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Do we kind of know when we'll die?

Discussion in 'General Afterlife Discussions' started by someday, Jul 10, 2012.

  1. someday

    someday New Member

    I have heard stories about people mentioning that right before their loved ones passed away, their loved ones gave signs or mentioned about it being their last days; that somehow they knew they were going to die or something was going to happen to them soon.
    I’m asking that because I feel like it’s happening to me whether it’s going to be true anytime soon or not.

    I feel as if the end of the world is coming for me. In the past few years, I have experienced betrayal after betrayal, lost of my son (lost at 5 months premature), and many other things that just make me wonder what is happening to this world? Why is this world
    so cruel? I am so unhappy. Is it my time to go? Because if it is, I don’t mind except that I’ll miss my 2 year old boy. He’s the only reason why I don’t want to go yet because I fear that no one else will be there for him like me. After I lost my (2nd) baby boy in January of this year, I had dreams about him coming to me. One of those dreams was that he and his brother were in the back of my car and I was driving. I lost control of the car and something told me to just let go of the steering wheel because everything would be okay. It seemed like it was my baby boy who was telling me that. I did let go and then we were led on to this light – the same lights that I see in movies when someone dies. That dream was comforting to me because he told me it would be okay. It would be okay if I should ever reach the other side.

    I must admit I have been quite depressed these last two years, even suicidal. I think about it all the time, but have not done anything to actually hurt myself. I even think about killing someone. Someone who has betrayed me very badly. I found this site after I lost my baby boy and I found it to be comforting. But here I am asking if it’s going to be my time soon? What would happen to me if I did actually kill someone else and then me? I have no friends anymore. I feel betrayed, lost, alone, and I hate this world, actually. I want to love it. I want to be happy and live a good life, but everything I encounter keeps disappointing me. Normally, I am a good person. At least I used to feel that I was a great person. Too much heartache and betrayals have harden me though. So, perhaps it is my time?
     
  2. KatLen

    KatLen New Member

    Hi someday,

    Welcome to the forum! I'm so sorry you are going through all of this, and that everything you've experienced has made you feel isolated and depressed. While I can't say for sure if people know that their time is near, I have heard that we plan several "exits" before we come here, which would explain why some people might seem to have an inkling. I've heard it suggested (though not on this forum) that some people, especially those who are very sick, are visited by deceased loved ones as their time draws closer. This is to bring them peace, and help ease any fear they have about what happens next.

    However, I want to flip the lens a bit. To me, your message sounds very much like your true, good, kind soul is starting to fight back against the emotional toll of hardship after hardship. The reason I say that is because -- though I am by no means suggesting that I fully know what you are experiencing -- I went through an extremely difficult time last year, as well. My own mother and my father-in-law both passed away within 4 months of each other; I had a miscarriage; and my 2 year old got very sick several times. During that time, my job was obviously secondary so I got reprimanded for what they deemed poor performance. I felt like every day I was waking up saying "Really? What ELSE? How much more can one person handle?"

    But, like yours, my spirit started to fight back. I reached out to people I could trust, and I got help. My 2 year old was my saving grace at my lowest points. She made me realize that life goes on and that there is so much worth living for. My desire to live was much stronger than my desire to not. Your coming on here is proof that yours is, too.

    It seems so trite to say that our hardest times are the ones in which we grow the most, in which we become exponentially stronger. But I truly believe that that is what we come here to do -- to grow, to learn, to love, and to overcome. You are a strong and beautiful soul. See this through, and know that things will ease for you. You wrote all of this into your life plan, and when you did so, you 100% knew that you would not only survive this difficult time, but advance spiritually because of it.

    I know you are looking for a way to ease the pain you are feeling, which is completely understandable. However, hurting another person and then yourself will not bring you the peace you are searching for -- either in this life or in the afterlife. From everything I've read, those types of actions make it more difficult for souls to forgive themselves and you may wind up writing a more difficult plan next time around.

    Have you spoken to anyone about the depression and suicidal thoughts you are having? It's so important to remember that no one does this alone, that we're all here to help each other. Please reach out to someone close to you. Hopefully, just that action alone will help the burden to feel less heavy.
     
  3. Fasaga

    Fasaga New Member

    Hi Someday

    Welcome to the forum and know we are all here to support you through an obviously difficult time.

    Katlen's response to your post is spot on, I have little to add other than maybe the most difficult thing to do will give you the greatest peace, forgive those who have betrayed you. Your personal growth through forgiveness will give a greater reward than the fleeting satisfaction of revenge and then the ongoing remorse and guilt.

    As Katlen sensed, and so do I, you are a strong and beautiful soul and I think you need to hear that it is OK to fight on as there is a brighter future, your feelings of things ending may also be a feeling of new beginnings.

    Thanks Katlen for a beautiful response.
     
  4. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Welcome, dear Someday! Please, let's make it today - the timing is within your control more than you know. And dear KatLen, what an extraordinary post! Thank you - it is a gift to all who read it. As always, dear Fasaga, what you say is wise and wonderful: I share your thought that the beginning of Someday's healing will be when she can feel and express real forgiveness.

    Dear Someday, I cannot know your history so please forgive and correct me if I make assumptions which turn out to be unwarranted. But from what you say, it seems that you might be still suffering to some extent from postpartum depression following your older son's birth, which of course was compounded by the early graduation of your second son and the hurtful acts of one or more of your friends. Bummer. Anyone would feel knocked down by all of that! You likely could not have controlled any of the blows of the past two years, but what is entirely within your control is where your life is going from here. Some suggestions:

    1) Focus on your living child. He deserves a healthy and happy mother! During the first five years of our children's lives they are building the worldview and temperament that they will have for life, and the last thing you ever want to do is pass depression and rage down to another generation. Live for your son, dear friend. He is worth every bit of the time and love and care that you can give him.

    2) Stop thinking so much about your recent setbacks. We all have a choice about what we will give mind-space to, and in this case you can choose to spend more of every day thinking about your boy, how you want to begin your future, and flowers and puppies and the way that sunlight turns a certain wall butter-yellow. Plan a trip for next year. Start piano lessons. Think about only positive things! Our minds create the reality in which we live, and your dwelling on negativity is briefly creating a bummer of a life for you.

    3) Forgive. This is my core recommendation! When you have completely and from your heart forgiven every person in your life who has wronged you, then you will be free to finally live the life that you and your son deserve. Your anger is poisoning you, dear friend. You must stop it now! Embittering yourself with pointless rage is not hurting the object of your rage at all; instead - I hate to say this - you are letting him win. He has taken so much from you. Why give him more? Instead, forgive him. Realize that your whole life on earth is only one lousy day in school, and whatever he did to you does not matter in a beautiful life that is eternal. Whatever he did was a forgiveness lesson that you and he both planned into this lifetime before you were born, and nothing more. Stop holding on to it! Accept the gift of that lesson, and forgive! You will find lots of advice on how to forgive, both on this site and elsewhere, but what works for me is simply this: two or three times a day, either look at his picture or call his face into your mind, and say - and mean - "You are Christ, pure and innocent. All is forgiven and released." You will say it through gritted teeth the first few times, but over as little as a week if you are doing this exercise sincerely it will begin to work its magic. For good measure, think of everyone else against whom you still have any anger, and go through the same process for each of them. Forgive everyone!

    4) Make new friends. They don't have to be really close friends - you just need a few others to hang out with. If I were you, I would do some mommy-and-me things with your son, and start up conversations with other mothers there. Nobody is going to want to be your friend while you are still locked into yourself and bitter, but as you begin to heal you should be able to start some healthy conversations that revolve primarily around the other person, and you will find friends. Since everybody wants to have friends, most folks are glad to make a new one!

    The fundamental truth about forgiveness is that it is not for the person against whom you feel angry. What does he care, either way? No, forgiveness is always for yourself. Stop giving mind-room to something that means nothing in your eternal life and was only a forgiveness lesson to begin with. Start loving yourself and your son enough to give yourself the gift of a happy heart.

    To answer the questions that you ask in your post:

    1) If you kill someone else and then yourself, once you graduate you will almost certainly feel horrendous guilt as you slap your head and realize that this life was just a brief, strange dream and all of that was only a forgiveness lesson. And you blew it! When you cannot forgive yourself for screwing up your life-lesson and abandoning your tiny child, you will put yourself into outer-darkness punishment. So, don't do it!

    2) For many of us - perhaps for most of us - our higher consciousness is well aware that we are going to take an upcoming planned exit point. At any time from a few days to as much as a year ahead of our departure, we often begin to wind up affairs and make peace with the people around us. But the one who is leaving is not consciously aware. In fact, if you point out how weird it is that someone is giving away all his belonging he will say something like, "Oh, I was sick of that furniture." What you are feeling is not premonitions of death, dear Someday, but rather depression that is being fed and augmented by bitterness.

    It is not uncommon for people who have planned some tough earth-lessons into their lives to also plan an "anchor baby." a child for whom they will have to live on. Your son is that anchor baby for you. Because his young life is your responsibility, you must get hold of yourself now! Learn to forgive, dear beautiful Someday. Your glorious future (and his) can begin today.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2012
  5. someday

    someday New Member

    Wow, thank you all for your beautiful and thorough responses. I didn't expect to hear such powerful words. I have taken everything you all said, even printed it out, and vow to read it over and over until I get better. I have already started to forgive this individual who hurt me so much. It is so true what you said Roberta. It didn't hit me until you said it here. That I am letting him win when I keep wanting to do all this vengeance. Everytime I do it, it feels good right afterwards, but he feels even better because he knows that I'm still hurting and that's why I keep seeking revenge. Last time I decided to move on, I was happy, and that's when he came back to me. Only to hurt me again 10x. Some people just feed on other's sorrows. It gives him a boost to know that he hurt me so bad, so yes, I must stop. At first, I couldn't forgive him because I needed to get an apology from him, but I know that day will never come. Like you said, it's not about him anymore because he really doesn't give a damn. I need to forgive him for myself. He is not worth me letting my life go and ending it in such a terrible way.

    Since I've read all your responses and started to apply it, I have already started feeling better about myself. The mind is so powerful. I've encounter some darkness before-similar to what I'm going through now, and I know the mind has a lot to do with it, but when I go through that darkness, it's so hard to think clear when I'm in so much pain.

    Thanks again my friends for all your kind words. Again, this site has brought a lot of peace to me since I lost my son. I'm so glad I found it. You all are such wonderful people here.
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2012
  6. Fasaga

    Fasaga New Member

    Your welcome
     
  7. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    I am so happy, dear Someday - you have made my day, for sure!!
     
  8. someday

    someday New Member

    Hello all. I can't believe it's been almost four years since I posted on here, but I wanted to give you some update as the replies I received on here helped me so much. As you can see from my original post, I was in a dark place, and things did improve after my OP, but it wasn't until 2015 that I finally felt the clouds drifted away from me.

    After my OP and all your kind and wise words, especially the one regarding forgiveness, I took that to heart and applied it. I forgave everyone and everything that ever hurt me and I stopped seeking vengeance. That alone took a lot of weight off my shoulders. Finally, in late 2014, I decided that I was going to leave my ex-husband once and for all. In early 2015, I finally did it. It took me 15 years to do something I should've done 15 years ago, but I did it. I was so afraid, but ever since I left him, I haven't been this happy in a long time. I feel like I'm finally myself again. I was so bitter and I really missed the old me or at least the good and positive person that I know I am.

    Not only that, but I stayed strong and believed in the Laws of Attraction. That helped made my workplace a lot better. Some of the people there were so cruel to me when I started in late 2011 and even made fun of my grief after I lost my son. I stood strong, fought back by doing my best, and simply just stopped caring what they thought of me. Finally, they couldn't take advantage of me anymore as I wasn't so "new" anymore and I got out of my grief. One of them even got fired for other reasons.

    I also took charge of my health and fitness and am now really enjoying it as part of my lifestyle. Things haven't been this great in such a long time that I am just enjoying it while it lasts. It truly has been miserable the last many years and I'm so glad to see sunshine and rainbows again.

    So anyone out there that feel like life is ending soon, there definitely is hope. You must believe there is. Stay strong.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2016
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  9. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    It's so far back when you started this thread that I've had to take a look back at what your situation was. It's good to hear that eventually you made the move that set you free.
     
  10. Kurt Cobain

    Kurt Cobain Member

    I greive your pain & and I am glad that you are getting better.
     
  11. lybg

    lybg New Member

    So happy to hear you are so, so much better! There is STRENGTH is positive thought and forgiveness! Congratulations.
     

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