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Good Grief

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by jimrich, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. jimrich

    jimrich Active Member

    This thread: http://afterlifeforums.com/threads/assisted-to-die.2332/page-2#post-45464.... and also this thread: http://afterlifeforums.com/threads/moment-of-death.2325/#post-45404 ...has reignited some unhealed grief issues for me and, judging by the very few comments of other members in those threads, I imagine the topic of DEATH has brought up more pain and grief issues for many others here.
    I find it useful to think about and work through or resolve old pain and grief anyway or place I can so I am coming here once more to talk about GRIEF.
    I have a few pains of regret and guilt surrounding the way I had some pets Killed or put to sleep and the way I allowed or contributed to the death of my wife, Irene. I'd like to say it was all unavoidable and had to be done or happen BUT there are parts of me that wish or believe it SHOULD have been different. If I had to do it again, I might have my pets and wife put to death differently but do not exactly know how at this moment. I had a lot of opportunities to do more for my wife before she was finally allowed to die in the ICU so I may live with those guilts from now on. I won't burden anyone with the details so it's enough to say that part of my grief process is to work through some anger at and with MYSELF over things I did or did not do in the past. I suspect that many Grievers come upon points of self contempt and anger over how they failed or made mistakes so the grief process is not just about missing someone or wishing they were still here. I miss my late wife very much and would do everything differently now if she was still here. I recall promising myself to "change" from now on if and when I brought her home from the hospital (it hurts to write that) but she didn't make it! I had all kinds of plans and intentions for how I would be a better partner, lover, friend and spouse for her as soon as we went back home. It didn't happen! (Now this is hurting even more!)
    Now that she is in the Afterlife, she has repeatedly told me that there is nothing to regret or feel bad about and that she is very happy with the life we had and still have now so at least I have her word that she loved and still loves me NO MATTER WHAT. I guess my goal is to move beyond grief and self contempt and try to live a happier life from now on.
    I just met someone that I might get involved with so, this might be my last chance (I'm 79) to do things right and be a better partner than I was before. I just hope that my new love doesn't "check out" of here before I do!
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2017

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