Hi there, I've been lurking around this site for a few months now and I figured I would finally create an account and say hello. I hope this post isn't to long or come off as bad/whiny. I hate making bad first impressions. Anyways, a little about myself and what I'm going through. I am a twenty five year old person, going through an existential crisis with little hope for the future(largely in part due to clinical depression). Being driven mad but not just my own future death, but death in general. Terrorist attacks, murder, disease, famine, suicide, and injustice. I would classify my self as an empath. I've decided to dedicate my life to the sciences, specifically health span and longevity research. Hopefully allowing people to live longer, healthier lives. Fighting age related diseases such as Alzheimer's disease and certain forms of cancer. I am currently working on my GED and academic upgrading for the chance to make it into university. I am an atheist secular humanist trans-humanist*, I don't believe in a god(s), and until recently, I did not believe in an afterlife. I still don't, however I am now more skeptical of the possibility of an afterlife. I have been doing research on the paranormal, NDE's, OBE, and spirituality and I am a lot more open to the possibilities of the immaterial then I have been in the past. I have also witnessed some things that make me believe there is more to this world then meets the eye. I have and still am attempting to do things like past life regression, astral projection, trying to meet a spirit guide. I have had no luck yet, but I'm not giving up. For example; I have this clock in my bedroom. It was my grandfathers clock. It has not had batteries in over ten years. But every once in awhile, it ticks. It's oddly comforting. I can't rationally explain it away either. I worked in a place for seven years that has the nickname of "God's waiting room." Because most of our clients/members are old and unfortunately we have quite a few deaths there. Were I have felt and seen strange things. Glasses flying off of the racks, and I've felt like something was riding my back. When I was in there by myself I could swear I could hear conversations and laughing and glasses clinking despite me being the only person in the entire building. I can't rationally explain these things away either. Saying its just an overactive imagination doesn't quite cut it. I want to believe that there is something after this short life, for the people that don't even get a full life especially. What else, I keep seeing this recurring thing. In my research, and mentioned here quite frequently. That the spiritual energy of the planet needs to be raised. I see it on forums, I recently saw it mentioned in a documentary, afterlife discussions and I've heard it mentioned a few times in death cafes. Not sure what else to say about it. That's about it, sorry for the long winded post. I didn't get everything I wanted in here but its long enough already and probably better saved for other topics. Looking forward to having discussions and stuff about the possibility of an afterlife here. I also have loads of questions, which I'll ask when it's right. *Just in case for people that don't know. Trans-humanist means that I believe that technology and biology should merge or the betterment of humanity.