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Death of a soulmate(spouse) : Single, Suicide or moving on in life?

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by tobeornotbeQ, Feb 7, 2015.

  1. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    PB you are too kind. I'm in my 60's or around 450 in dog years. I used to think people of that age sat around waiting for the Grim Reaper; funny how time changes one's perspective. Live and learn. Rinse and Repeat.
  2. Eli


    I think this is well said, in addition to Birki's point.

    We have a very limited perspective during our time on this earth. I know it must be frustrating and I know it sounds like a cop out answer to grief, saying "oh yeah, there's probably more knowledge and information but you don't know about it." During a time of grief, it's difficult to come to accept answers like this without irrefutable proof. The ironic thing is, by saying that there is more knowledge and information when we die, it may pave way more motive to actually commit suicide.

    But if there's one thing I've learned throughout my short stay here, is that pain eventually fades away. Depression pills really suck, and therapy sucks even more. But the most common phrase that's said (it gets better) is common because it's true. I do truly believe there's a purpose to everything, and sometimes we are blessed enough to gain the insight during this life.

    I know that's also a bullshit, cop-out answer, and I truly wish I had an answer for you, TobeornottobeQ. However, different people have different motivations for weaving their way through a difficult life, and it's our hope here that you find yours.
  3. Its good to see you can examine your thoughts and statements in an honest and open manner, Alot of people in this world would rather die that admit any of it.

    Honestly I cant say i believe or disbelieve anything you have said, because i find myself caught between a world of material science and a world of people with experiences including myself that lie either on the fringe or beyond current science understanding. Personally I am one of those stupid people who don't take any advice really well even when its based on knowledge and logic(although what has been said on these boards is debatable at best) - did i say im also argumentative ;-). Ultimately i learn from experience. As such taking my life will be one of those experiences, there is a huge possibility it will be my last and put me/ego in a permanent class of idiocy and stupidity. But to me it will give me relief either in oblivion or an afterlife/reincarnation where i can be with or at least closer to my wife.
  4. Eli


    Well, since you learn through experience, look at it this way.

    If what lies for us beyond death is truly oblivion, then you'll get there eventually. Why rush things? There are other things to learn in this life, and things to enjoy even without a spouse. If you enjoy learning, why give up the experience?

    If what lies for us beyond death, on the other hand, truly is an afterlife, your wife will still be there waiting for you, and you'll reunite eventually.

    Since you learn from experience, I'll give you a sort of analogy. Say you're a child and your parents give you a box. Inside the box is either candy or shredded paper. Waiting won't change the outcome of what's in the box, but in either case, going through life first before opening it would be much more rewarding, whatever's inside. I don't know if im articulating this correctly. Like if you opened the box in your 50's to give you a solemn reminder of your childhood, as opposed to opening it then and there and having it completely fade from memory.

    I'm complete ass with words, but I kind of hope you (maybe) get the idea of what I'm saying.
  5. TheEscapist

    TheEscapist Member

    I believe you can have more than one soul mate since soul mates are just people who are apart of your soul group/family. However we only have one twin flame which is the person who is literally your other half. Your ying to your yang, the fire to your ice, etc. With that said, my twin flame died three years ago and I still remember the last conversation we had over the phone as if it were yesterday. He called me and was crying and yelling as he told me that it wasn't fair what I had done to him. That no other woman or person compared to how he felt about me, and to this day I still feel the same way about him.

    When we broke up I was a complete wreck, and I won't go into detail about it here, but I literally fell in love with him sight unseen the moment we met online for the first time. My spirit was drawn to him and I've never felt that way about any other human being before or since. After he died, I seriously contemplated killing myself a few times. In fact I came up with a plan to run my car off a bridge on the highway and into the guardrail just to make it quick and easy, but I pushed through. Now I'm engaged to a great guy whom I consider to be one of my soulmates, but I'm not going to lie and say that everything is roses and rainbows now because when my ex died a chunk of my soul was taken away as well.

    Even now I still feel like a part of me is missing, but because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will see my ex in the future, I'm okay. I can wake up and go about my life knowing that he's still here, just sort of in the background. I still talk out loud to him quite a bit, especially when I'm frustrated or really excited about something, and I know he hears me. Just like I know he'll be there waiting for me when my time to leave this Earth. And if I'm being really honest, I don't fear death anymore, in fact I sometimes yearn for it because I know it will mean being reunited with the other part of me that is now missing.
  6. ravensgate

    ravensgate Active Member

    May I ask how you know without a shadow of a doubt?
    Have you received signs or other types of communications that removed all doubt?
    Thank you :)
  7. Well Ive learned a new word and a new meaning.

    Not a great method i have to say, people survive all sorts of car accidents with horrible injuries. Its also selfish in that it can take other people with you... although if you believe in plans then it was there time to go. http://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/...ring-in-car-crash-that-killed-pregnant-woman/

    I'm not sure were your at, if your currently engaged to your current partner but still feel linked to your past partner in such away that you yearn for death, to me it sounds they are more a fill in / replacement till you die. In fact the word yearn, implies a suicide risk especially if things go bad.

    I'm not saying your relationship is in this category. But some people look for someone to replace the soulmates/twinflame they have lost to death in this life. They then go through a serious often disastrous marriages/relationships, where the main problem is they are always comparing/yearning for their lost soulmate/twinflame.
  8. ravensgate

    ravensgate Active Member

    Anyone heard from the OP (tobeornotbeQ)?
  9. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Curious how someone once active suddenly disappears from the scene....
  10. ravensgate

    ravensgate Active Member

    My sentiment also.
    Hope I am totally wrong, and the OP's return will end the sinking feeling I have :-(
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
  11. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    Oh dear. I just took a look back at what he said in his most recent postings from a month back. :( I hope the absence is down to having found another website.

    Maybe not curious at all, rather very sad.... :(
  12. Well im still living.....

    I got to the point where i had the means and was faced with only one task left before ctb. To take our cat to a no kill shelter. I couldnt do it, I relised it would be a betrayl of my wife's memory to abandon it and ultimatley its my responsibility to look after her. Also i found watching "The Walking Dead" to be helpful, besides zombies it deals with death and suicide in a confronting way. The show doesnt lecture on either choice, rather it presented both sides evenley. For some all hope is lost and with a bleak future ahead they choose to die, while for others despite the pain they choose to survive in the present.

    Some point in the future the cat will most likley die before me. But i get the message that suicide otherwise known as "catch the bus or to check out, is not what my wife would have wanted. So im on the path of letting go. But im not sure what is next, i still see my future is bleak. Having not worked for awhile, my career aspirations are shot. Im looking at getting a low level job and maybe start online dating( im feeling very alone). But im also thinking that once my cat dies i leave my country and take to the world where risks and adventure abound, which maybe result in my "planned death" if what is written on these forums is true.

    But everyday i still find myself jealous of other people dieing, looking at the news in a world of billions and wondering if there is any meaning to it what so ever. People die everyday, What lesson is meant to be learnt by being murdered by idiots or people who snap? What lesson is meant to be learnt by a soul when it takes the role of child who is mentaly disabled or brainwashed and used to kill many people by suicide bombings? It just seems so meaningless.
  13. We all have different opinions, and what makes sense to me is different to the usual. I don't think that we select a particular life to learn lessons. I don't believe in reincarnation; we only incarnate once in the physical. We are born as a new soul, from a different vibration, and the soul has to work with the DNA of the parents to express his or her life. Which is why we are all different.

    The new incarnated soul makes choices all his life with personal responsibility, but much of life is haphazard and depends on fortune, there is no plan. It's just to gain experience of the physical, however good or bad. In a way it's a bit like a Hell. A very short time in the scale of the eternal, and grossly overrated, but we have to do it and survive physically as long as we can. Your real life begins after physical death; you have no choice but to exist in the different vibration of spirit and adjust to it. You tend to be attracted to those of like mind. The earthly problems which cause so much misery are no longer present. The mind rules all. Nobody knows much about it, but it seems that you can progress and improve yourself towards eternity, no matter what your starting point is.

    The above is based on the evidence I found during my investigations, and my sense of reason, but it's only my opinion and best guess. Does anyone share my views? Probably not .........
  14. I think you summed it up quite well.
  15. marmaladecat

    marmaladecat Member

    I like the simplicity of this line, normy. :)
  16. janef

    janef Moderator

    Good to hear from you tobeornotobQ, I had been wondering about you also. Glad you are taking care of kitty, and seeking companionship is a major step, hope you follow the "nudging".... it is the right path, your true self (intuition) will guide you. Cheers!
  17. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I share some of your perspectives, normy but only a few.

    You say "We all have different opinions, and what makes sense to me is different to the usual." That's exactly what I've said about myself in the past. I could offer suggestions why we feel similarly but those suggestions would cut across some of the very things about which you hold firm views!
  18. mac

    mac senior member Staff Member

    I don't subscribe to the notion that we're here to learn lessons - we're here to experience life in-the-body. Some of that will feel good, some of it will feel bad; the proportions of each will vary from person to person. As incarnates we understand little, if any, of the purpose of life here. When we leave this dimension we will learn more or maybe regain the understanding we had before we came here.

    If I'm wrong I'll need to start over and try again to gain understanding - that would seem pointless.
  19. janef

    janef Moderator

    Normy, agree with most everything you say, and especially the line marmaldecat points out..."The mind rules all. Nobody knows much about it, but it seems that you can progress and improve yourself towards eternity, no matter what your starting point is"
    I believe in reincarnation, from my experience I have seen evidence of it however seeing how complex our true reality is, I could be wrong. If we are all "one conciousness" it is beyond my comprehension. Fascinating to explore, especially the many children that have come into the world telling stories of a previous life with many accurate validations of things they could not have known.
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
  20. janef

    janef Moderator

    I love hearing others views, and how they came to such conclusions. Some of my views are firm, some not, doesn't matter. There is always something new to learn or see from a different percpective.

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