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Death of a soulmate(spouse) : Single, Suicide or moving on in life?

Discussion in 'Spiritual Growth & Development' started by tobeornotbeQ, Feb 7, 2015.

  1. mac

    mac Staff Member

    We are all privileged in being allowed to write (within website rules) whatever we wish to and that goes equally for responses to what others write.

    In an earlier posting you said you were giving advice but now you've changed that to saying you are making suggestions and that's what I do when folk come with questions or if they're airing their problems.

    I realise I'm reactive to folk giving advice and that's because I've encountered situations when individuals give 'advice' without their having any competence and/or without due regard to another's personal situation. I'm not suggesting that's the situation in your case, however. I'm simply offering an explanation for the general approach I take.
  2. Monika

    Monika Well-Known Member

    Mac, i agree with you. At least this what i know assure me that even if i kill myself i will meet and be with Michel. He spoke about "dissaster" for us. I did not go deeper into this topic with him but i think i know the answer to myself. We carry there our personality, memories, mind and everything. Probably the only one thing what we miss there is the possibility to create excuses for ourself. If here i can think for myself: " i know, if i kill myself it will hurt my family horribly much, my friends will blame themselve because they didnt see this coming, but this emotional pain is killing me too slow, i miss Michel too much". Maybe after there is no but anymore. No excuse for myself. Michel knows that im very very sensitive about emotions of others. Maybe this would be our personal dissaster because when we would meet i could not turn my face to our love, to grow it and progress with it because i would be overhelmed with sadness of pain what i left below to all i love. Maybe this would last until every single of them would come and i could finally say how sorry i am for the pain i caused. Maybe only then we could continue our way.

    This is my feelings and my oppinion about my own situation. I know nothing about suicide affects in afterlife in general. Just i believe there is not one answer as every suicide helds different storry behind and different reasons. This should resonate different in afterlife too. Probably...
  3. Monika

    Monika Well-Known Member

    Ski, i love nature too! I was born and grew up and spend solid part of my life in a big cities. Im so called "asphalt child". And i can say that it was the easiest and fastest decission for me to make when my husband said lets quit our jobs and travel to live to place we love, then we will never need to wait for holidays to go there. We had 10 months here together. But those 10 months were magical for us And it is still magical. I am so gratefull for Michel that we came here. Every single day i say thank you. Im very happy to be able to drink water just from mountain river, to say hi for moose every morning, meet arctic hare during night walks and most fun is to find some reindeer traces directly near the doors of the place i work.
    We both had this "nature call" and we reached to fullfill our dream.
    But i totally understand that this not what every one likes or feel so good. I can say NONE of our friends from previous places where we lived came to visit us here. Its either too cold (in winter) or too much mosquito (in summer) :)
  4. mac

    mac Staff Member

    I think you are very knowledgeable about many matters, Monika, even if you're not always consciously aware about what you know. ;) You have given very sound reasons and ideas about why your Michel has said it would be a disaster to end you life to be with him. Your words "We carry there our personality, memories, mind and everything." are exactly right in my view and carry great significance. There is no hiding, no excuses like we make in this world but having said that we will not be judged harshly by others. The harsh judgement will come from ourselves, about ourselves, when it is deserved.....

    I haven't found any clear, definitive guidance about suicide. There are lots of understandable reasons NOT to end one's life but how it impacts us after we have passed over remains unclear to me. I'm sure, though, that personal circumstances come into play and that many ideas about suicide are probably misguided.
  5. Ski


    Hi Mac, I understand....I think you have a different perception of my intentions as well. I'm suggesting or giving advice about nature, amd every day normal living stuff that might help one....whatever works for one might not for another. But asking one to feel their experience here, whatever gives them happiness or an inkling of joy for a few seconds or minutes, Imho, is not leading one astray or going to harm them. I realize if I told them to climb a mountain and sacrifice a child, or stay 48 hours until God speaks to them, Or to fast for 40 days, might cause severe emotional amd psychological distress...and can be dangerous, but that is not comparing oranges to apples in my post. I'm very competent as I understand that reasoning....on your side amd mine. Your suggesting my advice is harmful...I see no harm in every day normal activities, but yes...if I were suggesting, something that could lead them astray, or promising something that could harm them...then I could see how that would warrant an overly overzealous response. At this point, I do not.
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2018
  6. mac

    mac Staff Member

    My perceptions are often different from those of others....

    As I mentioned earlier, advice is different from opinion.

    Did I say that it would?

    And if you had suggested any such thing then I would have strongly condemned you for such foolishness. You didn't, though, and neither did I....

    I didn't suggest any such thing.

    That was never my suggestion but I return to what I said earlier. One must not assume that personal experience is necessarily guidance for others. Suggestions tailored to the perceived, or declared, needs of another is a better, careful and considered response.

    My observations apply to myself in the same way they're intended to apply to others.
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2018
  7. bluebird

    bluebird Regular Contributor

    While I understand mac's carefulness, I just want to say that I did not find Ski's suggestions to be overbearing or even slightly harmful -- and I am someone who does take umbrage when I perceive someone else attempt to put her/himself forward as an "expert" in the afterlife, dictate to others how they should live/behave, etc. I think Ski's suggestions should be approached in the same way as should all afterlife-related topics -- take on board whatever you find helpful, whatever resonates for you, and leave the rest. ;)
    Ski likes this.
  8. Ski


    Fair enough....have a good day Mac!
    - If I crossed any boundaries with my last suggestion, I sincerely apologize
  9. Ski


    Thank you....and excellent post. That was my intention, and what I was trying to convey, but you said it perfectly, Bluebird.
    bluebird likes this.
  10. mac

    mac Staff Member

    Thank you for your consideration but you did not cross any boundaries. :)
    Ski likes this.

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