Crossing over soon

I haven't been here in a bit,but something has recently happened that has hit very close to home.

My brother-in-law suffered a major stroke last Friday evening. At first they thought there might be a possibility of recovery, but over the last 2 days, he is slipping further and further. The Dr's say there is very little hope. Thursday they are going to turn off his ventilator and let him go. He always told my sister if it came to this, just wheel him out into the woods with a shotgun. Fortunately his family is all in agreement that this is the right decision. He just turned 62 in May and had filed for his social security benefits last Monday. He wanted to reduce his work hours and work on the house they had recently moved into. How awful is that.

Its really got me thinking of what this transition period must be like, knowing he'll be gone in 2 days. I really don't know if he can be aware of whats happening, since he had so much damage to his brain. Any thoughts on anybody's experiences with something like this?

 

Sorry for what you're going through. Even though he may not be conscious and may have brain damage he may still 'hear' you, even if only telepathically (many nurses encourage family members to talk their loved ones even though they don't respond). Any positive intentions that you can send him, that he crosses over peacefully, that his passing is peaceful, that you love him, is hugely helpful.

With Lovingkindness (metta),
vic

 

You can never really "prepare" for death. You can acknowledge that it is going to happen, but it is going to be painful no matter your beliefs or how well you prepared you think you are.

The only thing I could really recommend is to make him comfortable during the last moments in his life.

 

We all grieve for you, dear Greystone. But not for him! Please know the following facts that I've gleaned from a lifetime of doing this work:

1) He is at a planned exit point, and his higher consciousness has chosen to transition now. This is neither random, nor - from his perspective - tragic.

2) He is almost certainly much more aware than he was when his brain was functioning. People in his condition are generally out of their bodies and hanging around in the room.

3) He isn't sad at all - he is excited, if perhaps concerned about anyone around him who seems to be especially grieving.

So everyone should treat the situation that way, if you can. Talk to him, reminisce, tell him you love him. Make it kind of a bittersweet party, with the emphasis on the "sweet." When my father had a stroke and spent two weeks dying (no plug to pull), we had his friends in, people were telling funny stories, and sometimes a little smile would play around his lips. For your beloved brother-in-law, the pain is over now, the struggle is over, the wondering whether he ever is going to be able to retire is over. All over! He is about to get out of school and enjoy an eternity far more wonderful than any of us can conceivably imagine.

 

Thank you all for your kindness and words of encouragement. Its interesting that you say he's more aware. Although now he is in a deep sleep, he seems to be very peaceful and at ease. I don't think that it is necessarily the medication responsible entirely for that. I do believe he is ready for his transition. He has pretty much been non responsive since Sunday morning, but when my sister told him yesterday that his wishes were going to be fulfilled,he squeezed her hand. Thats the only response they have gotten in 3 days. She knows that he knows. And yes, there will be a celebration of his life after. He always hated gloomy. He had told her not too long ago that he thought something was coming soon. He had some vision issues and meniere's disease, and said he thought something wasn't quite right. No way to prepare for something so quick and catastrophic though.

 

Sorry for what is happening with you. I am sure no one is prepared for his death. That’s not an easy decision. How is your brother-in-law now?

 

They are turning off the ventilator this morning. We don't think this will be a long phase though. It should be soon and peaceful.

 

I hope for peace for him, you, and the rest of your family, Greystone.

 

He went quickly and quietly Thursday morning. Thank you all for your thoughts. As per his wishes we're having a family barbeque this weekend. I'm sure he'll be there overlooking the grilling!

For any of you who are interested in "numbers", here's one for you. My mother passed away Aug 18th several years ago. My nephews wife had a baby boy the 19th of August (the day after).. Bill, my brother-in-law passed on Thursday the 18th. This morning at 11:30, my niece had a baby boy, the 19th. What are the odds??

 

I'm glad to hear his passing was not difficult, and I'm sure he will be very present with you on the weekend and probably quite often in the future.