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Death of a soulmate(spouse) : Single, Suicide or moving on in life?

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by tobeornotbeQ, Feb 7, 2015.

  1. A veteran of 'Nam? Wow, I tip my hat to you.

    (I'm actually surprised because you "sound" much younger in your posts.)
  2. Not everyone on the forum believes in the "fixed life plans" theory. I've always felt my life to be more of a improv -- you get a general theme and play it by ear (I do believe in spirit guides). Maybe some come here with a fixed script, others with a general theme, others experience total chaos. The truth? I'll punt... Einstein's theory of relativity showed us that time and space is relative to the observer. Maybe truth is relative to the believer? (Think I could get a Nobel Prize for that? :eek:
  3. Thank you for your service. My dad was in the military for 3 years, during that time my mom had her first baby. When the army doc brought forceps for the delivery my mom asked what it was and he told her to shut up. I hate that my mom had to experience that attitude, much less a wounded, traumatized solder. One would hope the army hospitals and treatment would improve with time, but I think there is still a long way to go.
  4. janef

    janef Moderator

    I think you are right about that Vic. As unique as we all are, I believe so. Good one!
  5. poeticblue

    poeticblue Moderator

    I assumed that Highlander was somewhere in his 50's as most people are on this forum. I don't feel comfortable asking people what their age is. But Highlander is young at heart.
  6. Birki

    Birki Member

    tobeornottobeQ, I am very sorry you are in pain. I don't want to do a whole lot of quoting, but I do want to respond to your thread.

    First, the whole Jesus thing. Roberta addresses this in other posts, but she has clearly stated she had to make a decision whether to be Christian or whether to follow Jesus. She chose Jesus and rejected Christianity. Her references to Jesus are because of his teachings: love and forgiveness. Those are the only things that are really important.

    I can see that you have love. You have very strong love for your wife. So then the other question comes into play. Where is the forgiveness? Who or what do you need to forgive regarding your wife's death? Her doctors? Her family? Yourself? I understand this question might make you angry or upset, but it is an important one to consider.

    I think one thing that is missing in this thread is the big picture. That is, there are no wrong choices. The time we are experiencing is an illusion because in our current form we are not capable of understanding or experiencing all that is, all at once. We are experiencing this earthly reality because we have chosen to. We knew coming in that it could be rough. But we chose to do it. So if you kill yourself, you will only have yourself to forgive.

    The problem is, in our current form we are like children. We can't understand the big picture. A parent can tell a child not to get into a car with a stranger even if they offer candy, even if they need help looking for a lost puppy. Studies have shown many children will get into the car anyway, because why not? They have been in a car before, that isn't scary. They like candy, or want to help find a puppy. But what the parents didn't warn the child about what could come after, because it is too much for the child to comprehend.

    We don't know everything. We don't understand everything. It is too much for us to comprehend. But the reality is we are already ok. Time is just an illusion. But the human perception of time is pretty much impossible for us to overcome in our current form. What are years to us is really an instant. In reality, there is only one instant. So while you really can't make any wrong choices in the long view, your perception of reality could be greatly altered by what choices you do make. I am glad you are thinking about your options and not taking the express bus. Because you are valuable, and important, and needed on this earthly plane right now in ways you may not or cannot understand.
  7. janef

    janef Moderator

    Birki, Great points made here. Glad you are back!
  8. This was a beautiful post. I like it very much too.
  9. Celera

    Celera Active Member

    Very well said, Birki.
  10. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    Thank you, Vic. A tip of the hat to you as well!

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