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death of a friend

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Highlander, Mar 12, 2018.

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  1. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    I suppose this might be the wrong place to say this but I just have to say something. Our family is struggling with what happened in Yountville on Friday. One of the three women killed was/is a close and dear friend. Rest in Peace, Jennifer Gonzales.
    I just don't what else to say.
  2. mac

    mac Staff Member

    I moved this to its own thread as its such a personal situation, Highlander.

    It's hard to know how to respond. As a foreigner, but one who's been around here since 2004, I'm used to hearing about these desperately tragic events at the same time as remaining appalled at their frequency, the ease with which killing happens.

    How does one make sense of such tragedy?
  3. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    Thank you, Mac. I can't say enough about Dr. Jennifer Gonzales. She was/is one of the sweetest most intelligent and loving people I've ever met. All she wanted to do is help veterans suffering from depression, anxiety and PTSD. She dedicated her life toward helping those most in need.
    Her smile could light up a room. An angel was taken from us.
  4. pandora97

    pandora97 Well-Known Member

    So sorry for your loss and that of her family and other friends as well. Sadly, there are no answers..........:(
  5. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    Thank you, Pandora. There are answers. I'm nearly 70 years old and I have seen a steady coarsening of society which I see as the root problem. We need to get back to a place where people respect one another. Today there is far more ignorance, hatred and fear than when I was a child. We have regressed. Hopefully we will wake up and save ourselves from us.
  6. mac

    mac Staff Member

    I agree that society has changed almost immeasurably - coarsened is a very good description and embraces much of what's wrong. It's fairly simple to identify the problem but finding ways to make the necessary changes is where society may struggle.

    It's easy to break things but hard to put them back together the way they used to be.
    ravensgate likes this.
  7. kim

    kim Active Member

    I second your thoughts Mac, and I hear that everywhere. It seems so difficult to recreate this world.
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2018
  8. RobertaGrimes

    RobertaGrimes Administrator

    Dear Highlander and everyone, if we each will raise our personal vibrations away from fear and toward more perfect love, then such terrible things never will happen again. You and I are where it starts, dear friends, and never doubt that we will be able to move mountains!
    genewardsmith and pandora97 like this.
  9. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    Thank you for that, Roberta. We are on the same page, same book, same note.

    I would like to expound on a theme Mac and I were discussing earlier, namely the coarsening of society and the general human experience over the last few decades. I have several pertinent background experiences to share and here is one of them:
    As I said, I will shortly be 70 years old. When I was 14 and a freshman in high school I, like nearly all of my classmates, belonged to several school-sanctioned clubs. One of these clubs I joined was a gun club. One of the girls I liked in my class joined, so I did too.
    So, after school twice a week we would all meet (maybe 25 to 30 students) at a local indoor gun range where we were taught by adults, gun skills such as safety, proper use of a weapon and target practice skills. It was great fun. We bought jackets and proudly displayed at school and in public our marksman badges sewed thereon. It was all no big deal much like any other school club. This was at a time when adults were sane and so were their children.
    At no time did any of us ever even consider pointing our weapons at another person.
    Can you imagine anything like this happening today? Society has gone so far down the rabbit hole that we may never be able to come back. How truly sad, shameful and pathetic.
  10. ravensgate

    ravensgate Active Member

    Often overlooked in the family values rhetoric is the obvious fact that the traditional family can also be a site in which negative values can be transmitted. In the current rush to enshrine the nuclear family, it can be forgotten (or overlooked) that traditional nuclear families have also been the place where children have seen, learned about, and been the victims of behavior such as domestic violence, sexual abuse, and incest. Abuse and criminal behaviors occur in traditional families also, very much so!
    The notion that the two-parent family is a prerequisite to passing on good values, as well as the assumption that there is a consensus with respect to which values are important, was a central focus in the 1992 Republican Party Platform.
    Rather than longing for the "good old days," romanticizing the idea of family, and seeking to impose one set of values on everyone, the focus should be on trying to develop policies that will create a just society where people can make their own choices about the most personal aspects of their lives.

    Highlander, I am sorry for your loss and hope you will receive some sign to let you know she is alright. That would not decrease the emotional pain, but perhaps knowing she is ok might be of some comfort during this difficult, anguishing period.
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
    Amore and bluebird like this.
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