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  2. Afterlife Forums is an online, interactive community designed to give seekers direct access to prominent researchers, to afterlife literature, and to one another in order to foster both spiritual growth and public interest in life after death.

First Post, introduction and thank you.

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by Searching, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. Searching

    Searching New Member

    Hello all you wonderful folks here. I have been lurking for a couple of months since my father passed over in January. I have been searching for proof of the afterlife, just knowing that he is going to be ok. Thanks to all of you here, I feel like what I thought to be the truth, and the actual truth are the same thing! I have read Roberta’s book and love it. Also several of the other books suggested here.

    I want to thank you for answering questions that others ask, I also think of. My father entered the hospital around Christmas and never made it home. They kept trying different things, but his infection due to diabetes was too advanced and entered his heart. He had a couple of strokes in the hospital. This made his speech very hard to understand. He did ask us what was going to be done, or nothing??

    What I was feeling though, and getting from him, was his desire to go home. My mother did not feel like she could handle it and we had to tell him this. We ended up putting him in hospice care, and I will forever remember the look of sadness when we had to tell him we could not take him home. I just cannot get that picture out of my head. I know he is better now, I KNOW this., but I wonder if we should have found some way to get him home for his last days. I will forever be sad about that. I hope he forgives us. ( My mother and sisters )

    His last days were spent in a nice room decorated with his favorite things, but was not home. He was eating on day one, but the next day he fell into more sleep. He didn’t even want to drink water, his favorite ! We knew it was not going to be long. They tried to prepare us, but I have never been that close to someone passing.

    I wanted to tell you of something that happened the day before he went. He was sleeping soundly when he suddenly opened his eyes, sat straight up and said “open the door! “ Twice, and very loudly. This was a shock to us! It took all our strength to hold him in the bed and he had not moved for days. What do you suppose this was? The next day he passed. He held on for days while we sat by his side, but when we left for some rest, he decided to go. Was that something he wanted to do alone maybe?

    Sorry, this is too long!! I just wanted to let you know how much you are helping people who don’t even post, but read. Thank you all so much.
  2. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear Searching, please be comforted! You and your family did the best that you possibly could do for your very ill father, and he is now free and healthy and happy. You have done nothing to beg forgiveness for! Indeed, your father is certainly profoundly grateful, now that he is in a position to appreciate all that you did for him.

    To try to answer a couple of your questions:

    1) For people to wait until they are briefly alone before they actually complete the death process is extremely common. It has been suggested that dying people find the process embarrassing, or that they want to spare their families the awfulness of actually witnessing their deaths; but I think there may also be another explanation. The actual death process is apparently controlled by our guides and rescuers, and it may be that they wait to release us into death until we are less likely to be distracted by the sight of our loved ones upset at our having just died. Remember that becoming earthbound is a tremendous risk if we don't immediately leave our death-scene, but instead try to make contact with the living. For whatever reason, what your dad did is extremely common.

    2) Your dad's exclaiming "Open the door!" is interesting. My best guess is that his deathbed visitors were showing him a vision of an inviting door as a way to help him better understand what was happening, and what soon would happen.

    - I hope this helps, dear Searching!
  3. Searching

    Searching New Member

    Yes Roberta, it does help. Thank you for thoughts on this.

    Something else that happened the night he passed. 5 deer showed up outside his window, and my youngest sister, ( one of 5 of us) thought that was some kind of sign. She had heard that deer were a part of the native Indian beliefs as guides for their ( Leader) ( Dad of 5 girls) passing on. I will have to do more research on this.

    I am also intrigued by his Open the Door statement. We could tell he was seeing something, I was hoping the door was to something wonderful, and he was not being shut out. Thank you for a new perspective on this.

    I have been reading here about Carol and Mikey's signs. Last week, as I drove to my Mother's home a couple hours away, I said out loud to Dad, "please give me a sign you are ok".. Looking for something, anything along the way. Nothing was obvious to me, so I stopped for coffee and when I walked into the place to buy it, my favorite song that HE knew I loved, was playing on the sound system. I just smiled so big, and knew that was my sign, since this song is not part of any rotation of usual songs.

    I am going to beleive that he knows we did the best we could for him. Thank you again Roberta.

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