1. Afterlife Forums is an online, interactive community designed to give seekers direct access to prominent researchers, to afterlife literature, and to one another in order to foster both spiritual growth and public interest in life after death.
    Dismiss Notice

Death of a soulmate(spouse) : Single, Suicide or moving on in life?

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by tobeornotbeQ, Feb 7, 2015.

  1. ravensgate

    ravensgate Active Member

    Glad to read you're ok. It's still my hope that once your cat passes, you will continue on, in this realm.
    Heaven will wait, and so will she :)
  2. TobeornotbeQ,

    I wanted to say I appreciate you letting us know what is going on. I like to watch the Walking Dead (in reruns) every once in awhile, I admit, not for the story lines, but because I used to live not too far from where it is filmed, and I like to see if I recognize some of the landmarks. I also like the zombies I have to admit, I'm a bit of a Halloween freak so I like stuff like that. So I haven't paid that much attention to the main characters or plots, but I do like it because it is different, with the zombie aspect, and because of where it is filmed. I also appreciate your honesty and how you are finding your way day by day. Sometimes if I'm having a hard time I remind myself, it's moment by moment. I don't know where the path leads or what it is ultimately for(at least consciously) but I feel an urging to keep pushing, to go on. A nudging if you will. It's what's kept me going. I don't feel the despair you feel but I know the feeling of being lost. You mention what is the point of a soul being a mentally disabled child? I ask myself that every once in awhile about my 20 year old son. How his body must sometimes be a prison to him; he can walk, run and laugh, those kinds of things, but he doesn't speak that much. And he is very frustrated at times. He has down syndrome and epilepsy and was diagnosed as autistic when he was 16. It is a long story why he got diagnosed so late with autism, and diagnosed at all, really. My younger son is mildly autistic. I have to say with my older son especially, he exudes a special kind of love which is palpable. So I think he is here to teach others about pure unconditional love, which is a very important lesson. And he is, thankfully, happy most of the time. He was born with a severe heart defect and would have not lived had he not had surgery at 4 months old. So for him to be born at all, was a miracle in itself, and I know he is here for a reason. I know what you mean about the tragedies. I just try to do what I can (sign petitions) and some things really get to me. But I know ultimately though that this is a dream within a dream, just a way station to the goal of self-realization. (Which I suspect is better than we can even begin to imagine).
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
  3. TheEscapist

    TheEscapist New Member

    Well there were tons of things that happened before and after we met, that told me he was my twin soul. Before we met in person, I was instantly drawn to him and had this overwhelming feeling that I'd known him for forever. I don't know what it was, but when he typed out the first sentence he sent to me (note: I knew nothing about him at this point as we met online in a game) I knew I loved him. It was scary, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I loved him. Then when we finally met in person, I felt like I was coming home. I've had dreams about him in which we communicated and he told me things that I later found out were true and couldn't have known otherwise. Like when I dreamed he was in bed with his new girlfriend at the time and got up and said "I have to find her." I woke up and a few days later he called me and told me he had a girlfriend but couldn't stay with her because I was always on his mind despite the fact that he'd been ignoring me for a few weeks.

    When we were together, he told me point blank that he thought I was his soulmate one day and I laughed it off, even though I knew that he was probably right at the time. Even after we broke up, he told me that he would never be able to move on because no other woman compared to me and that he would always love me more than anyone else, and he stayed true to his word just like I stayed true to my word to never leave him no matter what. I even told my now fiancé that if he ever made me choose between my friendship with my ex and my relationship with him, that our relationship would have to end because I couldn't live without my ex in my life.

    I also remembered sitting at my computer one day and just talking out loud. I told him I was sorry and really missed him and just wanted him to talk to me if he could hear me right then and there since we hadn't spoken in like a month. Sure enough, less than five minutes later, he called me to say hi and see how I was doing. There were other moments like how when I went to visit him after not seeing him for two years, it felt like time hadn't passed between us. In fact, that that was probably the day (yes, I flew over 3,000 miles to see him for one day) that cemented things for me because when I looked in his eyes I knew he was thinking exactly the same thing I was thinking, especially when he kept asking if I was going to leave again or not. He loved me, I loved him, and it was just understood that no matter what happened between us we would always be a part of each other.

    Then there was the matter of his death. Literally two days before he died, I had the overwhelming urge to write him a letter apologizing for everything that had went wrong between us. Something inside me told me to send it to him and when I finally gave into the feeling, I found out he had died the previous day. There were other signs after he died. I did, and still sometimes do, see him in my dreams and we just sit and talk about life. I still speak out loud to him when no one else is around and I know he hears me because I can feel him in my heart when I speak. So yeah, there's no doubt in my mind that he's my twin soul, and as much as I would sometimes love to end my life to be with him, I know that isn't the path I should take or the one he'd want me to take which is why I soldier on. And yes, I love my fiancé, but it isn't the same intense, overpowering love that I feel for my twin soul, but I don't think that means I can't marry him either.
  4. ravensgate

    ravensgate Active Member

    Thank you, TheEscapist. Sounds like you had something and someone very special indeed. Consider yourself fortunate, as many walk this Earth alone, seeking for that twin soul and never finding him/her :)
  5. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    "I don't have "proof", I am giving my opinion. I don't expect you to share it, I don't necessarily expect anyone else to share it -- it's an opinion. I'm not mocking anyone for seeing the positive in life -- hell, I used to be that person, before my husband died. If people can see the positive, good for them, seriously. There is no good in life for me anymore, and never will be, and yes, that is every second of every day until I can finally die."

    Bluebird, This is so accurate written and i agree with every single word what you shared. This is exact how i feel and i know i will feel so till i die.
    SashaS likes this.
  6. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}} I know.
  7. Ski

    Ski Member

    I should post about my past life where I committed suicide, amd what I was shown for the repercussions in this life because of that choice. However, my post isn't about scaring you into doing the right thing, or add any blame or guilt...I honestly feel for you. I know how a broken heart feels, and I know that a persona can die from a broken heart. But I want you to know, because you are still young...and healthy, strong body...that we are here for a higher reason, and that calling, that soul contract....is that even if you were the last person on this earth, your soul path, beyond your soul mates, twin flames, family, ect....has a responsibility first, to yourself and God, or the higher spiritual realms.

    Sometimes it's hard to fulfill that, I've seen people give up, mainly older people, after their spouse dies. I also have a tendency to believe, that most of their purpose was fulfilled.

    Some people die young, they fulfill their purpose, and they go...but it's not by suicide. If you consciously take your life, it could cause you to not see your loved one in other lives where you would have been together. Not to punish you, but to learn whatever it was that led you to do it....it could be independence, self love, self sufficiency, strength, ect., so that you are not codependent spiritually, you are being groomed in the spiritual image of God...or higher energy.

    Above and beyond other souls here, our main purpose and responsibility is to our spiritual growth and that is a contract between you and the spiritual realms...and the lessons are taken on, and spiritually learned, independently.

    Perhaps she came into your life to show you how to take care of, be strong, and love yourself...and now it's up to you to learn how to love yourself like she showed you how.

    We are all teachers and students, but we are students first....or else we wouldn't be here.

    This is very much like a spiritual school house, amd if you suicide...it's likened to a high school drop out. You may not regret it right now, but you will later. What comes around goes around. ...that's the truth.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2018
    Monika likes this.
  8. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    I am not sure if your post was directed to me or to Monika or to tobeornotbeQ, or to someone else.
    If it was to me -- I am not young, nor am I healthy or strong. Aside from that, though, I do not agree or believe in a god, and if there is one I feel no responsibility whatsoever to it, as it allowed my husband to die. My loyalty is to my husband and to my other loved ones. I gave up on life the moment I knew my husband died, and that is never going to change. I also do not believe that if I kill myself it will cause me to not be with my husband in the afterlife (or in other lives, if reincarnation exists -- but if it does exist, and if we do have free will, I never intend to incarnate again anyway).
    Monika likes this.
  9. Ski

    Ski Member

    I see...I wasn't talking to you bluebird, I did read your post though.

    I guess getting an outside perspective, I can only give my experiences and can not speak for you personally. My sister lost her first born baby, she felt the same way for a long time. It's hard to see or feel things when you are clouded by grief, especially if there's been multiple hard times.

    I should clarify, that I did not mean the afterlife, as I saw for myself...I believe you will.

    What I meant was, that when we incarnate here, it is for spiritual growth. Unfortunately most of that growing is through pain and heartache. Most people do not realize or have forgotten their inherent knowledge, that they are born with, that we are eternal.

    I've met many people, who feel the same way as you...

    I can not speak on behalf of everyone, but only share what I had seen and learned after my NDE.

    I use the term God, because people relate to that, and understand that concept....but what I really mean, is a higher consciousness and light.

    That's one of the reasons, we all will not agree or see eye to eye, as we are all on different spiritual paths....and we are made to live this life, in the here and now...and it's very painful, there's a million reasons why.

    I have lost loved ones, other children, starting at the age of 10... not always by death, some of them left me at such a young age, including my mother....I know the bitterness. It was that prayer when I asked about why mother did what she did...that it was answered and showed to me, from a past life. The past, present and future, are all tied together.

    I understand your feelings, and the cloud of grief that looms over so after death...it's one of the reasons why I had a hard time accepting the psychic phenomen, and experiences I've had....but it's also why I join these websites and share it, too.

    I hold tight to what I have been shown, and I've stepped out, amd still throu my own grief, my own traumas, I feel compassion for others, such as you, the poster, everyone, including myself.

    There is an afterlife. If you ever want to pm me and talk, I am here.
    bluebird likes this.
  10. bluebird

    bluebird Well-Known Member

    You and I don't agree on all of this (afterlife stuff), but I want to thank you for your compassionate and understanding response, and for not trying to push your views on me (I mean this sincerely; sometimes tone isn't clear online, so I want to make sure to be clear that I am being sincere, not snarky or sarcastic). I like having discussions on these matters with other people, and I very much appreciate being able to have these discussions with people with whom I don't necessarily share all of the same views, but with whom I can genuinely "talk" because we are able to be respectful of each other. So thank you for being one of those people. :)
    Also, I am sorry for your losses. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
    pandora97 and Ski like this.
  11. Ski

    Ski Member

    Aww, many hugs to you as well...you don't have to apologize to me(although that was very sweet of you) I do understand, I have not walked this earth and not been touched by tragedy, pain, ect. My job, nor intention is not to get defensive, or else I would be without faith in my own experiences. My job is to be here, to tell my story, and hopefully comfort those who need it. But, I am not just Sharing my beliefs, Im sharing whats happened to me, Im strong in my conviction, first hand witness to my own accounts. I am here if you need me, to talk, and I have no agenda to push or pull you in any direction, you are your own spirit, soul...light. I see things you won't, but someday...here or in the afterlife, you will know for yourself, Huggs, love and light to you Mrs. Blue*
    bluebird likes this.
  12. Monika

    Monika Active Member

    Ski, somewhere deep inside i agree with you about suicide..Also when i asked Michel what would be if i kill myself his answer was: it would be a disaster for us. I didnt ask more about that. I know that it would not be a solution. And anyway i live with such thoughts every single day. I have created many plans in my head how to do this and to be sure that i wont fail. Thoughts about suicide still comforts me. Very much. But i try to pass day by day with hope that i wont need to stay here very long and with knowledge that there is a reason in everything. But it is not easy to hope for fast death when you are 31. Im 31. I can not imagine myself living 20 more years, or 10, even 5 or only until this summer... I beg all the powers every single day please please let me go and be with my husband forever in our love. Even the understanding that i need to fullfill my life purpose here does not help. I count every day. One day passed - one day im closer to my love. Sometimes i count hours and when its very hard even minutes.
    After Michels death strange things started to happen for me. I know this is wrong thread to speak about that but to end my message i want to say that few days ago i met one sami shaman. It was one more person you confirmed what is happening for me and he said: "people go through this spiritual awakening path for many many years, my own awakening was rather fast, but yours go in speed of light. Because you have not much time left. And you know that". I said i know. I knew from when i was child that i will die young. I didnt like this, i pushed it away. But now this is what gives me hope.
    Ski likes this.
  13. Ski

    Ski Member


    I often go through life with the same feelings. People often don't open up about their depression and grief, unless I open that door when Imsee someone struggling. I don't always know what to say, but I know the grief and pain....we are not alone in our feelings. So many people, I've come across...present a happy, carefree, upbeat attitude...some of the happiest, strongest people I have met, committed suicide. Shocking because, nobody saw it coming. It was hard not to come up with theories of them being murdered by someone else, because they are the last people anyone would see committing suicide.

    I have such compassion, love, amd understanding because there was a long period in my life, where I not only thought about...I unconsciously almost did it, I wrote about my NDE on here....I do take responsibility for being wreckless with my life amd causing it.

    I was shown after that, that I had caused my death in two other lives...one of them induced suicide, the other was similar to what I did in this life. ( I also had to take spiritual classes on the other side , men in robes, the cathedral buildings, ect...they can make one take spiritual classes during your sleep if you a repeat suicide) I will make a post, I have many drawings of what I seen. Often those who commit suicide here, have done it in other lives. Like myself.

    Do you know why so many are depressed, and commit suicide?
    In our soul, we know we aren't worthless, we know we are great, strong, graced, loved, beautiful, precious, eternal, beings...but they don't show us that here. Many of us dont get treated very good here.. in fact we get treated just the opposite, over a long period of time. It wears a person down, especially if it's done at an early age, and by abuse. That's why when we are dragged down, attacked, bullied, slandered, ect....that we become defensive. Yes, it's to protect our feelings, but it's also because deep down...it's not the truth, and that's why we fight back. We may not consciously know our instincts of why we fight back....and science will call it self preservation, but even a person who feels they have no self worth, and is suicidal...will fight back.

    If we knew inside, we were truly worthless, unloved, and this was it...we wouldn't care. We would become conditioned to be cold, hardened, unnerved, psychopaths. While we do have people like that, and while many of us have become hardened with different aspects of narcissi , we have come a long way...we have learned a lot, and it's socially open...and with technology, it is blaring obvious we still have more to learn. Racism, hate, prejudice, ect, ect.

    We are in a phase, and open wounds are exposed. If you have ever been seriously hurt, you know having open wounds can be life threatening. But you also know, in order to heal, you have to disinfect, and expose the wound to air. You a
    So know, that there will scars.

    Our spirits are the same way.

    Once we get the other side, those wounds are shown, and healed through high frequencies of energy, amd light. Some call it high levels of love to be more specific. What is looked at, is the amount of suffering, and how long a soul was able to hold on, and how they fought through it...just like you.

    When you get to the other side, the frequency is so high, that you won't even remember what happened here...but you will be shown.

    When I had my NDE, I didn't even make it into the light...and the trauma here was already wiped away. You know if you have slept really well, how it heals the body on a lower level...take that and times it by a trillion, amd that's what being in spirit is like. Our time here is so small compared to eternity. Time there is different, too...because the vibrations are so high, time flies.....because the vibrations here are so low, time drags on. Time is measured by frequency, and not a clock.

    We are all in this boat together here. We unconsciously pick up on others energy, pain and grief, happy and sad....it's in the atmosphere, but the earth (trees, plants, ect) combat and cleanse the energy, amd the weather patterns are a direct mirror of that energy, it also serves to help us on an energetic and spiritual frequency. Example, rain and thunderstorms help us to confront sad aspects to our lives that we carry around, and are not facing head on.

    It is our society, and the way we have been raised....that we have lost or buried our spiritual roots here....this earth was made to help us on our journey, through its own healing frequencies, but we have forgotten that...and stopped eating straight from the earth, we have traded outside activities for inside technology, amd do not spend enough time in nature to let it heal us.

    I'm sorry, I'm going on and on...I will leave it at this right now. I hope you have a wonderful Easter, Monika..
    SashaS and Monika like this.
  14. Maria

    Maria Member

    Ski, I found reading your views on suicide fascinating as you have so much vision and empathy. I often think that those who are highly sensitive and affected by the nastiness of this world, come from a different spiritual realm; one that was more gentle and kind. I also agree with your opinion that committing suicide could result in being deprived of seeing your loved one in the afterlife. Another penalty might be reincarnating and having to endure the same misery again. Like Monika does, at the end of every day I count it as another step closer to being reunited with Peter, and my philosophy is that as no one is promised tomorrow, our demise may be sooner than we imagine.
    Monika and Ski like this.
  15. Ski

    Ski Member

    Thank you Maria. That means a lot, I do have a lot of empathy for others passing through this world, nobody gets out unscathed...and nobody should be punished, or shunned for being themself and going through hard times. People have closed themselves off, fear of being negative, or ashamed because they are going through trials...after all, we all do. I think we have forgotten who we are, and our spiritual nature. We have lost touch, and lost our knowledge of this earth's help...we did evolve physically from here. I'm going camping this weekend...I encourage others to spend a lengthy time out in nature...it is greatly healing. Take a walk, hike, camp, fish, build a bonfire, or make a garden, ect. We were meant to be pushed in the sunlight, and among trees, plants, flowers, animals, water, or under the stars.

    I do not personally believe if one commits suicide, they won't be reunited with their loved ones in the afterlife, that would be punishment, and in the higher energetic realms of vibration, punishment is not apart of the energy. I should clarify, that I do believe in reincarnation...and I mean in life, given the motive and intention. If one creates a codependency on others, they will have to eventually stand on their own...and that is for spiritual growing.

    We are given family, friends, neighbors and others for companionship, guidance, inspiration, and love....but we should not commit suicide in fear, or loneliness, we were made to overcome codependency, and negativity. Often when one is suicidal, they aren't making correct choices to overcome their situation...they aren't moving forward amd learning to really stand on their own, they are the lost, amd living in the darkness....when there is light, everyday we wake up to the sun shining...the sun never gives up, you can count on it, you know it's there. We are suppose to love simple, amd free....and create a strong character of resilience, love, forgiveness, independence, and faith. That's what spiritual growing is all about. Opening up, letting the light in, even if that means going outside amd sitting in the sun.

    Living is also taking pride in small things, a garden, your yard, children, cooking, and all the other small things we do everyday, not go through the motions, but actually opening up and experiencing what we are doing. It's the small things that make up a full day, it's the small things that really count.

    Happy Easter, Maria
  16. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    We should be wary of believing we know what's best for others simply because it's what we respond positively to. As incarnates we will not all have similar levels of spiritual progression and what's right for one isn't necessarily right for another.

    As I understand matters, punishment is never part of life in the etheric world, be they 'lower' or 'higher' vibrational realms. But I do agree that those who end their own lives will not be prevented from later meeting up with their loved ones. And if the principle of soul-cells is as some believe, we always accompany one another on our spiritual odyssey from, and back to, the source.

    I also subscribe to the notion of multiple lives but I suspect we know little about how reincarnation truly works.


    Would it were so simple.....

    As I remarked earlier, we should be wary of believing we know what's best for others simply because it's what we respond positively to.
  17. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    That's not what I've learned. There are no such 'penalties' or such punishment. But who knows what one might decide to be the 'right way' to resume spiritual progress after such a desperately sad, apparently premature end to an incarnation? One might choose - with the counsel and support of others - a new life intended to address perceived shortcomings in the previous life. Not being deprived by anyone of seeing one's loved ones but effectively delayed?
    Monika likes this.
  18. Ski

    Ski Member

    Im just giving advice, but you are entitled to your opinion. People have free will, they can do as they wish...I believe nature is healing, amd so I encourage others to try it out. I'm not making anybody do anything.

    Thanks for the reply.
  19. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Of course folk can do what they wish but advice is best tailored - in my opinion - to the one needing it. Advice is fine when you know what someone is seeking and when you've found that advice has worked well in the past.

    Opinions and beliefs are somewhat different and may be less helpful than one might think. I have opinions on many issues but in respect of spiritual ones I'm most likely to follow the guidance offered by teachers and guides.
  20. Ski

    Ski Member

    I see, I'm just throwing simple suggestions out there....not really guiding anyone in specific or tailoring a certain person. The advice or suggestion is every day stuff, that most people do. It's not extreme, or pushy, or leading others astray.

    Planting, cooking, getting in the sun, or being out in nature is normal every day activities. It wasn't meant to lead or command anyone to take a certain spiritual course...and I did not reference that it was the best spiritual cure. I'm not sure you quite understood that, it's every day living earthy stuff...that most people do anyways.

    It wasn't meant to be compared to the level of spiritual guidance of a shaman or teacher.

    No herbs, chants, prayers, Jesus, diety, special baths, ect.......just normal every day simple things is what I wrote about. It's a spiritual forum, we are allowed to write and I did not address a specific person to my suggestions. But thanks.
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2018

Share This Page