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Hi, I'm new to the Forum...

Discussion in 'member introductions' started by jfleegs, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. Hi, I am new to this forum. My girlfriend passed away about 2 1/2 months ago and, I have been obsessed with doing research on life after death ever since. I figured this would be a good forum that I could learn some things, and talk to some people who understand such a loss.

    I have been on the biggest roller coaster of emotions for the past couple months, it all seems like one big blur. I have gone down the path of destruction with alcohol and slightly coming out of it now. I looked for anything to fill the void that has been ripped from my heart...but of course nothing works.

    I am generally extremely optimistic, and I believe love is everything. I believed everything happens for a reason and I understand its for our own soul growth and theirs...but it becomes really hard at times when I do feel very alone. Mind you I have lots of friends and family who I love, but she was my world.

    Ive looked for signs and I've had many, but then I doubt it and think maybe this is just my wishful thinking. I now understand the insanity life can instill on ourselves. I have been told many times yes she is still with you, but if true then why cant I see her feel her touch her talk to her ever again. How do I know she is really there? How do I know she is ok..

    Oddly enough Ive had dreams before of loved ones who had died. These dreams were as real as right now. I was a young boy in my Grandma's lap crying of joy from seeing her. Also my friend had passed away who was practically living at my house and immediately after his funeral I had a dream he came up to me and gave me our handshake and goes "I'm good man, don't worry".

    With all this I should know theirs proof, but I still have a hard time because she has yet to come to me. I hope that I can get some reassurance soon. I desperately wanted to go the medium route, yet I want to make sure the person is trust worthy and not some scam artist.

    I've walked that line of "Whelp if I die right now I would be happy". Not suicidal, I understand that is selfish of me to everyone who loves me, but if fate takes me right now I definitely wouldn't mind.

    Well thanks for taking the time to read, I look forward to talking to you all..
  2. Welcome to the forum! First of all,i am really sorry for your loss!!
    It is hell when you lose someone you love,and we all have passed through this whole grieving process...
    Just try to keep the good memories with her,and let time heal everything else...
    Be sure that signs will come with time to you in the forms of dreams,or blinking lights,slight breezes,at least with me that's the case!
    You can't be 100% sure that they are not wishful thinking,but please don't let these thoughts make you suicidal,ever!
    If you loved each other so much,rest assured that she wants you to continue your life!
    I know how it is to feel void,it's very hard in the beginning months,but try to find your inner strength and continue!
    You will never forget her,but i honestly believe that our beloved ones watch over us and want us to live!
    I wouldn't recommend going to a medium,as 90+% are frauds,but i don't live in the US,so maybe another member knows
    a trustworthy medium to propose you.
  3. Oh,and start praying also for her,at least from time to time! It helps me a lot,it may calm and reconfort you!
    I don't know if you follow a specific religion,pray in the name of Jesus or any other religious figure that you follow,
    for her to be safe and well!
    It may help you!
  4. Welcome to our forum. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. But you are among friends here. This forum brings out the best in everyone. I hope that we can be of some solace in your time of grief.

    With Lovingkindness (metta),
  5. janef

    janef Moderator

    Jfleegs, check your PM
  6. Celera

    Celera Active Member

    Hi jfleegs, welcome to the forum and I am also very sorry for your loss. Most of us here have been through at least one very difficult loss so we know how hard it can be. All the feelings you express are pretty usual for this type of loss -- I know sometimes it can feel like you're going crazy but you aren't.

    There are a couple of places that test and certify mediums, I think the Windbridge Institute is one of them -- but I can't access their site right now. Still, that would give you some assurance that you were hiring a medium who is at least sincere. But there are no guarantees, even a legitimate medium will not always be able to make contact with the person you hope to reach.
  7. Thank you guys! I already have taken a lot from this forum, reading archives. I believe it was Carol and Mikey who said to write down the signs you receive from your loved ones. I did a list and its pretty amazing to see all the ones I have received and its nice to look back at those and remember that these cant be just coincidence.

    The day before she passed away we were joking about how to say crescent rolls because she made those with little hot dogs for the football game. I said no no its croissant roll! thats the classy way to say it. We both laughed. The next day when I was in the waiting room there was a small tv that played pillsbury doughboy commercial about crescent rolls and I laughed under my breathe, she was right.

    Another one is I used to always lay my head on her stomach and she would play with my hair and then always start making it into a faux hawk, I could feel it and I would jump up and go "Babe!!" she would laugh. So at the hospital I was lying my head on her bed and running her hand through my hair like she always did. The nurses finally came in to tell me I had to leave for a bit. When I walked out I was talking to my parents and then her cousin came up and goes "you have a major faux hawk going on!" I didnt even think about it at the time, it took me until the next day to realize this sign, even though its pretty amazing.

    This one was just something I felt inside was her. They just finished giving us all the horrific news of her not ever coming back to us, and I ran outside of the hospital across the street into some lawn I found a spot between two trees to be alone. It was freezing cold outside and the sky was completely covered with clouds. I was balling my eyes out lying on the cold ground and all of a sudden a small hole formed in the clouds to let a sun ray shine right down on me and instantly warmed me up. She always wanted to keep me warm and snuggled in blankets.

    Ever since the last sign I always notice when a ray of sunlight comes in the windows and the warmth touches my cheek.
  8. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    Hi Jfleegs,
    Welcome to the forums and please understand that we are so sorry for your loss and the tough grief journey it brings. I do feel we are stronger in numbers and there are many of us here who have experienced significant losses . Hurts bad. Terribly bad. Again, very sorry.
    I am a huge believer (actually, I will say "I know" ) that signs from our loved ones are truly communication from Heaven / The Otherside / The next Dimension, or whatever you want to call it. We are eternal. I know you will see your girlfriend again. These next dimensions are all around us. Our loved ones are close! Our loving connection never ends! How can someone we love so much, their loving being and essence be gone? IT's not gone and I know it! :) She is trying to communicate with you through signs. This is common. Dreams may take longer to come. It did for me. And actually, others had dreams before me with messages that helped immensely. Please stay open to this. Please do not doubt. I talk out loud and ask for help and I know they hear me! Your answer may come back to you on the bumper sticker on the car that passes you, or in the next song on the radio. There are many threads on this subject on the forum. People from all over the world report these type of things. We cannot all be making this up! Pay attention to music that is playing, lights flickering, unusual things with electrical objects, unusual behavior with animals , birds, etc. We are energy, actually everything is energy, and the only thing that gives out is our earthly shell. Our being, our true essence lives on! They can alter things from where they are to make signs occur because they are in a dimension that does not have time restraints like us. Seeing a medium was also very helpful, if you know of a good one. Surround yourself with loving people and positive energy. There are many good books, one called Hello From Heaven by Bill Guggenheim that talks about this. Stay open. Acknowledge when you see a sign! They love that! Communication is possible. Talk to others who know her about what you are experiencing and see what is occurring with them too.
    Please feel free to ask what ever is on your mind. We will try to help you the best we can. You are not alone on this journey. Love and peace to you!
    So just before I was going to post this, I see what you just posted! Wonderful signs! Beautiful! I am so thrilled. This is what I am talking about! She is trying hard and is doing a great job! The love does not stop! I promise you! :)
    Love and peace, Carol
  9. Thank you Carol, Yes your right she is doing an amazing job:D Thanks for the tips, I will look into those books for sure. And I will definitely keep an eye out for more signs! I look forward to reading more about you and Mikey as well, I am very interested in learning more from you guys. I have tried to find ways to communicate with her as well, and hopefully I will be able to some day.

    I read the book "Channeling my Son Erik by Elisa Medhus" and was intrigued by the way Erik says they communicate with us by sending thoughts. I've had many times where I would have random thoughts of her and once in awhile hear what she would say. For example I was on the treadmill yesterday for the first time in forever, which we always worked out together. I heard her say "get that cute butt in shape" in her voice, Im not sure its just I know her so well that she would say that or she actually just said that to me haha.

    I also talk to her every night and when I have my eyes closed I can envision her and once in awhile get very faint answers but its more me talking and seeing her expression. Not sure if this is a start of any kind? but its pretty amazing at the time. Of course doubt comes in and ruins it. I plan on meditating at least every day, and hopefully be able to connect without my cluttered mind.
  10. Carol and Mikey

    Carol and Mikey Golden Hearts

    You have some good stuff going on! I will tell you, this is how it started for me. :) Not Mikey telling me I had a cute butt......HA HA, but "thinking it was him telling me something, and it actually was!" Took me over a year to figure this out. I thought it was wishful thinking. Turns out it was a lot more than that! So I will say to not doubt, keep an open mind and heart! Listen. Talk out loud. There are many books out there. Also there is a conference on Afterlife Communication in July. It is all about different types of communication. I will be there too! The link is on the top of the home page of this forum. Many researchers and knowledgeable folks there. Should be good!
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2014
  11. Really?! Awesome! Haha I know what you mean. Okay so I'm sure it will take some time, I get a little anxious. Yeah its hard to get past that wishful thinking mode. I plan on buying another book soon on the subject. Okay cool I will def take a look at it!
  12. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    Jfleegs, I also want to welcome you to the forum and am glad to see you have gotten signs from your girlfriend. It's important to be open and have a positive attitude when trying to overcome grief and get acknowledgement from a loved one who has passed.
    BTW I have been meditating for decades and began when I had lost someone close to me. Remember that we all initially have difficulty focusing when learning to meditate. Just bring your self back to the task at hand and you will see it becomes easier with practice.
    Hopefully your experience and the way you're handling it can be of some help to bluebird, another member who is also grieving.
  13. Hi Highlander, Thanks..Yeah its the ever struggle of, is it just me or is it really her? I think we have an aspect of us that tries to rationalize everything and it can really bring us to a dark place. I've had many rough days that brought me to the brink, I was angry, and very bitter. Even when I was lucky enough to recognize these signs that were clear as day to me I still wanted more. I read like a mad man trying to figure out if life after death was true. One of the main things I gather is there is an over whelming amount of proof of an Afterlife and to people who don't believe in anything after death, thats basically taking all this evidence throwing it out and shutting the door on yourself.

    I get very angry when I think how god has taken her away from my life. Im 25 years old and the woman I was going to marry and have kids with is gone. I may have to live 60 years without the one I love. I was jealous of everyone around me who had that person to comfort them after the loss. Everyone got to be with the person they love and tell them its okay. The person I loved was gone. It can be a very dark and lonely place. People try to comfort you and say if you need anyone to talk to you can talk to me, but the only one you want is her.

    The thing that helps me is to search and try to overcome this grief so I can recognize her with me. I read every book I could about the afterlife and I realized I have to believe in her still. The more I believed she was with me the more I got signs, and the more I saw her in my mind, I could even see orbs and little light in the corner of my eyes moving delicately then extremely fast. I would feel soft wind blow through my hair and little touch's on my arm, the signs I mentioned before, and many more.

    The Grief that you feel will only block all the things your loved one is trying to send to you. I know its hard I struggle with it every day. I hope Bluebird that you find peace it is the only way to make it through this, I promise.
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2014
  14. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    Jfleegs, Anger, hatred and fear are all part of the normal response to dealing with grief. What may be next for you is acceptance, in other words letting go of the negativity, which if held only makes things worse.
    Godspeed you on your journey.
  15. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    jfleegs, i'm glad you are finding some peace. As for me, i have no ability or desire to "make it through this". I only want it to end.

    If i had absolute proof, from my husband, that there is an afterlife and that he is safe & happy there, and that we will be together again, that would be great. Even if that happened though, i would still want to die. I have NO desire for this life, without my husband here with me, and i never will.
  16. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Welcome, dear jfleegs! Others have already said much better the things that I would have said to you, but I just want to add that for someone who is only 25 you seem extraordinarily wise and strong. The way you're managing what is a horrendous experience for even much older people really is amazing. I agree with Carol - your beloved is a trooper and is trying hard to give you some wonderful confirmations that she is right there with you. You can't know now what purpose there may be in your life for this terrible experience, but seeing how you are dealing with it and growing, I suspect that you are destined to do something amazing with your life. Big hug, darling!
  17. I'm so sorry bluebird..I understand how you feel. I struggle with the will to live as well. All I try to do is live day by day, it is very hard to think about any kind of future. I try to think how she would want me to live, and I feel I would be very selfish to destroy myself with grief while she watches in sadness. We all have obstacles to overcome and some have extremely harder ones than others, I hope that you can overcome this extreme pain and realize your husband is right there with you.
  18. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    Thanks jfleegs. I honestly no longer care about anything, i don't care if i am selfish, i think that having my soulmate ripped from me gives me the right to be selfish. I am DONE, and just want my physical life to end, the way everything has ended for me. I need to be WITH my husband, wherever he is. I need to KNOW he is in the afterlife, and i need to be with him there.
  19. Hi Roberta Grimes, Thank you for the kind words! Oh you definitely had amazing things to add:) Yes she is a trooper, was when she was here on earth as well. We were always very open with our beliefs and we connected on a very deep level. I was blessed to be able to have someone like her to talk about life, she was truly an old soul. I was also lucky enough to have a very emotional talk with her the night before I woke up to find her gone. We told each other that we loved each other and would never be apart. I hope out of this horrible nightmare I have lived I can give some kind of hope to other people that have gone through similar situations.
  20. Your welcome Bludbird...I understand, it is an unthinkable pain. Well one thing I learned as well is no one can change someones mind, its all up to that person. People tried to comfort me as well, but it doesn't do it. The only thing we want is that person we love who was suppose to be part of our life every single day just like before. I just hope that you find peace in anyway possible. Just know your not alone in your grief, I am there with you.

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