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bereavement emotions

Discussion in 'General Afterlife Discussions' started by jimrich, May 2, 2019.

  1. jimrich

    jimrich Established Member

    I had a lot of signs, communications & readings shortly after their Transition then they slowly dropped off. I was told the disincarn. Has much to do over there & can't spend so much time with me so it's time to grow up & continue living my life over here with faith, coreage & dignity. Now that I truly know we survive death, I no longer need lots of signs and reassurance so I notice signs when they appear BUT don't yearn for them.
  2. poeticblue

    poeticblue member

    Perhaps a separate thread needs to be made @mac :)
  3. Ruby

    Ruby Established Member

    I can't remember where I read this, it may have been on this site, but when we reflect that it can be difficult to remember what we were doing just yesterday we realise that the idea that detailed information could come through mediums from the dead is a trifle unrealistic! The same with signs. After all, if they are still around on a different plane of existence they have been through quite a change!
    Bluejaye, I too lost a son, to cancer, almost three years ago, and we have one left. I remember being advised to keep talking of the lost one and that some couples never mention them again, which sounded awful to me. But then you realise that your other half, and other child, might not be in the right frame of mind to be reminded of the trauma, so it can be difficult. Christmas was hard again as it was just the three if us, but now he's getting married which is great. I still can hardly believe it happened. Another thing is that people talk of death as if it's the worst thing ever but I think not, as if your child is there, it can't be, it must be okay. You have to make it okay in your mind. It's almost like you feel insulted. People seem terrified to talk about it or face up to it, which is pathetic really.
  4. Ruby

    Ruby Established Member

    Oh sorry, I didn't mean us, people who are grieving, but other people around us. It's not so bad now, but for a long time I'd notice people avoiding me when walking the streets of this small town. People have no idea what to say and often can't even just come up to you and say they're sorry for your loss. Something which you'd think would just come naturally.
  5. Ruby

    Ruby Established Member

    Another thing, sorry. It makes me slightly panic when people say they've learned to make the most of every minute because of the death of a loved one. I feel entitled to enjoy myself doing whatever or nothing at all just as much as someone whose family is alive and well.
    But seriously, it gets better, time heals all wounds. You're just left thinking of them all the time, you maintain your relationship with them just as much as if they were alive.
  6. Ruby

    Ruby Established Member

    Am here on the couch wasting good electricity, but notice on reading your post again that you may not be advocating improvements, but just not taking things for granted! The spring blossom this year is absolutely magnificent. The cherry trees are a sight to behold. Probably mac agrees?
    If I put in emojis or whatever they're called they never seem to print. I must be doing something wrong.
  7. mac

    mac Staff Member

    I disagree. What we incarnates remember or forget is down to our biological memory. After we pass over biological memory is no longer in the frame so it's an altogether different form of memory. Whether it's better than our biological one I don't know but my hunch is that it is better with info. stored and accessible on demand. I'll see if that's right before too long.... Mediums may be hampered by the trans-dimensional information process, some being far more adept at conveying information from discarnate to incarnate. It doesn't necessarily mean, though, that the communicator hasn't been able to remember simply because detailed information isn't able to be provided by the medium.

    Signs and symbols may be even more difficult to send and they don't have the benefit of a third-party go-between.

    And the gender issue may complicate the issue. The situation of motherhood is something a male can't ever know first-hand. Add to that picture the differences simply between individuals - parents and siblings also - and there's no single way that's right for all.

    For many people death is the worst thing ever because they have no awareness or understanding of death and of survival and may indeed have fear of every aspect of it. That they avoid talking about death with others is totally understandable because they have no way to relate to it without fear and confusion. Despite all I write about this subject it can be immensely difficult finding the right face-to-face introduction and follow-on when someone is grieving. It can be like walking on egg-shells.
  8. mac

    mac Staff Member

    Maybe I'm more understanding of their position, Ruby? I rarely say "I'm sorry for your loss." much preferring to ask how that individual is, and how they're coping. From there I try to open up the subject of survival, toss in a few words to view their reaction. If there's an opening I'll go a little further, always assessing how far the individual wants to go. It ain't easy for me and I tread warily because it can upset rather than provide comfort and help.
  9. mac

    mac Staff Member

    Spring is the time our son passed so whenever we look at the blossom and emerging leaves, birds making a racket early in the dark of a spring morning. they're reminders for my wife particularly of the time after he passed, the time we'd expected him to be with us in our home, in the bedroom we'd prepared for him during the long winter as we waited for his arrival.

    But, yes, the blossom here in the UK is magnificent, the fresh new leaves are beautiful, the trees returning to their impressive summer shapes after the bareness of winter. Life goes on....
  10. Ruby

    Ruby Established Member

    Yes, thanks mac, I suppose so, but as an emotionally repressed Scot, "I'm sorry for your loss" works for me, but crossing the street looking the other way I was annoyed about! I would like to have met you in the street after it happened. Thanks for the insight!

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