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How To Cut The Ego Out

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by innerperson, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. innerperson

    innerperson New Member

    I have been reading this forum for some time and found a lot of meaning that I was missing from my Catholic upbringing. Catholicsm wasn't answering the questions I had and was one the reasons I couldn't continue with the religion.

    But the topics of this forum did answer my questions and gave me a better path to follow.

    Thank you for that! Many of the topics, in this forum, has helped my fill in those questions that made sense.

    Now for my question...

    I find great satisfaction in helping people when I am able. I always have.

    While I would rather help people anonymously... I am finding that having discussions on topics like forgiving themselves for past mistakes to be greatly beneficial. Topics that has taken me some time to figure out.

    Some of the people I talk too have had some interesting pasts that they need to overcome.

    I guess my main question is how do I help others without feeding into my own ego? I know, from the past, how our egos can lead us falsely and I am worried that I will fall into some ego trap while trying to help those that ask for help.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
    pandora97 likes this.
  2. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    Be sympathetic and once you do, feel what they do. Then.... Hook into that emotion. You will want them to be better and will be happy when they are.
    innerperson likes this.
  3. innerperson

    innerperson New Member

    Thanks Kurt, that means a lot.
    Kurt likes this.
  4. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    Your welcome. I had the same issue. Feeling like I was giving bad advice and feeding my own ego...

    I don't anymore.
    innerperson likes this.
  5. innerperson

    innerperson New Member

    Thanks again Kurt.

    This last guy I was able to help really resonated with me which is why I asked the question. A lot of his issues was something I had dealt with and was able to discuss what I did that helped me without trying to tell him what he needed to do. I definitely understood where they were coming from because I went through a lot of the same issue that they did. I guess my main worry was helping people like that without feeding into my own ego. Am I trying to really help this guy or am I trying to make myself feel better? I've been ruled by my ego and it was never a positive experience.
    Kurt likes this.
  6. EminenceFront

    EminenceFront Member

    Why would "feeding into your ego" necessarily be a negative experience?

    If you want to help others, then help others. They will see that you are not ego-based and learn, those who will, from your example.
    Kurt and innerperson like this.
  7. innerperson

    innerperson New Member

    Great question EminenceFront!

    As always, this is from my point of view and you may view things differently which is perfectly fine.

    I do think the reason for helping others is as important as the actual act of helping. If I am helping others because it makes me feel special, then I am not really certain that I am doing it for the right reasons. I think some people, myself included, have done the right things for the wrong reasons. Typically, from my experience, my ego could have pushed me to do something in order to make me feel good. Doing something for personal gain instead of doing something to truly help someone in need. That is why I try to be cognizant of the "why" when I try to help someone.

    I do firmly believe we are here to learn and I want to take advantage of my time on this plane to learn as much as possible before my time is up. That is why I ask myself these types of questions which may seem kind of strange. :)

    I don't recall a great moment when my ego has been involved. The less ego, the happier the memories.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
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  8. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    Oddly, it feels good to help them out in a nostalgic kind of way...

    Even though it's nothing to feel nostalgic about. I guess it helps bring closure. All of the reflections you might do on what has gone wrong in your life and what you should have done? You can somewhat find out by helping out.

    But it's symbiotic. Just stay hooked into their emotions.

    Your welcome.
  9. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    You having these feelings probably means you aren't all about ego. Maybe in the back of your head you know but your still concerned. That's how it was for me... I'm not sure though about others... Everyones different...

    Thank you for being kind and taking the time to read my thoughts
  10. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    Hmmm....... Interesting ideas.....

    Ayn Rand, Max Stirner, Trump....would probably/certainly agree.
  11. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    I'd say because it is detrimental to the help you hand out. It makes the person feel patronized and like a zoo exhibit. It is easy to tell when ego is a persons motivating factor. And holier than thougness is always disliked.... And for good reason.
  12. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    True. I do to, so I guess we're both strange, but in a good way
    innerperson likes this.
  13. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    This is a good question, and it never had occurred to me to ask it. Thank you for bringing it up!

    At this point I spend at least sixteen hours a day seven days a week doing things for other people, but it never has occurred to me that any of this might be about me. It is only your question that has made me realize it probably is odd that I don't feel that giving the rest of my life to this work is to my personal credit, so I have put out the question to my guides. And the answer turns out to be simple! Dear innerperson, none of this really is about me! I have been given the incomparable gift of being useful to Spirit and to other people, but it is a gift to me that I am being used this way! It makes me happier than I can express, but it is nothing I ever could do on my own; and the moment I begin to think I deserve credit for it will be the moment when I will lose this gift. Do you see? Each of us who wants to help others is just an avatar of beings not now in bodies, so how can serving Spirit ever be about us personally? Mother Theresa used to say, "I am a little pencil in God's hand." That is what it means to live in service! There is more joy in living this way than there is in doing anything else with your life, but the little pencil gets no credit and it wants no credit. It was lying useless on the table, and God picked it up. It was the pencil who received the greatest gift of all!
  14. EminenceFront

    EminenceFront Member

    There is no such thing as a strange point of observation. What's normal and on whose authority does that decision rest ;)?

    What I have learned, regardless of what choices I make, is that I can allow for the circumstance to dictate how I feel or I can choose to feel any way that I want (happy) without the circumstances having to dictate my emotions. If a situation is "bad" I can examine that situation to see what it is attempting to teach me all the while choosing to be happy in that experience.

    I found that most of us have been taught, cajoled, ridiculed and pressured into believing that the circumstance is foisted upon us and we must be unhappy about the bad ones. This never worked for me.
    innerperson and Kurt like this.
  15. Kurt

    Kurt Well-Known Member

    Same. I always get confused when somebody hypes me up.... I literally do nothing. Things are so simple to me.

    I see people in college who think taking 2 hrs. is hard and I think you don't pay for anything and your parents fill things out.

    They go to me for advice and see me as a role model an it confuses me.

    I never set out wanting to take on this big of a workload THIS EARLY, but I did. I became a sushi chef not because I tried to do it, I got it because I did it ..

    I did not get dream credentials by trying to do things I got them because vi did things. I needed a job and refused to sell myself short. I got amazing friends becaueb I avoided bad influences. I built a impressive network because I was friendly where others were intimidated. The only thing I set out with a goal on was to crunch college credits and I'm at 12, not 15 or 18 :(. I got these gov. position s becaybe I honestly got bored and it sounded fun... I have 3.

    I got the campaign jobs because I literally just asked a guy giving a speech if he could get me in...

    The other students are scared to though.... It's understandable, but.... It's still sad....

    They either say "You sound like my dad" or "that's too hard"...

    I literally just walked into a room right as I type this... I asked if I could be a officer in this club and ... They said SURE! And they took a vote.

    Guess what? $350 bonus. The other college kids?

    "That's too hard, you sound like my dad...."

    I got a entry level job at a sushi restaurant in San Antonio. I'll be a chef in a few months. Ill make 30-70k a year as my experience grows.... I literally walked in said the food was good, wrote my name down and followed up 4 times.

    So when they think I'm doing a lot I'm confused.... I do nothing. I get bored and throw crapshots in the ring.... The rest is divine and I have faith, but I dindo take myself seriously... Well not to muxh anyways ... I dedicate myself once I hop in a ring but I rarely run up to one on purpose.

    I'm 18 ... These guys are early to mid 20s.... Ones mad cause I'm best friends with his girlfriend and I make more money then him even though he's he's old enough to be my dad :)))

    But still... They ask my advice and I lay out for them explicit now to 3 months from now plans to go from 10/15 k income to 30k income...

    I even told this guy in almost patronizing language (not rudely, just basic) how to invest in stocks . ...

    "That's too hard man you sound like my dad braw..."

    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
  16. innerperson

    innerperson New Member

    Thanks so much for the replies. They gave me some food for thought which I always appreciate.

    I guess it came down to feeling great when helping others and it made me feel somewhat guilty. haha

    I would like to continue helping when I think I am needed. It can get disheartening reading the news and seeing others treat each other so badly. Not that I haven't screwed up and treated someone badly. It definitely feels worst out there, than, say 10 years ago.

    Hopefully through random acts of kindness we can spread a little more love and those that are helped can help continue that trend. At least that is in the back of my head when I do try and help someone even if it is something very minor.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
    Kurt likes this.
  17. pandora97

    pandora97 Well-Known Member

    Just thought I would add that feeling great after helping someone in need shouldn't cause you to feel guilty. It's only natural to feel happy. Just as "misery loves company" when you're happy you want to share that happiness. Helping others is your way of doing so.;)
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  18. EminenceFront

    EminenceFront Member

    Not only are you raising your spiritual vibratory state by doing so, you are allowing for the co-creation of physical reality with those you help as you agreed before you incarnated!
    innerperson likes this.
  19. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    You are not the ego so just ignore it.
    "There is indeed a genuine "I" (or a "You") that is who you truly are. It is eternal, perfect love" ~ Roberta Grimes
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2018
    innerperson likes this.
  20. EminenceFront

    EminenceFront Member


    For the life of me, I used to wonder why I could not understand anyone who supports Trump. I came to realize that Trumpers and thosewho share a more level-headed viewpoint are experiencing completely different physical realities. That's correct. A split, never has one been recorded before on Earth, a split between Trumpers and others. Physically. It's like looking at Trump supporters through a pane of glass from my POV. And vice-versa.

    They said "Everything will change in 2016" and, boy o boy, were they right. :p

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