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  2. Afterlife Forums is an online, interactive community designed to give seekers direct access to prominent researchers, to afterlife literature, and to one another in order to foster both spiritual growth and public interest in life after death.

Hi, I'm new to the Forum...

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by jfleegs, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. jfleegs

    jfleegs New Member

    Really?! Awesome! Haha I know what you mean. Okay so I'm sure it will take some time, I get a little anxious. Yeah its hard to get past that wishful thinking mode. I plan on buying another book soon on the subject. Okay cool I will def take a look at it!
     
  2. Highlander

    Highlander Active Member

    Jfleegs, I also want to welcome you to the forum and am glad to see you have gotten signs from your girlfriend. It's important to be open and have a positive attitude when trying to overcome grief and get acknowledgement from a loved one who has passed.
    BTW I have been meditating for decades and began when I had lost someone close to me. Remember that we all initially have difficulty focusing when learning to meditate. Just bring your self back to the task at hand and you will see it becomes easier with practice.
    Hopefully your experience and the way you're handling it can be of some help to bluebird, another member who is also grieving.
     
  3. jfleegs

    jfleegs New Member

    Hi Highlander, Thanks..Yeah its the ever struggle of, is it just me or is it really her? I think we have an aspect of us that tries to rationalize everything and it can really bring us to a dark place. I've had many rough days that brought me to the brink, I was angry, and very bitter. Even when I was lucky enough to recognize these signs that were clear as day to me I still wanted more. I read like a mad man trying to figure out if life after death was true. One of the main things I gather is there is an over whelming amount of proof of an Afterlife and to people who don't believe in anything after death, thats basically taking all this evidence throwing it out and shutting the door on yourself.

    I get very angry when I think how god has taken her away from my life. Im 25 years old and the woman I was going to marry and have kids with is gone. I may have to live 60 years without the one I love. I was jealous of everyone around me who had that person to comfort them after the loss. Everyone got to be with the person they love and tell them its okay. The person I loved was gone. It can be a very dark and lonely place. People try to comfort you and say if you need anyone to talk to you can talk to me, but the only one you want is her.

    The thing that helps me is to search and try to overcome this grief so I can recognize her with me. I read every book I could about the afterlife and I realized I have to believe in her still. The more I believed she was with me the more I got signs, and the more I saw her in my mind, I could even see orbs and little light in the corner of my eyes moving delicately then extremely fast. I would feel soft wind blow through my hair and little touch's on my arm, the signs I mentioned before, and many more.

    The Grief that you feel will only block all the things your loved one is trying to send to you. I know its hard I struggle with it every day. I hope Bluebird that you find peace it is the only way to make it through this, I promise.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2014
  4. Highlander

    Highlander Active Member

    Jfleegs, Anger, hatred and fear are all part of the normal response to dealing with grief. What may be next for you is acceptance, in other words letting go of the negativity, which if held only makes things worse.
    Godspeed you on your journey.
     
  5. bluebird

    bluebird Major Contributor

    jfleegs, i'm glad you are finding some peace. As for me, i have no ability or desire to "make it through this". I only want it to end.

    If i had absolute proof, from my husband, that there is an afterlife and that he is safe & happy there, and that we will be together again, that would be great. Even if that happened though, i would still want to die. I have NO desire for this life, without my husband here with me, and i never will.
     
  6. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Welcome, dear jfleegs! Others have already said much better the things that I would have said to you, but I just want to add that for someone who is only 25 you seem extraordinarily wise and strong. The way you're managing what is a horrendous experience for even much older people really is amazing. I agree with Carol - your beloved is a trooper and is trying hard to give you some wonderful confirmations that she is right there with you. You can't know now what purpose there may be in your life for this terrible experience, but seeing how you are dealing with it and growing, I suspect that you are destined to do something amazing with your life. Big hug, darling!
     
  7. jfleegs

    jfleegs New Member

    I'm so sorry bluebird..I understand how you feel. I struggle with the will to live as well. All I try to do is live day by day, it is very hard to think about any kind of future. I try to think how she would want me to live, and I feel I would be very selfish to destroy myself with grief while she watches in sadness. We all have obstacles to overcome and some have extremely harder ones than others, I hope that you can overcome this extreme pain and realize your husband is right there with you.
     
  8. bluebird

    bluebird Major Contributor

    Thanks jfleegs. I honestly no longer care about anything, i don't care if i am selfish, i think that having my soulmate ripped from me gives me the right to be selfish. I am DONE, and just want my physical life to end, the way everything has ended for me. I need to be WITH my husband, wherever he is. I need to KNOW he is in the afterlife, and i need to be with him there.
     
  9. jfleegs

    jfleegs New Member

    Hi Roberta Grimes, Thank you for the kind words! Oh you definitely had amazing things to add:) Yes she is a trooper, was when she was here on earth as well. We were always very open with our beliefs and we connected on a very deep level. I was blessed to be able to have someone like her to talk about life, she was truly an old soul. I was also lucky enough to have a very emotional talk with her the night before I woke up to find her gone. We told each other that we loved each other and would never be apart. I hope out of this horrible nightmare I have lived I can give some kind of hope to other people that have gone through similar situations.
     
  10. jfleegs

    jfleegs New Member

    Your welcome Bludbird...I understand, it is an unthinkable pain. Well one thing I learned as well is no one can change someones mind, its all up to that person. People tried to comfort me as well, but it doesn't do it. The only thing we want is that person we love who was suppose to be part of our life every single day just like before. I just hope that you find peace in anyway possible. Just know your not alone in your grief, I am there with you.
     

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