Each of us has to make our own choices and hope we get it right - there are no right or wrong ways that others can say with authority will be right for us.

    Don't just follow others' so-called advice unless you know from past experience that their advice can be relied on.
    Kurt likes this.
  24. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    That is also great advice.

    Your Austrian? That is impressive!! You are very fluent in English.
  25. Litsa

    Litsa New Member

    Hi All,

    There is an update.....I was offered a job working at a law firm doing administrative work.....I PRAY it all works out....So as of right now, I mite not have to sell my Mom's jewelery.....I would however, like to donate them someday....The ones that I really wouldn't wear myself....And to have the courage to let go of the pagan beliefs religion tried to brain wash us with......

    I am seriously TOUCHED by the help I received for all of you....This too me is what the universe/GOD is really about...CAREING, LOVING, and FORGIVING.....

    I hope to post most more and learn more....

    I have lost the fear of death, but, what traumatized me was watching my Mom dying....It didn't look much like fun to me....But I KNOW when her silver cord broke there was the liberation and freedom of going back home....

    I hope when it is my turn THERE IS A ROCK N ROLL heaven...LOL

    Kurt likes this.
  26. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    great news about your job offer!! :) It's also great that you're beginning to see matters in ways very different from the ways you have done up to recently. Stick around ALF and you'll likely learn about a lot of other 'stuff' you don't know much about presently and I predict that with time you'll feel more comfortable about a lot of issues. :)

    As for a rock and roll heaven, you'll find what you're looking for even if you find it's less important there than it seems while you're still here.
    pandora97 and Kurt like this.
  27. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    If there is I'll be there!!

    :mad::mad::mad::mad:Slayer Ride!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad:
  28. Wanttobelieve

    Wanttobelieve New Member

    Thank you! My class´ English teacher corrects my mistakes whenever he hears me speak English. :D My subject is Science.

    One more thing I wanted to tell you. My Dad owned a large house, which we decided to sell after his death. Dad, I am so sorry, I saw no better way.

    There was a simple, wooden, quite old cross in the staircase. Twice a year, I tucked some flowers behind that cross - this is a tradition.

    The new owner would have had the cross thrown away. So I will take it with me to my new home. It is the cross that protected Dads beloved house.

    Also, there is a paper dwarf that my Dad always put on the Christmas tree. He insisted that when he was three years old, the dwarf saved his tree from the bombs. (world war 2)
    I will püt the dwarf on my tree, which is at the moment a small, exotic, not winter hardy Norfolk pine in a pot. I will not have another fir tree dying in heated rooms, such a stupid tradition.... But the dwarf is important.

    Just think about the feelings behind such items. This is family and connects you with your parents. They wanted you to be safe - this is what counts.

    Good luck with your new job!
    Kurt likes this.
  29. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    But we are NOT helpless, mindless idiots! We have the right and intelligence to change what religion or anything else has programmed into us to become FREE of useless and even harmful beliefs and behaviors that others have injected into us. For me, the blessing of psychotherapy was to see thru the b.s. I was given as a child and discard the garbage while acquiring BETTER beliefs and behaviors ASAP. I continue to do it. I know for a fact that my parents, late wife and many other Disincarnates do not care at all what I do with their "stuff" here in the Incarnate realm which is why I have dumper or given away nearly everything they ever had while over here. This is not about disrespect. Their "stuff" is not important to them nor me anymore.
    To each their own.
    Do whatever you think/feel is right. Good luck.
  30. Kurt

    Kurt Active Member

    Cool cross.... Cool dwarf. I hope they both serve you well.

Share This Page